Sometimes I feel the need to seek validation
I’m scared that your late response meant something more
Or you had a reason for pulling your hand away
It’s not because I don’t believe that you love me
But it’s that I don’t want you to be secretly hiding that you don’t want me anymore
It’s not that I don’t trust you
It’s that I just want to verify your feelings are still as they were 10 minutes ago
It’s not that I doubt your love either
It’s that I am not worthy of your love and yet you still love me
You continue to tell me that even though I am not enough for someone like you
I want to make sure you’re satisfied with your decision of choosing me when you could’ve had someone else
So many phantom shapes
Fluff about the local space
I can barely sense them brushing
Not hiding, just skimming existence
Not in or out
Among the growing shadows
I recall music I've never heard
Reminding me of places I've never been
Where I yearn to go back
This is the stuff of happiness
It and I alone, together mingling.
How lucky I am
To have the privilege
Of hearing your voice
Through a speaker,
The remnants of your laugh
Still burnt into memory,
Your smile the brightest
There ever truly was,
As infectious as ever.
But what of your touch,
Your hold, your hug.
How do I remember
The physicalities of these things
And the comfort that they could
Always so easily bring.
How do I recall
What it felt like
To throw myself into your arms
And be wrapped in the warmth
Of the sun amidst a frozen winter land.
To know that you would always be here?
How do I recall it
When the moment I try,
There's a ghost of a shiver,
Of a touch, of a hold
That leaves the entirety of me
Shaking, quaking, aching,
That leaves me longing
For the reassurance
And the presence
Of my mother again.
Haven’t done this in a while,
haven’t been waving or drowning.
The body is in continuous bloom
with a concerning fragrance.
But, there is nothing to stop you
from taking it in your arms
and telling it, you are good.
My child, you are strong and wise.
You were not taken at all by surprise.
My will is slowly opening your eyes.
Someday you will have a love without lies.
How to reassure you
I’m certain I don’t know
The future’s always with us
We ignore it even so
How to ease your worries
There are no guarantees
If what we know about our past
Won’t put your heart at ease…
How long will love last?
Close your eyes
Count to infinity…
This symbol of my affection, a sign
of my intention, was paid for over time
Tiny little symbol, sacred, so fine,
gently placed ring, in a tiny box
I couldn't help but wonder,
Am I your one...
to remove one's locks or...
could this be a blunder
look in our eyes, this will tell you...
this one symbol or a sign, in this tiny box,
placed on her slender finger, is love so true
so certain, to pic locks, tie new knots...
after all that has been said,
our affection will truly stand this course of time,
thus, finally on your finger, so we will wed
so too, this our sign, our symbol, soon to set just fine
walking alone with my memories and a tearstained heart
watching the water and thinking about Her
there is nobody here and the chill and the quiet is a perfect combination
the makeshift Christmas tree on the sand makes me laugh for short spell
wishes and regrets then creep up on me and steal me again
i am on spaghetti legs but remain Bountifully Blessed
the water senses my level of unbalance and doctors me back straight
i walk along and reminisce about the company that now dwells in heaven
the skies are blue and the sun is elated
despite the wind being unforgiving, i feel its guaranteed embrace
so many songs pop into my head
i am a snaggletoothed little boy again, impatient and full of energy
i hear you now firmly telling me to go and unpack
now i hear no voices
now i am forever wounded due to my choices
nevertheless i have maternal healing hands that are Heavenly Dipped and Infinitely Divine to reassure me
my walk becomes more confidently erect
my heart beats with pride and valor, pumping the tearstains away
Suddenly, in a flash
Like a gallant leap or a mad dash
Everything that used to be
Was suddenly history
Life as I knew it ceased to exist
And became what I’d always wished
Not in my wildest dreams would I have ever known
All the wonderful things I would come to own
And I am not just talking about material things
Also, circumstances, my entire being
From inner beauty to physical health
From serenity to endless wealth
In every single shape and form
My life was completely transformed
Grace was given to me for my faith
And eternal life through his name
Everything is so beautiful
So complete I am finally whole
It’s hard to convey the entire concept
You won’t believe until you have experienced it
But when you finally do, you’ll be taken back
So in aw you’ll lose your breath
One of these days the time will come
And you will finally get to see the son
It is then you will know you are a chosen one
You’ll feel such love that you will cry
Someday we will meet again
On the day you die….
A Monster in My Closet
There’s a monster in my closet
He’s looking right at me;
His eyes glow red – his teeth are green;
He’s as scary as can be.
There’s an ogre in the corner
I know for sure he’s there;
I can smell his breath from here
And see his slimy hair.
There’s a gremlin behind my chair,
Growling like a beast;
Slowly now he creeps toward me;
Someone stop him please!
There's a giant river troll
Underneath my bed;
Snorting, drooling, hiding there -
I think his name is Fred?!
There’s a creature on my ceiling
Hanging from one claw;
Waiting just to pounce on me
With his grimy paws.
There’s phantom at my desk
Silent as can be,
Hovering up in the air,
Giant as a big oak tree.
There’s a goblin at my window
Trying to get in;
Tapping on the windowpane;
I see his sneering grin.
My mother comes to check on me;
She sees my fear, my fright;
Sitting on my bed she says:
“Turn on the light!”
Hope
As I gaze up with wonderous eyes into the night sky, I stand in awe at the vastness of our universe. Stars twinkle from millions of miles away, yet they seem close enough to grasp in your hand.
I continue to marvel at the endless obscurity that surrounds us all, and like a faithful companion, the chilly night winds blew through my hair, and across my face like the caress of a soft hand.
While staring at the boundlessness of space, waves of loneliness began to wash over me. Are we alone, with no one to watch over us? A concept that not only filled me with loneliness but with fear.
But then, my question was answered, and like a stone dancing across the water of a clear mountain lake, a glittering sphere of light raced across the starry sky, as if to say “fear not, I am here”
V.M. Tackett
In his never-ending quest for Truth, Justice and the American Way
Our President, Mr. Donald Trump, reassured us about Iran yesterday
First, of course, if Iran does not develop the bomb
We can 'Make Iran Great Again,' boasted Trump with aplomb
And if that happens, Iranians will be very 'wealthy and happy'
Our Fearless Leader mused, not at all worried about sounding real sappy
Last, but not least, the Great Man said he could see
Becoming 'Best Friends' with Iran, just you wait -- Tee Hee!
Well, after reading this stuff, I was sure greatly relieved
That America's news media could be so easily deceived
If I were to confess,
accept responsibility for misdeeds,
would my honesty overwhelm you?
Would you judge me,
look for the door,
or
would you still love me?
Should I sustain loss,
require support,
might I lean on you?
Would you guide me
through life’s darkest struggles
and
would you still love me?
When age leaves scars
on body and mind,
could I trust you to remain true?
If my memory of you was impaired,
years lost,
dreams gone,
would you still love me?
If I were to pass,
would you recall the love we shared?
Should you move on,
would thoughts of our life together
still warm your heart?
I need only to know,
when life is no longer as easy as today,
would you still love me?
*December 21, 2018
For Edward Ibeh’s “Would You Still Love Me?” contest
Bona fide reassurance to make you mine once more
Was the pledge to offer my life to yours
How could I get us back on the right track
After I made your heart like a giant marble crack
My boundless love was supposed to illuminate
To the deepest walls of your heart
To light even the furthest darkness
Would be a fantastic start
What did I do for you if anything at all
Other than mass time and effort to spend
Only for you to leave me anyway
These stories always have a rotten end
I pardoned then just to let you die
And like a young bird wishing to fly
to spread my wings to take off into the night sky
Without another moment's hesitation I'd try
Nevertheless still I say
to come knock on my door
So when you're lonely or afraid
With open arms you return once more
Come darling love
Would you mine
If I held you just a little while
Nothing sexy nor sensual only spirit
soothing this I'm letting you know
My purpose in holding you
just reassurance for you to no
And I darling love
With you together we'll both praise God
On earth and in the heavens
Yes! for all of eternity we'll be together
My purpose in holding you
just reassurance for you to no
Nothing sexy nor sensual only spirit
soothing this I'm letting you know
If I held you just a little while
Would you mine
Come darling love
10/27/18
written words by James Edward Lee Sr. ©2018
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