I Recently Found Out
Recently I found out light is
afraid of
dried figs, (figs are
fascinated by
anything square-shaped); ice block sticks are into
lounges and
cars; pastry grow facial hair and
grow pubic hair; Mr Ironic plays the
violin; Mrs Stun gun bathes in
red wine. To
hurt Mr Jeans’ feelings all you have to
do is lower your
eyebrows; pool chlorine wants to be a
cat so it can
lick itself; free moustaches can
juggle worms; eggplants have
laughing fits when
the temperature goes
below zero; brown sugar has a
better smelling ability than
dogs have; white sugar can
type 120 words per minute; lemons can dream and
narrate documentaries on
any subject; sling shots are
huge fans of
the Golden Age of
Hollywood.
Hallway
Things the upstairs hallway desperately needs to
make her feel like a
hallway include:
jugs of
water with a
hint of
lemon and
sarsaparilla (yuk!), heads of
asparagus, afros, viruses (non-
life-threatening
only), accounting ledgers, human
toenails, frog
farts, TV static, nautical
caps, half
rainbows, a
cat – any breed will
do – meows, stamps (blank), bucket of
courage, two hand size steel
blocks, Ag chemical silver shavings, hair strings (chimp
only), dice x
10, white feathers of
any white-feathered bird, angel
pubic hair (men’s only), Chinese buttons, and
fly eyes.
Oh, how I remember that day at my school
I went to the bathroom and pulled out my tool
Then I noticed down there
Saw- (peach-fuzz)- pubic hair
I felt really big, really proud, really cool
My neighbour, Mellifluous Myrtle
Her urine she’d stir with a spurtle
She’d give me a wink
Then down it as drink
She’s loopier than the mock turtle!
One Sunday we’d watched the Grand Prix
She proffered a flask of her pee
I said, “Sorry dear
It’s cloudy not clear -
I much prefer my English tea!”
Her pubic hair she'd tried to perm
The lotion gave a nasty burn
I phoned up Bill, her son
And said ,"Please visit mum,
Her conduct is cause for concern."
I recently heard some great news
That Myrtle’s son won a year cruise
I must hope and then pray
When they leave on Friday
Her bev’rages ain’t from the loos!
Leaving very comfortable warmth
I didn't want to come
Forcefully I have been sent to
The blazing fire of the earthen furnace
Even there was no relief of huge crying
From the bone crushing claws of the Harpy eagle.
Seeing a lot of claptrap and complexity
Seeing the dirty politics of knotting pubic hair
Sent myself to the solitary forest from scratch
To be lonely in this manner is the best in the world
Staying inside the shell like a snail is an immaculate beauty.
From the time of arrival there was a rush to go back
However, Chand Miah , the fact is that-
At the time of departure, looking back-
I don't know where, I see a hard twist,
I feel a pathetic pull inside.
You know that they are many
And you’re asking ‘if any?’
Those who could kill for Penny
For it search Nook and Cranny
You know that they are heady
And for lynching The Ready,
For every touched property
And The Thief of Puberty
And just there - Pubic Hair
Making The Theft Quite Unfair …
A Poverty of Ideas
By Man who Poverty fears!
There has been a joining of an adult male and a female child
Not quite a proud owner of a single pubic hair,
Letting a lamb under the same roof as The Wild
And treating both as “A Divine Pair”
The man’s boyish smiles are a ruse:
The girl hasn’t yet begun to bolted bathrooms use…
Now, there are to be matches between a stout phallus and a hole
Too tender to start conceding a goal.
… As it could burst into flames, vowing to not forget
A treatment not befitting A Nugget.
Supposedly the answer to prolonged spinsterhood
But ironically worse than chaining widowhood:
Aiming to stall a woman’s heartbreak by insincere suitors
But keeping the infant wife constantly with sly mentors.
Paired up are a two owning contrasting tracks
By races audaciously upholding their cracks
Also, the clear encouragement of hateful inhibitions
And a stark support of deaf traditions.
Then a lot of hair and pubic hair grew up
They grew up and rolled his legs on the ground
As if a long-winded root of an entire Banyan tree
Crossing the Armpit valley
Came to the ground-
Exquisite beauty images were embodied
But the eternal waiting turn was yet to finish.
There was a lot of whispering and whispering
A lot things were cut and a lot of knots were tied
By Cutting and binding
It made a gigantic straw-stack of farmer’s house
Like a very big mountain
Exquisite beauty images were embodied
But the eternal waiting turn was yet to finish.
Darkness is removed by the light of his skull
There becomes dawn on the ground
But what a terrible deception
In the treaty of stupid interests
Deep in the water, on the ground, in the sky-
Darkness of the pubic hair
Swallows the golden stream of the sun
Snarling of time is added.
Still-
To light a lamp rubbing some darkness
The strong desire for awakens
In the simple skull of the dissociated Sirius.
Got excited to find a grey pubic hair today
But not as excited as others in the elevator, I'd say
Some screamed in horror
Others fell on the floor
Guess I should have chosen another way
Found my first grey pubic hair, got so excited
But others on the elevator were quite divided
One said that's life
Another gave this advice
Hair will still grow even when on autopilot
They say we should not judge a book by it cover
But if the tittle is Souleiman Hamzah
Then I think I ever glance through
Hey man, if you can hear me out
Your yester years wasn't bad
People say it was good
But to me it was better
And I know you will do best today
As you have just been given a brand new book to continue your story
Hey man, if the pubic hair you grow today resulted from the competition between day and night to rule us,then u should be a good competitor
For you were born to rule
Even were I was a tail, you were the head
Hey man, it is not what you are chasing that I wish for you
But on what your name is written, I pray will come your way.
The action is downtown going quickly there
are girls dancing on a pool symbolism not needed
this constant friction any pubic hair left
it doesn`t matter it is in garish colours and
music that arrests free thinking and lap dancing are for losers
the only time the get an intimation of sex
and going home and pocket masturbate and feeling quailed
drying your shoes on the mat, your mother saying there
are sandwiches in the fridge
not let her know you had dancing girls sat on your lap.
Not surrounded by cherubs,
the Nude Maja
shows pubic hair...
She stares,
and makes women ill at ease,
though I cannot speak for men.
There is a faint line of hair
from crotch to navel...
I cannot say I quested this
and most men would not care,
(or would they?)
for chance to see inclusion.
The pillows are nice
and the green coverlet,
but one is drawn to piercing eyes,
and the fact she has nothing to offer
except to show off cheap-style
in Madrid's Museo.
-----------------------------------------
9/8/2015
Contest - Controversial
Sponsor - Charlotte Jade Puddifoot
6th place win
Mambo (hi)
I talked to mum and brother and they say you are not doing well
Mum says the last time she saw you, you were better
She says you are worse now
Your once clear eyes, are now yellow
Auntie showed me a message you posted three weeks ago on whatsapp
Before you went to India
You sounded so hopeful
India couldn't do anything for, you are at terminal stage
A topic we hardly talk about because of your age
But we have too
There is no time left too
The only time we have,is to love
My most memories of you, of us
Is when I was entering puberty
I remember embarrassingly asking you about pubic hair, breasts, adams apple
In my homescience assignments
You were so good at answering them
You were so good at teaching me that new world I was about to enter
You were a great mentor
And those chapatis, OMG!
I remember your cooking lessons
You were so good at making that bread
With it, we were well fed
Thank you for being an awesome cousin
The only time we have, is to love
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