Senescence ongoing
Biological to the core
Cellular and systemic
Even genes mutate
Creeps in on you
Like a thief at night
Movement deliberate
Your thoughts too
The new kids run
Outpacing you
The final stretch
Never ending
Energy flagging
Redeemed by love
Unconditional and true
As you kick to the end
I've been trying to climb this mountain called life
But I keep tumbling down
My heart is broken and I am bruised inside
My strength is gone and I dont think I can carry on
No one knows or sees my wounds
I have learned to hide them deep in the heart of the mountain
I wonder if I will ever reach the top
Will I ever see a different and beautiful view
The valley has left my life distorted
Frowning ghosts haunt my memories
I have heard them say
When you reach the top of the mountain
What you see will shock you
It is all nothing but emptiness
There's a storm in my heart
It has tattooed scars on my soul
I have seen the ugly face of a wound
It reeked bitterness
And in the cold dark pain
I felt something die inside me
Now I carry the carcass of dream
My hopes have deserted me
To crown me king of sorrow
My kingdom is brokenness
Pieces of me lie shattered and bruised
I have no song and no dance
I have become a forlorn statue
Time scorns at my disappointments
There is a part of me that no longer cries
It is buried deep inside gloom
I have become stone and desert
And when the arid winds blow
I cringe like a wounded animal
And howl in pain
Biting cold night
Tears on a rose
Her petals turn gray
Death sucks her life away
She stands alone in feeling
No one knows her secret cries
She has shed away her hopes
Her beautiful soul holds memories
Of times sunshine kissed her face
Now darkness swamps her world
On the grave where they have laid her to rest
The day I arrived
in my own good time
(not at all shy)
neither early nor late
13th July
I remember it well
t'was a memorable date
as a present from my parents
(their pride and joy a baby boy)
a Wednesday I recall
some time in the morn
the best day of my life after all
for it was the one
on which I was born
[ Poet’s Note : Companion Poem to
attenuate: Aug 26 ]
her gracile cancer ridden body disturbed soul shores, re-assimilating into ether
simultaneously
embodied light attenuated as rain sleets soaked washing trauma embedded
molecules —
shattered dreams attenuated floorboards, oregons shivering sunlight through colourful veils
meanwhile
gracile human pendants attenuated threads of Leo’s mane, gently swaying in cool breeze
…
grey matter spilled into hot black and white hands
healing —
blue veins attenuated
their hair one corn, one wavy
lips grim thick and thin
clothed in hospital tunics
spaceship hovered silver sleek
cancer attenuated —
She’s an everyday woman
And she’s every woman
Check your watch to see if she’s fashionably late
Consider, mull it over, contemplate
What’s the alternative to waiting on your babe
When you were led to her by astrolabe
Sometimes the pending storm will cover the stars
As the past is covered by scars
When the torrential rains, when the flashing storms
She’s hanging on, Damn right! Your heart conforms
So, I want you to take note
“Find a woman and you’ll find love” a Skynyrd quote
You’ve found the one, and there’s no comparison
And while she’s not a very good dancer
She does everything Fred Astaire does
except backwards and in high heels
A secondhand heart and romancer
And the way she looks gets you in "the feels"
She beat Cancer
And the birthing pangs for Heaven’s sake
Need I go any further
Cancer
Terror invades every atom of my being
Eyes darting aimlessly
Flickering left to right
Looking for an escape
Praying for an escape
Knowing there is no escape
Cancer
Words carry pain
Words can hurt
But it is not just a word
Its an oily black slinking entity
It’s hunger is massive
It’s appetite eternal
I stand by helpless as this unseen criminal
Steals the future we thought was promised
I watch it devour half of my heart and soul
Masticating our laughter
Guzzling our tears
I am angry
I am enraged
How dare you leave me
How dare you take him from me
By strength of will alone
I want to hold you fiercely
And refuse the afterlife its prize
You look at me
That now familiar weary sadness has settled on your face
Yet for the briefest of moments
Humor twinkles in your hazel eyes
If anybody can do it
It would be you Opie
I smile through a veil of tears
I bury my face into your ravaged chest
And sob
Outside the shrinking circle of sanity,
There's a raging, new-age blitz.
Filled with sirens and fiery cliques.
That live to smear a smile and gnaw away at bliss.
Don't let them drag you into the red rat's hole,
smash the last sequin of your precious soul.
They exist to confuse, rebrand, control.
Pat themselves on "your" back and call it growth...
As you gag on the smoke of their supernova egos.
They frolic in their own self-righteous misery.
Clown culture in the first dazzling degree.
Cherish and defend your peace and space vigorously.
Covers a life in shadows,
Crying tears of fear, a melody
Colored by doubts, mourning
Common times when healthy and strong
Calm days, taken for granted
Considered normal, before normal
Corroded beneath a deadly disease
our wedding day portrait
two made one
misted by years
masked by smoke-filled skies
bobby, gina—two of our three
days seared with sun and a child’s scuffed knee
through spelling tests piano recitals saturday games
kneeling together strokes of unquestioned belief
caps and gowns, crystal and dented brass
degrees in business and medicine
marriages grandchildren colors filling the sassafras
then job losses metastasis scares hospital gowns
loneliness
values smudged
quibbles spatter pigment
no one budged
boredom drowned in tanqueray the glass smelled of pine
blue smoke, screens, two strangers behind painted glass
lost in a bell jar of belladonna
two martini glasses, an untouched olive
the letter’s paper like granite, vows sun-washed away
body mind and spirit—desaturated
a torn canvas split along jagged lines
no reconciliation
reimagining life with unfamiliar faces
a torn canvas becomes two paintings
no masking tape or super glue
can ever repair a canvas torn in two
=======
Using religious piety,
To spread hate in society,
Cancer masquerades, to destroy
Using every malignant ploy,
Spreading spite - feigning honesty,
Thriving well as a fallacy -
A wolf with warm deceptive eyes,
Charms one and all with its disguise.
Its rule is avid bigotry,
Feasting on the minority,
Spreading uncontrolled all-around,
All of compassion’s voice is drowned.
Breaking walls; tearing hearts apart;
Hateful seeds sown in every heart.
Muzzling dissent, playing a perilous game,
Fascism is this cancer’s treacherous name.
Copyright © by Crystal David John
The web was spun of purest gold, each strand a wonder to behold, the silver shears like a lover, the fate that lay in cloudless cover, each day a reason to always be, each night an endless void of dreamless sleep, in life the steps echo so pure, a beautiful journey with you so near, and yet a hand outstretched so far, to catch the light of a dying star, a fleeting moment long past in time, another second to know I'm alive, a love that lingers so innocently, a lie repeated to deceive, to see with eyes closed so tight is not the way to a happy life
Between my hands warming themselves in the sun of tomorrow,
The memory of our shared moments is still present.
The sky, a wash of orange watercolor where a jasmine scent drifts.
My nets pull up my thoughts, anchors from the depths of time.
Between my hands escapes a smile lit by the lights of the past,
The memory of last hopes, for we always want to believe.
Each moment becomes precious and our eyes are filled with tears,
Our gazes speak and understand each other, time is running out.
Between my hands I press my temples tightly so as not to forget,
The memory of shared moments, no more trivialities, just being there.
You are luminous, the sound of logs crackling in the fireplace.
These exchanged words are nectar, and the fire will not erase them.
Our gazes meet and we know your body is growing tired,
Our pasts no longer matter in the fury of destiny.
One step, it is obvious, a thread of hope for life to charm again.
Last flash of light, time is hurried — here is the end of the path.
Joël Charvillat
When Dad was a child, he stole a pack of cigarettes.
It turned out to be something that he would regret.
His mom spanked him and made him return the cigarettes to the store.
Dad's ass stung and he decided not to steal anything anymore.
Today is the thirteenth anniversary of his death.
After battling Leukemia, he drew his final breath.
Dad died on the thirteenth year of the century and the thirteenth of July.
He's been dead for thirteen years and it was sad to know he would die.
I'm usually not superstitious but I do hate the number thirteen.
Rather than face that number, I would rather face a guillotine.
[Dedicated to Charles F. Johnson (1947-2013) who died 13 years ago tonight on July 13, 2013]
Cancer Categories
Definition | What is Cancer in Poetry?
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Related Poetry Forms
tumor, corruption, malignancy, disease, sickness, canker, c, carcinoma, big c, long illness,