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You'Re In Trouble - Bawdy Warning

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09/22/23

My neighbour, Mellifluous Myrtle Her urine she’d stir with a spurtle She’d give me a wink Then down it as drink She’s loopier than the mock turtle! One Sunday we’d watched the Grand Prix She proffered a flask of her pee I said, “Sorry dear It’s cloudy not clear - I much prefer my English tea!” Her pubic hair she'd tried to perm The lotion gave a nasty burn I phoned up Bill, her son And said ,"Please visit mum, Her conduct is cause for concern." I recently heard some great news That Myrtle’s son won a year cruise I must hope and then pray When they leave on Friday Her bev’rages ain’t from the loos!

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John Read

Date: 10/9/2024 12:14:00 PM

Myrtle's certainly no lady of taste, letting nothing go to waste, instead of tea, she drank her own pee, I wonder what's in the chocolate cake.

Beryl Edmonds

Date: 9/24/2023 1:02:00 AM

Good limericks Jan, hilarious… Belle

Jan Allison
Date: 9/24/2023 5:05:00 AM

Thanks Belle:-) hugs jan xx

David Fisher

Date: 9/23/2023 8:12:00 AM

This one get's us laughing. A true limerick all the way, Jan!

Jan Allison
Date: 9/23/2023 3:28:00 PM

Thanks David, some may not class it as 'real' poetry but hey ho not everyone writes the same style thankfully!:-) hugs Jan xx

Jerry Brotherton

Date: 9/23/2023 6:19:00 AM

Now that is one bawdy Limerick. I loved every word of it. Made me snot out my drink through my nose from laughter. Good thing it was only tea.

Jan Allison
Date: 9/23/2023 3:27:00 PM

Thanks Jerry, if I can make someone smile it makes my day:-) hugs Jan xx

Kim Rodrigues

Date: 9/22/2023 4:39:00 PM

That would be a troubling friendship. Bring your sealed water and run away when she downs her drink…really wouldn’t want to stand to close as she speaks.

Jan Allison
Date: 9/23/2023 3:27:00 PM

Thanks Kim:-) hugs Jan xx

Alexis Y.

Date: 9/22/2023 3:35:00 PM

Lol! Jan, This is funny and bawdy. I echo what Lin said. I enjoyed the read. Have a great weekend:-)Alexis

Jeff Connelly

Date: 9/22/2023 3:23:00 PM

Jan, this one is so crazily hilarious lololol. You truly rank up there with Lear!!!

Jan Allison
Date: 9/23/2023 3:27:00 PM

thanks so much for COMMENT OF THE YEAR! To be ranked up with Lear is beyond my wildest dreams:-) Hugs Jan xx

Deb M

Date: 9/22/2023 3:13:00 PM

Jan you are one clever minded and very witty lady with a touch of bonkers….that made me laff!!!! Debx

Jan Allison
Date: 9/23/2023 3:26:00 PM

Thanks Deb, I'll settle for that lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Tania Kitchin

Date: 9/22/2023 3:03:00 PM

Jan, ha ha, so cute and funny, love your humor!

Jan Allison
Date: 9/23/2023 3:25:00 PM

Thanks Tania:-) hugs Jan xx

James Fraser

Date: 9/22/2023 2:57:00 PM

Hahaha :) :) :) now this I didn't expect. Oooo weeee wowzers, one can get away with murder with Limericks Jan, nice one xx 100 out of 10 ;) xxxx

Jan Allison
Date: 9/22/2023 3:03:00 PM

lol:-) I always put bawdy so folk are under no illusion it may be a little risque lol, got to smile James , life isnt always a bowl of cherries for sure and I try and lighten the mood:-) hugs Jan xx

Arlo Parker

Date: 9/22/2023 1:45:00 PM

Gonna piss off a few souls but ur-in a stream of conscience kind of mind this morning. No stopping the flow from JA. :o)

Jan Allison
Date: 9/22/2023 3:02:00 PM

thanks AP I had fun with this one and with the title - If I piss folk off who cares lol:-) hugs jan xx

Lin Lane

Date: 9/22/2023 12:36:00 PM

You have some extremely weird neighbors. I'm glad your friends are not wacky and eccentric. Be VERY careful before you reply to that. lol You do love to walk along the edge of the cliff, don't you? Love ya for it.

Lin Lane
Date: 9/23/2023 5:34:00 AM

It's real life, Jan. You can't pretty it up with overused alliteration and rainbow colors.

Jan Allison
Date: 9/22/2023 3:01:00 PM

Lol Lin I may piss off a few folk with my poetry but frankly my dear i dont give a damn - to me this is REAL poetry lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Shadow Hamilton

Date: 9/22/2023 12:14:00 PM

I laughed at this tongue in cheek limerick Jan very good rhyme too hugs Shadow

Jan Allison
Date: 9/22/2023 12:28:00 PM

Thanks Shadow! I will never give up trying to make folk smile:-) hugs Jan xx

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 9/22/2023 11:59:00 AM

- Her behavior is really cause for concern ... in a year she might have become even more crazy ... I bet you're looking forward to it :) - Fun as always, Jan :) - Have a lovely weekend :) - hugs

Jan Allison
Date: 9/22/2023 12:09:00 PM

lol thaks Anne-Lise:-) yeah cant wait for the weekend:-) hugs Jan xx