There once was a man named Lincoln
Who couldn’t stop himself blinkin’
He couldn’t see
And hit a tree
Which started him a-drinkin’.
There once was a man named O’Hare
Who wore strange underwear
It was sparkled and frilly
And just plain silly
And he did it without a care.
There once was a man named Clegg
Who had a wooden leg
It was full of coins
Right up to his loins
So he never had to beg.
The most popular newborn male’s name in Israel in 2025: Muhammad
I guess that’s what happens when 'Jews commit genocide'
They start giving their kids Moslem names, don’t they
~ Any other fraudulent claims you want to accuse Israel of today?
________________________________________________________________________
If you doubt the truth of line one, please, please fact-check to your
heart's delight.
To make sure that lines two and three are clear: They are written
as total satire; They are completely and unequivocally untrue!!
The population of Israeli Arabs - that's right: Israeli Arabs who are
full citizens - while only about 25% that of Jewish Israelis, is growing
so fast that Muhammad is the most popular name for new baby males
in the entire country! Amazing! (Some 'genocide,' eh??)
I met one ant in my house.
I read about a second ant.
The second ant is another story.
If forced to give the first ant a name,.
I would most gladly call him Terry.
There was no interaction with the
Other ant that I only read about, but
I learned a valuable life-lesson from him.
However, the no name ant is another story.
My personal experience was with Terry.
Terry, heading west on my bathroom
Floor, suddenly turned right to go north.
Just to interact with him, I tried to turn him
Back north. He did not like my interference.
I offered him certain treats, but he said, "No".
So I left him alone.
I then proceeded to do other nessisary
chores and soon forgot about Terry.
I later remembered him and returned to see if he could be found. To my utter amazement and
Surprise, When I looked under the sink cabinet,
I witnessed an ant being reeled in by a spider.
I assumed it was Terry. Lesson learned?
If for any reason, you are advised by another,
Listen and proceed with caution, or turn
Around.
The order of a vitamin
Simply, life, a hair is for fun
Spoken worth, a willing shade to climb?
Into your lap, a wholer smile for any who would innocence
Spare me the details, in a cup of frequent spirits
High as a kite, with a reach to the stars, somewhere over the rainbow
I see your shared shall, if not the coolness of a remembered wit
Silver bells to come, an avidness of a problem we both know....
Toenails?
Simple rhythm of a bliss for ideology to bloom
Sakes without a created pain, to inform my clash with strength
Continue with a silent night, misery, promises to few, with soon
Could ink have an unexpected owe?
Silly accusations of windy deeds I have a saved repose
Lucky as this would seem, I have a question for adding a quiet mouse
Live and let live, or a sweet sincerity I should know, in the smile of a prose
Here goes kiddo...
Smile at the song of a fruity share, in a distant house
Walls of livid kindness, a God of asking a reason of a flower?
Lizards with a wisdom's tooth don't, promise us a spill of cleverness from Gods?
There once was a man named Clem
Who had copious amounts of phlegm
To his consternation
This sticky situation
Happened again and again and again.
I’ve never met you
yet your ghost still haunts me.
Every year, from spring to winter,
I hear how I am just like you
but you’re nothing like me;
My favorite color is purple
but yours would have been green,
In places I’m hidden
you seem to be seen
which is every place.
No matter where I go or what I do,
I’ll never amount or even come close to you.
Yet I’m real and you’re not
I lived and you died
but I’m the one who’s a ghost,
in their eyes.
A man named Ebenezer
Was also a very bad sneezer
I thought he was joking
When he took up smoking
And now he's also a wheezer.
Silly old geezer!
There once was a cat named Flower
When it rained, all he did was cower
He jumped in a hole
He was covered in coal
Then he screamed, "Don't use me for power!"
There once was a gorilla
Whose name was Camilla
She once had a pipe dream
Of eating much ice cream
But it had to be flavoured vanilla.
Her best friend of course
Was a former racehorse
Who just couldn't place
In any horse race
For which she felt much remorse.
The stench of freedom gone,
Trapped in a cage on water,
Chained to mirrors of their own fate,
Condemned to a slow death - with their own neighbours
Slowly roasting in a human sized oven,
Contrasting to the cold waters beneath -
A new home for those who choose to rest in peace
Trapped like sardines packed in a can,
No hope, no oxygen, no way out,
Bodies become one,
As their flesh seek help,
As their blood leaks out,
Their mouths a drought,
Voices caught by deathly sounds,
Echoes of whips travel around,
A warning - a preview of what is to come when they reach land
There once was a man named Stan
Who used to live in Japan
He ate a dish
Of puffer fish
And spent all day on the can.
A porcupine named Prickly Pete
Did doze in his condo in Crete.
When slumber turned sour,
Unleashing his power,
He skewered both a ghost and his sheet.
There once was a man named Trump
Who looked like a baboon’s rump
But the people don’t care
About his face or his hair
As long as they pay less at the pump.
*It has come to my attention that some have been greatly offended and upset by this limerick. If I have offended any baboons out there, I hereby apologise unreservedly.
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