("A Migration of Ghosts", 2023, original encaustic)
In the morning I lay in the bath
Slowly waking with a cup
My mind drifts half asleep.
Eventually I start to count
All the people I have met and known
Close and distant
Who are gone.
At first it’s an easy couple of handfuls
But then the longer I soak
The more the numbers add up.
Eventually several dozen names and faces
Have marched across my memory
Each one smiling for an instant
Caught in a moment of what I knew them for.
A parade of sorts, young and old
Which once opened to won’t seem to stop.
It’s not like I’m merely an observer either
Safe in the warmth of my bath,
Like them I’m moving inexorably from here
To there
A parade of sorts, each with our own allotted light
Candles big and small, dull or bright
But in the end nothing but a memory
In memoriam we erect in honor
Without a site.
(5/15/26)
Many Many Thanks for the special, precious moments spent together.
For as it has been said, just having touched our lives with each other.
Wish we could spend some more time or times together again.
But Fate is a wild animal with no promise or guarantee of staying forever.
We just have to let it go. Let Go.
I am most grateful for your time. For having met you.
It was nice while it lasted.
Failings are what i owe
Sorrows are what is in tow
Mournings are coming to and fro
But a light shall pierce the shadowed veils woe
Bested by guilt
But drawn to lies
Inner peace escapes
Peace's bonds that ties
Frantic for glory in an over glorified stage
Meddling the words forgetting to turn the page
In sight of the conquest but forgetting that you're free
That with loved ones, here and now is the place to be.
I was listening to our song
the one I wrote to you
and something came to
top of mind
the thing I intrinsically knew
What we had with our first love
that deep trust combined with lust
the thing that bound us together
was conviction
the clearness of how we felt
its now so obvious
But we were young when we first had it
we did not know then how rare it was
to have that bones deep awareness
the thing that made us really care
We loved each other for a lifetime
because of it
you taught me what it was like to really love
I am so glad we got to share it
the last few months you were above
And though you have gone to rest
I know in my bones now
what it feels like to be completely loved
its a base the platform
the foundation
leaves nothing for imagination
the feeling was mutual
and yet indescribable
words don't do it justice
It was for us dear
and though you have gone to rest
I still feel you near
and hold our memories dear
hold our memories dear
and with that, you are still here
What life
without loved ones?
They bring warmth to our life.
Without them life is so barren
Hold them.
Father
Epicenter-
around whom we circle.
In his gravitational pull,
Safety.
Mother
Epitome-
of sweet love and concern.
angel, friend, guide and guardian
Heartbeat.
Siblings
beans of same pod
of same blood with same traits
co- partakers of joy and pain
Blessing
Buddies-
add spice to life
to whom we can confide
grim secrets that can't be divulged.
Support
My mom
gave birth to me.
Unconditional love
I first learned from my beautiful
mother
Sisters,
each so gifted
in their own ways, showed me
the beauty of everlasting
friendship
Cousins,
aunts and uncles,
grandparents and a dad
I wish I’d seen more of gave me
kinship
The love,
fidelity
and companionship of
my spouse produced adored kids and
grandkids
Along
my life path, I
chose more family in
my profound relationships with
close friends
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rugged
Kansas prairie
Her hands rough with dawn tasks
His fingers trace Braille on table
Austere
Schoolhouse
ink and sweat smell
of small hands learning Braille~
a language pressed on waiting skin.
Alive.
Fifteen
Scrappy children
Clarabel, Dulce, John~
syllables hauled up* from the well
sweat, tears
Drought years
Calluses, sweat,
Stiff-backed, and obstinate
Heavy with weight of wheat and words
Courage.
At dusk,
they counted heads
and sang hymns of harvest~
Only thirteen grew tall as wheat.
Strength, faith
*hauled up from the well refers to both a physical action of rescue as well a metaphorical expression of support or accountability.
Give me a kiss under the mistletoe
as
Christmas comes but once a year
gathering friends and family near
and
if X is a kiss is kissmas a word
if it is it’s the sweetest I’ve heard
X marks the spot now Christmas is here
peaceful joyful and full of good cheer
I’ll give you a kiss here under the mistletoe
as
Christmas is the time for giving
bringing good will a time for living
so
let’s put the X in Xmas
with a kiss for Christmas on Christmas Day
fare that's fine hot spiced wine
and a thought for loved ones
so far away
Standing here by the shore
Far beyond my long gaze
I see the earth and sky closer
My memory turns into quiet sea
That reflects through generations
Every thoughts I have is all
For everyone I dearly love whom
Like dew on grass - pure, sincere
And filled with light but now long gone
Time slows down to let me whisper
To my ancestors in the silent hill
Where candles on graves light not for sadness
But remembrance as lanterns of hope
Lighting their souls to heaven's home
Let the God of destiny hear my sadness
As I can't hold my tears to fall
Mix to the waves as additional salting
My intermittent gasping is my deepest sympathy
To my memory to my lost loved ones.
How do you find your loved ones once you get to the hereafter?
How do you navigate your way through the billions of souls
who fill heaven from floor to rafter?
Will an angel come and take you by the hand
and lead you to your loved ones in the promised land?
And will they be surprised to see you?
Or was the date of your reunion already planned?
It will hit you hard
All of the times you could have
Told them "i love you".
North Pole
__________
When my only path is the light,
I want myself,
My ashes,
To be thrown away.
To be raised by the wind,
Strangers made.
So i may be a way,
To the North Pole.
I may unit by the stars,
Making a generation
That knows dirt,
Is not worth.
Maybe a zodiac,
Maybe a sign,
I will be.
Nations pass,
My loved ones pass,
I will see them,
Near me.
We can make a unit,
To new people.
Breaking the pattern,
The cycle,
We made.
Everyone I've ever loved
Has left their mark on my soul
On my body
On my mind.
Every time I speak
Everything I type
Every song I listen to
Everything
Without my loved ones
Who am I?
Without me
They will still be them
But without them
I am nothing
Is it too late?
Too late to be me
Or will I simply be them
Until I die
Being them is preferable
To being me
But I must be me
When his end’s very near
on this earth he holds dear
For what do his loved ones pray
Do they try to allay
the pain that holds sway
Or do they wish for release
~ all suffering cease
Lord show us the way
That we can best celebrate your day,
Should it be fun
For all of us to feel as one?
Or should we be sad
Knowing that we may at times have been a little bad?
May we please drink,
So that into depression we do not now sink,
Aware of course
That too much imbibed turns our chatter into morse.
How about the food,
Or would too much eating be quite rude?
Forget that thought,
As we need consume these lovely things we bought,
Also these folk
Will badly need the victuals for all the
alcohol they soak.
Sorry - now back on track,
Forgive the decorum I so very clearly lack;
But it is a joy
To share this feast with loved ones and on that I shan't be coy,
For while it is your day,
There is one further thing I must now say:
It wouldn't be the same
If we didn't come together in your name.
Thus please forgive any transgression
During what will surely be a long and roudy session,
For we toast but once a year
In the presence of so many we hold dear.
Hence let us raise our glass,
Before yet another Christmas simply pass,
To hail your glorious birth
And such a great excuse for this unbridled mirth.
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