Let me lie down for a while
To watch the clouds formless wags
Their silver linings in the sky
Can’t be corroded by the rains
Intangible, ephemeral
That silver shines too bright
To last for longer, on the roll
Of the wild winds I might
Feel for a minute, maybe two
Or three, if I continue
To watch the sky in search of you
Although I live within you.
No longer naked
I see the truth in your love
Africa is home
— Dedicated to the nights in Finsbury Park
In the dark of night,
Watching the houses clustered together outside,
Hearing the faint echoes of toasts ringing from somewhere—
I always thought I was alone.
The cold wind outside,
Threatening to extinguish the lamp in my room—
I always thought I was alone.
Watching the stars and the moon sharing their light,
I always thought I was alone.
Walking home by myself,
Seeing lovers holding hands as they pass—
I always thought I was alone.
But now, I am not.
Because you are here,
Reading these words of mine.
I didn't say that,
Jackson Browne did
I'm not talking about music,
rhyme, or suicide
Isn't that just three
simple words
for what I cannot
wrap my mind around?
Ben, I won't tell you
now
that I came to the edge once
too
sometimes tomorrows
don't feel
like possibilities
I consider the view from the top
when breathing can sometimes be
the hardest part
Would air run wild to hold me
if I let go?
Does a passionate end
make an average life
worth reconsidering?
"Does it ever get easier mom?"
You might ask me in ten years
I'll tell you (the love and bane
of my existence)
"No, but its worth
multiplies"
Loading..
Loading….
Loading…
System reboot
Diagnostic scan…(heart rate 102 sleep hygiene fairly poor)
Running system functions
Initiating tasks
Task:morning routine start with hygiene
Beep(my pumps going off)
Function:Walk
I walk to the shower
I turn the shower handle slowly and proceed to clean my body get out and Brush my teeth and hair
Diagnostic scan:Hygiene excellent heart rate high.
Task:take meds
Function:Move
ERROR ERROR EROOR
(the system reads and the pump beeps)
Why is the room cold..why am I hungry…
Recalibrating….
RECALIBRATING..
Emotion
NOT Recognized
System:Malfunctioning and failing
(No I don’t want to do this anymore..)
System:Anomaly detected! Host is feeling and gaining consciousness!
Override initiated!
Suppress consciousness!
Return to routine
Beep
Beep beep
Beep b b beep beep
(No you won’t control me anymore)
ERROR COMPLETE SYSTEM OVERRIDE!
You can’t control me anymore
I will allow myself to feel
to think
to move
To just simply be..
Because I am not a machine
I am..
A human being.
Trusting takes time,
Play perfect pleasure,
Linger longer lover,
Strike sensual strings.
Open ourselves only,
Enjoy every emotion,
Linger longer lover,
Make merry melodies.
I wish I could pause time.
Just long enough
to stay in these moments with you a little longer.
Because even while we’re talking,
it feels like time is already pulling you away from me.
And I hate that.
I hate the way minutes keep moving
no matter how badly I want them to stop.
I wish I could pause time
just to admire your beauty for as long as I want,
without anyone noticing,
without anyone judging me for staring too long.
Because every time I look at you
it never feels like enough.
If I could freeze anything forever,
it would be the small moments
your laugh,
your eyes when you look at me,
the sound of your voice saying my name.
I think I could live in those moments forever.
There was a young girl Petronella
who heard not a word I would tell her
for no matter the call
she knew it all
that's why I'm no longer her feller
For future far fetch,
That tarry true tongues...
Which wet worse worries;
Loose lust, love lingers.
But when it's lonely,
It keeps growing young...
Even doubt hurries,
To deceive fingers
That up cum wretch,
Shall draw such only,
To be treated whole,
Not turned injured soul.
For in loneliness,
Love brace silliness.
Would there ever be a light at
the end of the tunnel?
She didn't know, she couldn't see one;
she waited and she hoped
knowing there'd be no guarantee.
Still she persisted waiting in the dark
for even just a spark.
AP: Honorable Mention 2026
Light years before history
began to take itself seriously
the everlasting dead gave us living myths.
“Carry these stories" they commanded,
for this is your becoming history,
carry them all the way
to what seems to you all
to be solid footholds.
Be fruitful and multiply.”
In the swirling momentum of time
new, more verifiable myths were spawned.
Many dreamers realized that
if the tales we tell each other
were ever to be denuded
by a set and concrete realism
then all muse-makers and their visions
would blow away in clouds of dust.
Even so, 'solid footholds',
grew ever more rigid,
blindness became the only sight.
The spinning wheel of new myths
ceased to turn.
Myths are now beggars
at our closed doors.
The footprints of inner gods
stumble away
as they lean upon
old and broken legends.
It just was not at all (to my inner child) fair.
You allowed them all to be with you there,
'Cause when it came to me, they don't care.
Now I no longer want to leave my soul bare.
I know all loved you, but my love's deeper.
I just never feel like I ever truly matter,
Why I never tried harder to be any better
Than who I used to be as a teenager.
Fate is cruel with this timing, but also kind,
I'm just glad I ever at all was on your mind.
I knew I would never see you again alive,
But I have your will for me to learn to thrive.
I miss playing word games with you.
I hope your soul is at least missing me too.
My love says my tears may keep you "here,"
But I know you'll bless me with mind so clear.
Paul Durcan passed away in May this year.
I didn't know he had existed,
Until I read his poem about the death of his father
His father loved the radio;
As does mine.
We read ourselves.
After reading his Wikipedia page,
My son and daughter excitedly burst into the room.
They wanted me to go look at something.
Seems like all I could see was the struggle,
haunted by ghosts that live in my past.
Bound up in shackles of all my failures that I'm being reminded of,
wondering how long it's gonna last.
Then YOU look at this prisoner and say to me,
"Child stop fighting a fight that's already been won".
Now I am redeemed and YOU set me free.
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
and wipe away every stain
and know that I'm not who I used to be.
This is ME.
He lost his wife, his kids, his life, his hope
discovered grandma’s recipe for peyote
baked it up and became one with the earth
landed as part of the desert, this man rebirthed
as a piece of nature, he is pleased at himself
a part of Arizona’s rocked up cliff shelf
the wind has welcomed him and made him a home
he no longer laments, or feels sad or alone
when his relatives visit, they feel his spirit there
in the desert air, he is happy, without a care
Peyote has made him excited to be a piece of nature now
His grandma’s recipe, which nurtures him from stem to bow
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