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Poems by Christopher Allen

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Below are poems written by United Kingdom poet Christopher Allen. If you like the poems, please comment on the work of this poet. Remember, Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poems of Christopher Allen.

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Date PostedPoemTitle# ViewsForm  
05/22/2022 My Son Asked to Read That Story With Flopsy, Mopsy, Cottontail and Pizza 84 Free verse
05/19/2022 My Five-Year-Old-Son Asked Me Might Dinosaurs Come Back One Day 20 Free verse
05/16/2022 I Told My Students My Dad Got The Electric Chair Just To Look Cool 46 Free verse
05/15/2022 I Come From A Long Line of Banjo Players 29 Free verse
05/14/2022 if you're on a space walk with a helmet on you can drown in your own sick 62 Free verse
05/11/2022 i've told my students to refer to me as 'captain' 44 Free verse
05/08/2022 A Colleague Recommended I Read Machiavelli's 'The Prince' To Help Me Discipline My Class 41 Free verse
05/08/2022 I Arrived Home and My Son Told Me He'd Seen a Very Skinny Person Today 39 Free verse
05/03/2022 Please limit poems posted to 10 per 24hr period 48 Free verse
04/30/2022 carry on up uranus 53 Free verse
04/28/2022 There's Noise Coming From My Cranberry Bread 39 Free verse
04/28/2022 My Five-Year-Old-Son is Sad He Can't Run the 100m Under 10 Seconds 119 Free verse
04/26/2022 I Want To Meditate with Roy Orbison 114 Free verse
04/16/2022 We All Croak or I Get Nervous Before Teaching Every Class 236 Free verse
04/15/2022 why does my student have to go to the bathroom during every class 162 Free verse
04/10/2022 I Shared a Kurt Vonnegut Lecture with My Chinese Students and They Beamed 183 Free verse
04/09/2022 there's no such thing as climate change 145 Free verse
03/25/2022 how to win a game of chicken 121 Free verse
03/18/2022 David Letterman's Beard 112 Free verse
03/12/2022 This Poem is a Both Elbows on the Table Read 128 Free verse
03/11/2022 A Bloke I Know Has Told A Girl He's Started Dating That He's An Astronaut 79 Free verse
03/04/2022 Showing Pictures of Brains on a PPT Is Very Powerful and Sexy 46 Free verse
02/19/2022 My Chopsticks Are Talking To Me 240 Free verse
02/15/2022 If Human Waste Was Scattered From the Sky, It Would Turn to Ice and Become A Danger to People 126 Free verse
02/10/2022 Whenever I Think About Poetry, I Want to Fall On My Knees and Weep 210 Free verse
02/07/2022 Somebody Asked the Prime Minister a Question About Washing Machines 160 Free verse
02/05/2022 there's a new teacher starting with us next term called david spunko 150 Free verse
02/03/2022 My Mate Jericho Gave LSD to Zebrafish 156 Free verse
02/01/2022 Bill Gates Wants To Block Out The Sun 149 Free verse
01/30/2022 which nostril do you breathe out of 143 Free verse
01/28/2022 Encourage a Poet By Being The First to Comment 178 Free verse
01/25/2022 I Was Livid The Day They Offered Me The Nobel Prize 130 Free verse
01/23/2022 the PE teacher at work supports 4 teams 133 Free verse
01/08/2022 there's a poet online with the same name as me 243 Free verse
01/01/2022 i dedicate this poem to three imaginary readers looking over my shoulder 193 Free verse
12/27/2021 i'm doing an online mental age test and so select the tab, 'i reject all birthday parties' 415 Free verse
12/25/2021 Shakespeare Interviewed on Jimmy Fallon 196 Free verse
12/13/2021 one hand on the steering wheel, the other pumping away 253 Free verse
12/11/2021 my son wants to talk about tooth decay 243 Free verse
12/04/2021 i cried watching a horse race 165 Free verse
11/27/2021 We Can't Get Out The Car Until We've Thanked Our Four-Year-Old-Son For Helping Us Park It 85 Free verse
11/20/2021 I'm Talking With Two Americans About Walmart 139 Free verse
10/28/2021 Brad Pitt Shouldn't Be In Space 80 Free verse
10/24/2021 there's a bloke in the office setting up his tent 93 Free verse
10/16/2021 I'm Reading A Book About Acting So I Can Pretend To Be Marlon Brando When I Discipline The Class 104 Free verse
10/04/2021 Farming Is A Mistake, Like Tik Tok 148 Free verse
10/03/2021 tips on how to raise a smart toddler 74 Free verse
10/02/2021 after teaching romanticism i want to join the circus 186 Free verse
09/22/2021 after reading a WH Auden poem i asked the class to be silent 100 Free verse
09/06/2021 My Four Year Old Son Is Sad He Can't Do The Pole Vault 265 Free verse
09/02/2021 teaching poetry makes me feel weak 185 Free verse
08/30/2021 the life of a translator 120 Free verse
08/28/2021 goodnight boney-eared assfish 181 Free verse
08/25/2021 AIR CONDITIONING IS EVIL 196 Free verse
08/18/2021 Australia Doesn't Exist 121 Free verse
08/11/2021 the neighbours are suspicious of my sixty-sixty-year-old dad because he wears a leather jacket 111 Free verse
08/05/2021 those lights are burning up my ass 102 Free verse
08/03/2021 how would you teach your poetry 116 Free verse
07/25/2021 My Wife is Mad 233 Free verse
07/22/2021 if you told me my mother was a secret race car driver i wouldn't even be surprised 184 Free verse
07/21/2021 bob dylan's songs come from a pipe 144 Free verse
07/12/2021 SHE WASHES HER HAIR WITH BEER, VINEGAR AND EGG 222 Free verse
07/07/2021 You Can't Smother A Person With A Pillow 206 Free verse
07/05/2021 Mr T Interviewed On Letterman 361 Free verse
07/04/2021 Basically, I'm Miserable 124 Free verse
06/29/2021 HIDE AND SEEK IN THE OFFICE 221 Free verse
06/27/2021 after today's class will you use or store your urine for anything 126 Free verse
06/23/2021 car accident listening to sinead o'connor 121 Free verse
06/23/2021 my selfie stick is longer than yours 111 Free verse
06/20/2021 they found the body this morning 146 Free verse
06/14/2021 Great Dumbledore Quotes 159 Free verse
05/25/2021 if you had to have one Queen song played at your funeral, which would you choose 137 Free verse
04/25/2021 i am sleeping with a bucket 220 Free verse
04/05/2021 only female mosquitoes bite, the male ones just say hello 203 Free verse
03/18/2021 Watching Wrestlemania with a Baptist 317 Free verse
03/08/2021 conducting an imaginary orchestra in the passenger seat 353 Free verse
03/07/2021 there's a bloke in this museum dressed as a cannonball 275 Free verse
02/28/2021 Give Me Back the Ozone Layer 328 Free verse
02/19/2021 46 per cent of japan's population hide when someone rings the doorbell 206 Free verse
02/08/2021 there's a bloke in this cafe slapping his face 249 Free verse
02/03/2021 Mum Loves War 294 Free verse
02/02/2021 Beach Ball in a Suitcase 220 Free verse
02/01/2021 gimme gimme gimme fried chicken 233 Free verse
01/31/2021 the french don't give a 315 Free verse
01/28/2021 there's a bloke in this cafe wearing a cape 269 Free verse
01/26/2021 pretending to be on the phone 401 Free verse
01/25/2021 the cloud appreciation society 323 Free verse
01/24/2021 there's a bloke in this cafe wearing heart-shaped spectacles 273 Free verse

Biography

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Bloggers Photo

there's a bloke in this cafe slapping his face
he's been there doing that for
about twenty minutes...


Christopher Allen's first collection of poetry focuses on fatherhood, odd people in cafes and parallel parking. You'll also find references to certain aspects of life such as love, death, Wrestlemania and Alfred the Butler. It is a journey one should at least try.

Amazon.com: there's a bloke in this cafe slapping his face: a collection of poems eBook: Allen, Christopher : Kindle Store