Sharky suave loan shark got ahold of my great aunt Jean Sue
Loaned her twenty thousand at the rate of eighty-two
Eighty-two percent is way too high I said.
Joke’s on him, she told me. I will soon be dead.
If I was a loan shark
I would fail
some can ask exorbitant prices
I cannot ask for money at all
Some loan sharks demand thirty-percent interest
I would not even be able to ask for my initial investment.
always been shy about asking for repayment.
I would have to gift everyone their money
and I would go broke
it is my way
Always on the Road
Trucker
Tucker
Feed that guy
Bony
Tony
A Boy Scout Always Prepared
Ready
Teddy
He’ll Put You Away
Jailer
Taylor
At the Valentine Date Auction
Gimme
Timmy
Stay at Home Dad
Mommy
Tommy
Our Loan Shark
We owe
Tio
Swear to Him
Promise
Thomas
They Sure Need Improvement
Tanner’s
Manners
Head in the Clouds
Spacey
Tracy
Fibber
Liar
Tyler
Will you . . .
Marry
Terry?
Where is He Anyway?
John Doe
Waldo
Hey, Anyone . . .
You know
Udo?
Bon Voyage
Sail on,
Waylon
Do You . . .
Fancy
Yancy?
The Weirdo
Wiggy
Ziggy
*Image of Philanthropist by Pixabay.
Shark-Thropists
Loan Shark
treacherous jeopardous
sponging laundering doctoring
endowments championships extortioner shylock
fundraising equilibrating compensating
charitable magnanimous
Philanthropist
2022 August 13
On guard
Weapons drawn
Razor edged dialogue
Cutting deep into the last breath of affection
Words spewing like acid,
staining our masterpiece.
Colors melting into gray
bubbling with the sounds of disaster
"Fu*k You's" crescendo
into the odor of hate
Your Teflon tongue spills explanations
with non stick sincerity
A reservoir of "I'm sorrys"
burst into a flood of tears
You become a one woman waterfall
Your love was financed
Compounding interest
Loan shark terms
With a heart that carried a second mortgage
I'm the victim of foreclosure
Left empty, blindsided ,cold cocked
From your drive by lie
Our love now crippled and maimed
Searching for a handicapped parking place
Those feeling unsecured,
who be in brokered deal need,
listen to this vary interesting message carefully
I got what you don’t have,
but what you want financed desperately
You most certainly can get it from me,
this promissory promise
gets my profit lending approval
My actuary guarantee ... you can bank on it!
I’m a giver of usury
And I take no pleasure
in taking your vital possessions —
The necessary things you and yours
need to survive
But I most assuredly will repossess them
should you not comply
To the fine print agreement
that was co-signed on the dotted line
I’m a giver of usury
For every dollar you borrow from me,
I will want two returned,
vary quickly
I am bound by the loan shark code of honor,
to bite the hand
which fail to repay me
This is the default judgment
agreed upon by you, with much debt gratitude
Signed in sweat and blood
to receive the money
In the long run,
I made you so short-term happy
In deed, I am a giver of usury
A cold night on a dim lit back street
slinks a demon you don't want to meet
He is looking for a specific kill
for someone that forgot to pay their bill
His boss does not give mercy to any
even if one is only short a penny
So remember not to ever get a loan from the devil
because he does not take kind to those who do not settle
Get a job, Get a job, Get a job
Well, I have two and need a third
Went to college and got the same jobs that I could of gotten out of high school
Student loan shark wants his money
Rent man wants his money
Grocery man wants his money
If I pay student loan shark , my rent and food will suffer
So, try to dodge student loan shark awhile longer
$7.25 minimum wage.
This meat in the store is over $7.25 a pound
Guess Ramon noodles will be my dinner companion
Work, work, work
Working has kept me just over broke
A man ripped me off, he sold me a retired race horse that had been gelded.
He neglected to tell me that and my wife became so furious that I got belted.
The horse that I bought won every time, he never lost a race.
The seller ripped me off so I used a brick to smash his face.
That SOB was able to jip me out of twenty grand because I'm not very bright.
But that brick made him so ugly that he can't get a date on a Saturday night.
I planned to make a lot of money by using my horse for breeding.
I borrowed the twenty grand from a loan shark and now a hospital is what I'll be needing.
I'm broke, I have no money to pay the loan shark back.
The loan shark has arrived and he's ready to attack.
He's showing me no mercy, he's ignoring me as I beg.
He has broken several of my ribs and both of my legs.
I have some advice and you should really take my word.
If somebody tries to sell you a race horse, give him the bird.
I don't believe in high heeled shoes
Reality TV or fake news
I don't believe credit card companies
Are anything but legal loan shark sleeze!
I don't believe in being cool
As half as much as I used to
I don't trust the suit and tie
Or that organic food is worth the buy
I don't believe birthday cake
Will add an ounce to my weight
I don't think yellow and blue make green
(It's more teal, in my esteem)
I don't like gift registries
Get your own fancy Keurig coffee!
I don't believe that vitamins
Are better for you than a grin:)
Found It Hard To Believe
Backs of others Trump liked to stroke
Sold us down river when we went broke
Went down an avenue to play in a park
Supporters were eaten by a loan shark.
With himself hard time trying to grapple
Said people in Phiadelphia who ate scrapple
Were found drowned in a swimming pool
Which was all full of mush loose stool.
Local loser supporters gathered around
To hear New York accent an awful sound
King Kong was seen on Trump Tower
Wanted his picture taken by Matt Lauer.
(Also, we heard that Trump went bonkers;
Tower must be transferred to Younkers.)
Trump liked his food served localized
Fell on floor and server was severely criticized;
Trump as usual really had been bluffing;
Us with turkey crap he started stuffing.
We finally arrived at rear end of story
His blood and guts were in their glory
From superfluous sinful stories he told;
Were so many blamed them on Manifold.
How do you fold up a manifold sin
without being short sheeted? Good
question.
James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Proverbial Retired Veteran and Poet
James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Finkle Rat and Derby Cat
Opened up a specialty shop
Which was running rather smoothly
Till kids teeth began to rot
For what it was they sold were
Candy apples, Sugar Cubes, and Lemon Drops
With Fizzie Soda to make their quota
On the loaner they had got
You see the latest shipment of Fizzies
Came from the loan shark Marco Mole
To save themselves a buck or two
Our naive friends both sold their souls
And Marco doesn't care about
Any kids or their rotten teeth
Cause he also owns a piece of Charlie Cockroach
The dentist down the street
Epidural Who Was a Girl Squirrel
Epidural was the name of a girl squirrel
Who up her tail always likes to curl
Even during periods when in between
You might see her looking real mean.
Some squirrels are actually calmer then others
Even though they may be sisters and brothers
Who on parents have developed a dependency
And they each end up with a similar tendency.
Instead of loan shark become an alone squirrel
Who doesn't like foolish cats who are often feral
Being fastest both are trying to determine
Can they become slowed down by too much vermin?
Each Godforsaken fool went their separate way
Discovering that not only crime but cats don't pay
Living at their own convenience and convention
Never paying any squirrels the slightest attention.
James Thomas Horn, Retired Veteran
Quickly approaching 2,000 poems.
Also, need a category for squirrel.
I was born in the black forest of dusty streets
To work the scattering fields of menial means
To a destiny paved with my broken glass of shattered dreams
The dust blinding me to nowhere
I entered the highway of life on a coffin-on-wheels
Punctured, disadvantaged...I walk through life barefoot
Reminded that life is a death sentence on borrowed time
And I only exist by the grace of chance of crooked dice
I watch the youth risk drowning for breadcrumbs
Swimming the loan shark infested shallow stream
Over the bank, poverty is a wicked old man, awaiting
Selling his fake pearls of wisdom like the Candyman
He took off his false teeth
To undress his smile and speak the truth I seek
That I will soon drop the condemned baton I carry
Apollo Creed was the master in the ring.
Most fighters thought facing him was a foolhardy thing.
To defend his title, who was he to fight?
There were some contenders, but none of them seemed right.
From the ranks of unknowns, Apollo chose a fighter.
Practically nobody knew this Italian-American amateur.
This street smart Philadelphian worked as a meat packer.
For a loan shark, he was an enforcer and collector.
Out of some possibilities, this one looked right.
In front of his hometown crowd, Rocky would be in the spotlight.
Given a shot at the title, Apollo was the one he would fight.
What happens in the fight? Do you want to see?
All I have to tell you is watch the movie.
Inspired by the 1976 film “Rocky”
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