I can look for caring love in your eyes,
You can pretend to hold onto thine YES,
And watch me do all tricks to your surprise...
If it worths a try off approaching mess.
I can unlock your heart and beat its pulse,
To stop for check on a new proposed take,
And bear a turn to signal mind's impulse...
If it makes out for WE not I's lone ache.
I can dance with you in the rain with joy,
You can worry about the weather's storm,
And wait till I calm what hoo-ha deploy...
If it gets to make your body so warm.
I can play with all your toys but not time,
You can be nice too; love is not a crime.
The wheels fell off my thingamajig
as a thingy
came loose in the whachamacallit
or perhaps it was the doodad
on the wotsit
which was the cause to stall it
and it'll take a few odds 'n' sods
plus a new doodah
and some hoo-ha
to make the gizmo
or doohickey
go again so
not to take the mickey
but prep the whole whoop-de-do
to look like new
I'll probably plop
for purchasing the gubbins
or bits and bobs
in a thingamabob
shop
and possibly more
at a whatnot
store
Choosing which shade of white,
drives most people up the wall.
There's at least
152 shades of white
to choose from.
Despite being well: "Just White"
It's the subtle hue, blah blah,
hubris and hoo-ha,
that comes to the fore.
White can be darker, lighter,
cooler or warmer,
extra bright or dim,
so so cool, boring or subdued.
"Wind's Breath", "Extra White"
"Moonlight White at Night".
How can you choose?
It's the paints position, lighting, shade
and context that makes
the decision so complex.
Any color tinge, even within plain stark white
Can evoke a profound emotional reaction.
“Pristine” whites feel frigid cold, like ice.
Tiny tints of yellow, orange and red
feel "happy", “warm” or “sunny.”
Subtle slurps of green or blue
feel "natural" and "homely".
But, beware my friend,
Never ever choose:
"Off White" or
"Shades of Gray"
Heaven Forbid!
We placed a pine box casket on a sawhorse table.
There weren’t but little notice, did as best we able.
I watched the flowers wilting in the heat of August.
It seemed a shameful squander given what they cost us.
She was a stoic widow, though a might diminished.
She clutched a carved wood angel, one he never finished.
Then came a stovepipe preacher, smelled of hair slick tonic.
He kept his manner formal and his speech laconic.
It was a simple service in a smoke wood setting,
Another taproot sermon I’d be soon forgetting.
He hammered nail to cross the way the Good Book reckon,
“All sinners need God’s mercy when The Judgment beckon.”
He spoke some other hoo-ha ‘bout “The Lord's forgiveness,”
And I just shucked it off to get about my business.
I might be pissin’ sawdust when it come to prayer,
But when they toss on vittles, count me first hoss there.
Baloney, bumfuzzle, fiddledeedee
Taradiddle, gardyloo, snickersnee
Gobbledygook, gardyloo, tickle me,
Hullabaloo, cattywampus hogwash hoo-ha
Claptrap, collywobbles ballyhoo brouhaha!
~A Brian Strand 4 or 5 line contest.
There once was dude named Vance
Who walked around town with no pants
Caught a chill down below
Stood erect, and then froze
Old Vance needed a Hoo Haa transplant
D'ya know what flips my flipper?
yup! you guessed, a bevy of beauties
hanging on to my body parts
uh, massaging my cheeks (oops, sorry)
uh, massaging my extension (oops, again)
look I'm trying... did I just hear you say
“yes, VERY trying”
just a normal male stud with
an overactive out-of-control masculine libido
we're all the same eh, and you thought
“no, this guy is more refined!!!”
ha! fooled ya... I'm just the same over-sexed
divine specimen of a male stud
that you've read about in that dime-store
novel you read while sitting on the throne
okay okay I see some wee ones present
what I meant to say,
“I'm just the same over-vexed
divine specimen who just needs a nudge”
(you know, like my hoo-ha, that is)
okay, my flipper is flopping again
hang on while I try to calm it down!
uh... my mind... have you seen it lately
it's around here somewhere!
oh my... what the hell am I trying to say!!!
oh, oh, they're here to take me back again!
Plucky, we see the pond
With dervish eyes we bond
Dive in the great beyond
And ooh la la
He thinks she’s quite a dish
Handsome’s her one true wish
Into the sheets they swish
With great oompah
Like thrashing out of sea
Steamy fish feel so free
As who they’re meant to be
Waves wild hoopla
Of two young shades of gray
Whipped up, the seas obey
Oui! Oui! Risqué-parlez*
Midlife’s booya!
The calming of the deep
Married love never cheap
Embraced hearts fall asleep
After hoo-ha
3/15/2018
Mick Talbot’s Violette Poetry Contest
*What’s love without a little French ;)
Pronounced: wee wee risk-ay par-lay
Oui - Yes
Risqué - verging on impropriety or indecency (bedroom banter)
Parlez - Speak
Booya - urban dictionary: hell, yeah
Coffee hot, coffee cold, doesn't matter I am sold
Ain't nuttin' yummier, cept a filly unclothed
Now whoa, hold on a jiff
Did you say a sexy young dish
Stroking my hoo ha getting me started on the road
Hoo Ha or pee pee
Trouser or skirt
Football or Barbie
What can it hurt
Pink or blue
Stiletto or flat
Pantie or brief
Where are you at?
Sugar and spice
Snips and snails
Flip it over
Always comes up tails
Tough Tom
Nelly Nancy
All made up
But never fancy
Child of love
Love my child
Take it as it comes
Mild or wild
Understanding construct
And legislating depravity
Don't always side
With what we can see
Jane maybe John
And John maybe Jane
But knowing how to love
Is what keeps me sane.
General contractors
For gender construct
Put up drywall
Based on duct
But I want my house
Different from constraint
One that welcomes all
Free from social restraint.
The wine & I
Poem
Lionel Derbyshire
Hoo-ha !! cheers
The wine and I tonight
A racket we will clamor
Talk is cheap .. hic
WINE:
“I am Chardonay
Was once a fruit on a vine
Now I am a dry white”
ME:
“I thought you were
Risling or maybe Pinotage
Sorry are we in the month of May
Hic .. or is this my third glass”.
WINE:
“Your third bottle now
I'm running on empty
I‘m better with turkey
So I am wanted”
ME:
“Who you calling turkey !
I'll have you smoked
Bloody nerve you (s)wine !”
WINE:
“oh you talk ..
Then try me with salmon”
ME
“someone going where ?”
WINE:
“not what I said”
ME:
“what now ..?”
WINE
“i am i said
the barman’s finest
Best with fish”
ME:
“wish for ?”
WINE
“Oh dear …
Waited on a rack
So long…
And now
I get you “
ME:
“ hic ..
Mind your own...
Business comma hic”
WINE:
“ I am the barman’s finest”
ME:
“how dare you call me
the crow’s nest”
hic
There once was an old dude, quite a prude
Never drank never smoked up, never crude
Till one fine day
A girlie did play
With his hoo ha, sure changed the old dude's mood!
© Jack Ellison 2013
Endangered Species
This one is true
No tongue-in-cheek wink
The poor Hoo-ha crab
Is becoming extinct
They say that the women
Trimmin’ today
Have left the poor Hoo-ha crab
No place to stay
They need warmth and protection
From a natural forest
Or they’ll soon go the way
Of the late Brontosaurus
The poor Hoo-ha crabs
Will never do well
Till women revert
And go au-nat-chur-el
Crabs want to go back
To when women were lax
No pruning of landscapes
No Brazilian wax
A time when the Hoo-ha crab
Multiplied fast
A time for the Hoo-ha crab
Now in the past
And before you jump on me
I know that it’s true
A guy can get Hoo-ha crabs
Just as easy as you
For men now have taken to
Manscapes and trimmin’
At the whim and the pleasure
Of Hoo-ha trimmed women
Note:
Doctors now say
Hoo-ha crab incident
Has drastically dropped
About 80 percent
Don't know about you but I love to sneeze
A good one will bring me down to my knees
Blasting my head right off of my neck
A feeling that makes me an absolute wreck
Shivering on down to my little ole toes
You certainly must know how that all goes
Feels so damn sexy I might hasten to add
A sensation that drives me totally mad
Sure rather sneeze than peel potatoes
Prefer sneezing to playing with Play-Doh
Nicer than poking a sharp stick in my eye
Not quite as painful as a dart in my thigh
Imagine your hoo-ha being caught in a vice
Can't be very pleasant, sure can't be nice
Wanna sneeze till I'm rolling on the floor
Gimme that feeling, want more, more, more
But don't tell my friends I beg of you please
Kinda embarrassed about loving to sneeze
© Jack Ellison 2012
Wise owl at his post
"hoo, ha, hoo...hoo, hoo, hoo, hooooo"
thus he gives a hoot!
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