I freely admit and hereby disclaim
when writ 'twas a pitiful rhyme
and all those moments
will be lost in time
like tears in rain
in Spain
they stay
mainly in the plain
or so they say
and yet are washed away
down the drain
never to be shed
or seen again
I hereby attempt to satisfy poplar demand
as best I possibly can…
Seeking more creative ways to stop porch thieves?
Here are some more in which to believe
Hang those dirty diapers on a clothesline
right above the package ~ this works just fine
For extra effect, make sure the diapers have been sitting in a pile
for quite a long while…
Here’s one that has those wannabee thieves running away
Post a ‘Beware of Skunk’ sign not far away
And this concludes my tips this time
for which I ask nothing, not one thin dime
Girl, you remind me of yesterday,
I can recall the moment I said my prayer,
Asking God for a better partner in my life,
Luckily, I got one, I hereby call you mine.
Forever is just the start, it's you and me,
The love we share is real, I say lucky we,
Despite our differences, I still get lost in your smile,
For you, my love, I do it all willingly.
It's you, no one else, the reason I'm happy,
I vow to give you happiness and no worries,
Through the days I've known you, you're the best,
As I wish to wake up daily with you next,
I learnt and realised that I'm blessed,
You are my answer, for life is a test,
What more can I ask for when I've got you?
I promise not to look elsewhere....it's you through and through.
You're the seed I've planted deep within my heart,
The one I nurture gently from the very start,
With every sunrise, my love helps you bloom,
And together we'll flourish through every season to come.
After careful and thorough-going consideration
of all the candidates’ experience and qualifications
I hereby nominate for the office of President
the best individual available ~ me
There once was a man named Trump
Who looked like a baboon’s rump
But the people don’t care
About his face or his hair
As long as they pay less at the pump.
*It has come to my attention that some have been greatly offended and upset by this limerick. If I have offended any baboons out there, I hereby apologise unreservedly.
Under your balcony
I sing for you an aria
and hereby do profess my love to you
AP: Honorable Mention 2026
O, Glory Be for Poetry
Just posted number nine-thousand
So, I hereby give thanks
for Poetry Soup’s website
~ to house ‘em in
Still working on my PhD. at the age of forty-three
though as a teaching assistant, all my schooling’s free
The problem is my thesis, I change it every year
for approval from my advisor, it must rhyme with his fav’rite beer
Would last year’s subject tickle your tibia?
“One-cell diets of 18th-century fireflies
that migrated to the north of Namibia”
But this year has me spellbound, the thesis is so perverse
It focuses on presidents – from Monica fellating Clinton
to what Lincoln did in his hearse
So, you are hereby invited to view my forthcoming dissertation
~ snicker and smirk at Oval Office ruination
~ NoBenny Fitu Sosighety
Emancipation of poverty laws
All non surplus delivered posts in native
Landscape are hereby confined
Loss of reserves is significant
3795 characters left
These messages are being captured
and archived in compliance with
the Presidential Records Act or the
Federal Records Act
I hereby decline
to speak my mind
You might publish the news
of my orthodox views
Although
it’s a hard row to hoe
a rough furrow to harrow
and a tough trench to plough
there’s many a meadow to mow
I hereby avow
and tho' it may be news to you
farmers have the need
to sow their seeds
where milkmaids milk the cows
swineherds feed their sows
and shepherds have their pie
and eat it too
in Slough now
The mulberry fell to its knees;
in Smith-Gilbert Garden, it prays,
near the moss-stone steps;
and I look on, in curiosity.
It was an oddity, but I learned
of its plight. In sorrow, we make
it right, a great fall onto infrangible ground.
Like a bonsai tree, twisted.
Listed, like a ship at storm,
but sailors will never use nets,
to cast, for silent butterflies;
In July, they gather.
Hereby is Summer magic,
buzzing bees, buckeyes, swallowtails
and painted ladies (sailors swear by them).
Yes, all the prayers needed.
Unimpeded, the mulberry fell,
whilst fluttering wings that disappear
in season’s cold, bring merriness,
there’s little hope for thee.
Still, we visit the treasure that bows,
climb the steps, for a further glimpse.
This garden is where I stroll
among the butterflied tree.
To the queen of my heart, I hereby decree
That I'll be the best man I can be.
I promise to give you a long, juicy kiss
And a humongous hug to the woman I miss.
I'll cook your favorite meal, help you with the chores,
Buy you things from the 99 Cent Store;
Comfort you when things go wrong,
Serenade you with a beautiful song;
Be there for you every day and night,
And let our romantic fantasies take flight.
I'm so happy that you're my soulmate;
My everlasting love for you won't let me wait.
Ever since the first day we met,
My heart soared like a jumbo jet.
I'd give you the world if you were mine.
What do you say? Will you be my Valentine?
I hereby nominate Donald Trump for the title of 'Honorary Jew'
~ The world only hates Israel the way it hates you
Drifting face across fulfilled lives, how many lies do I see inside?
I see without visual, drowning in endeavours.
I hear within silence, the blinding numbness adhere to my veins.
The silence enriches my absent thoughts, swallowing me whole into the jaws of fate.
What’s holding me captive in this divine existence? The monotony of being etching away my compounding resolve.
Saturated with doubt, with guilt and remorse. A futile endeavour to attempt release from the clutches of madness.
Altering ley lines to divert my path, digesting the inedible and finding purpose within.
Disturbances not overcome but overgrown with enamel concealing the ugliness left behind.
The path forward we travel, onward we look. Hereby is the contingence to survive. Survival is key, survival is free, survival is not where I want to be.
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