I have a bad habit
Everything I love in someone
Can easily be loved in someone else
I never write about how funny she was
Or
How she would shuffle cards
It's always about her eyes and her smile
I write down what I see first
I don't spend enough time on what really is beautiful
These poems turn into nothing more than a canvas themselves
For all we know I could be writing to myself
And not the girl that was so pretty
I was blind to how beautiful she really was
Beautiful
Like her eyes
I have a bad habit…
Wherever I may hop
and plop them down
in summer my hind feet
are a shade of brown
yet in winter white
which leave large footprints
each and every night
but then by day
I'll have you know
they give the game away
as is my inborn habit
here there and everywhere
for at best I'm less a rabbit
more a snowshoe hare
I offered you a piece of my heart,
and you dreamed of the day our hands might finally meet.
But when my account expired,
when my voice could no longer reach you,
you turned to anger
and cast me aside—
though you knew it wasn't my fault,
though you knew we were prisoners too,
locked inside a cage built by others,
imprisoned with our own love.
By the time you understood,
it was already too late.
Perhaps the knot in my chest,
the bitterness and the ache,
would never have let me forgive you.
Or perhaps it was simply fate
that the taste of your lips
would belong to someone
who never truly loved you—
someone who lays his head upon your breasts
only out of habit.
Soft dawn
no longer you
steam curls from my cup
palms pause on the chipped mug edge
still here
Each day
I set one down
memory moulds its shape
pen scratches, ink hardens slowly
again
Outside
light rain falls
waning petals drum the glass
shoes splash across stone puddles
lingering
Rooms learn
my slow outline
shelves echo my careful tread
clothes folded, dishes stacked, life
counterfeit
My breath
keeps a tally
poems slip forward past my hand
past the hands that fold, sweep, and lift
still on
(“Outside Looking In Merit Badge”, 2011, original oil)
In a dream
The repeated pattern of my own conditioning
Like a Groundhog’s Day set on reset
Reveals to me the futility of the human condition
Habitually doing the same things
While expecting different results;
As Einstein said, THE definition of insanity.
Yet again and again we also wake
With at least the hope of sanity,
The freshness of not being habitually driven
Until we once again start to do
And the conditioning of all these lifetimes
Kicks in again, as we
Without thought, without effort
Take the easy path of least resistance.
(11/24/25)
Elmer Fudd had a habit
He hunted for a Silwy Wabbit
Bugs Bunny was his name
What's up Doc... was his fame
Wile E. Coyote
Had been smoking peyote
So, he thought it looked funny
Elmer Fudd shooting at Bugs Bunny
My Habit
You say I eat a lot—
But a lot eats me.
I got stress I can’t tame,
Hate that drives me insane.
So many therapists I can't name,
Yet still love you and can't cause you shame.
Before you judge me based on my order,
Saying I have an eating disorder—
Ask:
What the hell in this world is in order?
You don’t see the hate,
The anger,
The envy I swallow with my food.
You just say, “Nah, dude.”
You think I don’t already know
You’re ashamed of my belly?
But I don’t care lately,
'Cause food tells me: “Take it easy.”
It’s not that I can’t control my eating.
It’s just your drama,
Your perfect bodies—
They make me overthink.
And I hate that.
But I can’t scream...
So I overeat.
So next time you say,
"Here’s something small to eat,"
I’ll pass—
Because I overheat.
Look, sugar…
I love you.
But this?
This is better than a trillion tattoos.
'Cause you stress me out with everything you do.
I hope you understand if you love me too.
So what do you say...
A buffet for two?
By Little One and Nova
"Holey all over,
seen better days,
worn out and threadbare,
can't mend its ways,
with drink spills, food stains,
rips, rents and tears,
not worth keeping,
a sad state of affairs,
its time has come,
over and done,
that's one bad habit,”
so said the nun.
I'm still alive cos living’s my bad habit
And like a bird is used to feel the saving sky
I’m used to live on autopilot so won’t rub it
With multiplying the essential reasons why
But disappointment gets too huge to handle
Got to bargain myself a little beggar mind
To think more highly of the immigration ramble
As if I’m going something worth to find
The owners of the world are getting funny
Prescribing me the way of life that suits
Their plans to know how well I spend my money
How deeply I respect some nation’s roots
To meet their needs, I’m into consolations
I’m on the sunny side of every street and lane
Let’s make a deal, I’ll spread your cheap sensations
If you help me that beggar mindset to attain.
We met, we talked, a bond took shape,
Feelings grew at a gentle pace.
Then love began, so soft, so deep,
His voice, the song my heart repeats.
Love turned to need like air & light,
A name I whisper every night.
& slowly, need started running through my veins,
Habit carved in joy & pain.
Some habits heal, & some leave a scar,
Some stay with us, though they are far.
A little sweat will go a long way
Exercise keeps your heart healthy
And your muscles strong
And helps in losing weight
Eat green and leafy vegetable
Eat organic and juicy fruits
Drink water in hourly interval
Bath everyday, pray and rest well.
It hides deep within us,
A stranger lurking behind a veil,
It emerges at will, seizing the moment,
We become mere puppets on strings.
It’s the night that encroaches upon the day,
A dusk that awakens its hidden elements.
December 27, 2024.
My heart and mind don't align
I yearn for dreams to yield but vegetate
Putting off things for the very next day
My willpower is always at its lowest
Laziness floods my habits and goals
Until I drown in unsuccess.
The bed, so invitingly soft
It tempts me into a languid slumber
While a half-finished coffee mug
Sits cold on my window sill
My mobile phone, a dangerous distraction
As I scroll hours through social media when awake
Squandering my precious time away
My mind keeps dwelling on the past
Inundating memories of joy, sorrow and regrets
Serving no purpose
Then I slid into an eternity of pleasant thoughts
Of how to spend the next day of my life.
Everyday we repeat the same process becoming creatures of habit
From “I love you” to a habit
And old habit melts away
Till you doubt if you had it
Ever since that summer day
Like green leaves turn gold and brown
To be scattered everywhere
So are we, when coming down
( “he’s not there”, “she’s not there”)
“I am honest every moment”
You can say, but so can I
Honesty won’t ease the torment
Without love there’s no blue sky
No green leaves, and for tomorrow
Comes the same another day
Everything degrades in sorrow
Even sorrow hides away
Feigned composure brings detachment
Only urgent things remain
Changeless, bolstered as attachment
To the usual evening rain
Day is done, so how it was?
Average, happy, boring, nice?
Have you thought to speak out words
That you keep inside your eyes?
As for me, day was so bleak
That I couldn’t see you, dear
Just another day to shrink
For the night time to appear.
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