A young fellow back east in Lahore
was making out with his girl on the floor.
Said she "This floor is too hard.
Let's go out in the yard
and in front of the neighbors next door!"
I hear your shallow breathing
Groans and sharp inhales
Of oxygen through your teeth
Wet shoes at the 7-11 and the Chinese Zodiac
I hear, “Can I get a room key?”
Slamming doors and slapping skin
More groans and one more door
Then ours
I hear, “She’s better than you,”
And “I’m tired of hearing about it,”
And, “You leaving was the best thing
“To ever happen to me.”
So when you sit there
Telling me I’m the woman of your dreams
And that I shouldn’t believe what I am hearing
I hear you
Immodest elemental,
cloud of sin full vapor,
you stretch as a taffy,
bunched anti demure
Witch of the winds,
you -graph a pillow walk,
billboard drone of stalk
Joining peepshow in precarious ways,
your nefarious stay,
akin to shadows on the wall,
putting on a provocative play
In the depths of skyllines embrace,
where mind blows dance on silvery face,
woven by cottony lace
Is silver lining, your pockets,
as you sell your wares
of wet sprocket
Get a room!
Or a shade,
Or a pole, if you cannot refrain
from your billowing, soft, delicate,
supple, ways
Confusing walk
It was the longest street in the world shops on each side
selling salami and cheese depending on the shop, the same product
had a different name proclaiming to be the best.
Today the shops are empty, save for a few dogs, people are tired
of salami and cheese, you can’t fool them with a fancy name hinting
they are Italian made in Livorno; what a fraud!
In shops, there were cheese parties for mice sitting pretty nibbling
the stray dog and I were not invited; we kept on walking in the hope
of finding a butcher selling hamburger meat and dog bones.
Where the street ended in another country consisting of sheep
clog dancing shepherds, my sister had a hotel, I could get a room
In the basement, but preferred to board a clipper sailing to Japan.
You've heard the song, “I'm In The Mood For Love” I assume
Got a new one, “I'm In The Mood To Multiply” I'll get a room
A good time you're in for
Hope your bum don't get sore
We'll fly to the heavens, you'll feel like you're in a typhoon
"We're going on vacation," my husband said. I gave him a big kiss.
Time away from home and housework was something I wouldn't miss.
"Let's check into our hotel," I cried, when I heard thunder.
"Which hotel?" My husband asked. I looked at him with wonder.
"You made reservations, didn't you?" I asked with a sense of doom.
The town over-flowed with people. We'd never get a room.
We drove by nice hotels and inns. "No vacancy", signs read.
We were in the dingy part of town when he turned the car around.
There was a lit sign above a doorway, a room was to be found.
A shirtless man said, "Money first", I gave my man a frown.
He whispered, "It's a flophouse." I didn't like that term.
The look I gave my husband was meant to make him squirm.
And as I glared, I truly hoped that it would cause him pain.
Coming with no reservation, was really quite insane.
I vowed if we got home alive, I'd never leave again.
The panda bear is cute but also shy.
So have you ever stopped to wonder why?
It goes back to that time in history
when all God’s creatures sailed upon the sea!
Old Noah built an Ark, which two by two
each kind of animal was led into.
A pair of pandas got put in the middle
of that boat! But pandas are not little!
The pandas, since they could not move about,
would sometimes bump into some creature’s snout.
Poor Mrs. Panda had no privacy
and felt too flustered when she had to pee!
Poor Mr. Panda, lost his wife’s affection,
and sadly afterwards, lost his ********.
The pandas, once they got off of the Ark,
were somehow able to regain their spark.
They ended up in China, learning to
“get it on again” and eat bamboo!
But now they face extinction once again,
thanks this time to crimes of modern men.
Everything is now against the norm.
Forced together, pandas can’t perform.
Such failure, like it was in Noah’s day,
must just be part of Panda’s DNA.
Let’s hope that we’ll be hearing very soon
the pandas being told to ‘get a room!”
This was originally meant for some Noah's Ark contest
that never got judged. So here it is now for YOU, PD!!
For we as singles and couples have a tendency to pass judgement
upon individuals who don't do exactly what we do for
instance
Individuals on the outside have a tendency to see other people
kissing and holding hands and we automatically say they should get a room
and/or
When individuals see a man feeding a woman at dinner or at the movies then individuals
have a tendency to respond with a comment of her fingers are not broken and/or that woman must have him whipped instead of embracing the fact that he is treating her like a QUEEN
as she rightfully deserves.
If individuals /couples realize that not everything that works for others will work for them and instead of criticizing other peoples relationship they should be taking out the time to find their own solution to make their relationship work.
Be it may if every relationship takes the time out to figure out what works for them more relationships would work.
He was right to be suspicious
She was acting suspiciously
So he followed her that morning
To see what he might see
She didn’t go towards her office
She took the road to the ocean shore
And pulled up to a motel where
They had never been before
He watched her get a room key
Then go to a cabin with an ocean view
He was hurting so much inside himself
He didn’t know just what to do
He saw another man knock on the door
Looking tall and younger than him
He loaded the pistol from inside his car
As she let the stranger in
He shot her once aside the head
Him twice in the face
Then turned the pistol upon himself
Making a full mess of the place
The police found a cell phone in her hand
The stranger left a bible on the table
The husband’s cell phone was on the front seat of his car
Displaying 1 voice message on the label
“Hi Honey, I know it’s a month early but … Happy Anniversary. I got us a terrific little room at this quaint motel down in Seaside and found a nice young preacher who said he would perform a service to reaffirm our vows. When you get this message, come down and join me. See you soon … Love you.”
There once was a mad cow named Luner
Who loved Santa’s reindeer named Donder
She bought herself antlers
And a star map of Cancer
Her lift off was quite a disaster!
She mooooooooed “I really do need gas.”
Donder winked at her as he passed.
Letting go of a load
With antlers on hold,
She rose off the ground at last.
Now, Ole Santa, he saw silly Luner
He Ho Ho’ed “What is next flying tuna???”
Donder “Your grounded!
Your lust is unfounded
Get a room you two honeymooners!”
I walk a little and talk a lot
I sing unlike a bird and tease a moth
I trip on the stair yet remember not to bare!
I saunter like a lady but stumble on a chair
Unlike my friend I tickle my own toes
Then suddenly I see this ant up my nose
I blow it off but alas its fast stuck
I forgot to wipe the treacle, bad luck!
So I sit and lament on the days events
Hoping and praying I'll get a room to rent!