I find I regret less and less, especially when I've lost my own respect.
Everyone seems to avoid me; no one wants to be near.
I feel more and more lifeless, longing to thrive but trapped inside this deprived prison of my mind.
My thoughts are a puzzle all because I didn't forsee inserting this neurodiversity which beings me to my knees begging please, crying for mercy, questioning my voice has gone.
Where's my opinion? Where's my place in this neuro dilemma?
Just remember, I hear everything, I feel something.
I regret staying in this town where I've been made to feel like a fool.
I have no rhyme or reason for why my heart keeps beating.
I see myself fading away, feeling less like a man, less like a human.
These neuro chains pull me down to the oceans depths.
Oh! To wish of a far-away land,
Where flowers of all colours bloom without fear,
The colours that our eyes can meet,
Of all the dreams we left unseen.
Oh! To wish of a serene icy lake,
Where the ice sparkles at the morning rays,
The rays of sunshine we beseeched,
Of all the people we left behind in memories.
Oh! To wish of a majestic forest,
Where the canopies are taller than our hopes,
The leaves protecting our inner souls,
Of all the rumination we cannot forsee.
Oh! To be so wishful in existence,
Where the whims of emotions rush a breeze,
The wind reminding us of our liveliness,
Of all in this world we can imagine and be.
I watch the sun set upon other lands...
Silence becoming all the louder...
As this herb burns between my hands...
I forsee the future, I am a dreamwalker.
"No poem can encompass mother's love in its entirety"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
None can be as loving as a mother
She will pray for you, stay awake for you
No one can serve selflessly like mother
Ever helpful walks extra mile for you
She will ensure you are always well fed
If needed will feed you with her own hands
Will never eat until you are well fed
Your hungry stomach she just cannot stand
Looking at just face she can read your mind
She can forsee your problems in advance
Your happiness is always in her mind
With foresight will warn you well in advance
No one else can love you like a mother
Like her you will never find another
Date: 10/5/2020
N/A in Love Sonnet contest by John Hamilton
Judged 10/19/2020 10:52:00 AM
An endless emptiness lays before me
Shadows drift on my horizon's line
What could have been is now my life's debris
In a realm of if, by the world's design
When we danced our last in rays from moonlight
The time used was to fulfill love's sorrow
Days were so fleeting like dreams from the night
They lingered in the heart of tomorrow
I question the mind of what could have been
And chase warm shadows from a sunset lost
I'll pluck the deep wound from my heart's peeled skin
And judge the pain inflected by its cost
Time spins and our passion could not forsee
Perhaps on day, we'll find a way to be
contest If only, maybe
8/2/20
The last Acorn, I stand forlorn
and alone, yet firm and strong
God's kindness filled in me, all do adorn
The last Acorn, I stand forlorn
I protect those who keep me airborne
granting them immortality for long
The last Acorn, I stand forlorn
and alone, yet firm and strong.
The fruit of the oaktree, I forsee very far
before I fall down to kiss the ground
I get picked up and quickly stored in a jar
The fruit of the oaktree, I forsee very far
Warding off evil spirits, I fight them as a czar
Bring luck to those who consider me profound
The fruit of the oaktree, I forsee very far
before I fall down to kiss the ground.
6.5.2020
Something about this nature calls to me
To set me free
Of this heartbreak I forsee
Inside, something stirrs
Though my destiny still blurs
But what do I prefer?
Should I care for a young one?
Or is that too much to be done?
Though, it seems like so much fun
Maybe help pets?
But it gives me the sweats
With all of life threats
Could be an actor?
Still that factor
I am more of a reactor.
Perhaspe a writer?
Making lives brighter
With a story that is a nail biter.
So which job is for you?
Whichever you pursue
Make sure your heart says it’s true.
The snow lay white on Schuman lake
this afternoon. The ice
gleamed in the sun. I went to take
a picture. It looked nice.
White lay on Schuman lake the snow,
I took my phone to capture
where near the bank the cattails grow.
Was careless in the rapture.
White lay the snow on Schuman lake.
I took a step – and crash
did not forsee the ice would break.
my foot went in with splash.
On Schuman lake, the snow lay white.
I wore nice shoes and suit!
The mud was deep, the ice had bite.
I wish I’d worn a boot.
On Schuman lake white lay the snow.
I hobbled to my car
and drove away with dripping toe
because I’d gone too far.
Lucid thoughts
From neural streams,
Frequencies of conscious beings,
Vibrating on receptive traces
That defines us not as different races
But as one in unified code,
Sharing one corpus striatum,
Matrix network conjoining one
Connectivity between those who see,
The way forward existentially,
Those who forsee and feel the paradigm shift,
Healing all of humanities rifts.
More than a year has passed
since I saw your pretty face last,
Time has slipped by way too fast
But not forgotten despite the past
Wish that I could take it back
Change what took us so far of track
Make up for the things I lack
Too fix it all and repair the crack
Our private world, gone for good
hurting you, never believed I could
Youve moved on as you should
Id see you happy,I really would
A much better life for you Id see
Far greater than your life with me
Thats your fate,with heavy heart I decree
lamenting the lack of wisdom to forsee
I know that Im the one to blame
I have never felt so utterly ashamed
Regret,Remorse, the pain remains
Heart and soul forever maimed
I think about you every day
I try so hard to cut away
better to have loved and lost or so they say
A price in pain that I must pay
One last note to my sweetest friend
Guess this is it, this is the end
My eternal love to you I send
As into darkness I descend
Happiness isn't how many times we breathe, it is more like the future from those breaths that we forsee.
Happiness is in all we see, taste, touch, speak and hear, and it is just as loud
from afar as it is near.
Happiness radiates a glow off off you and I, When we laugh, smile and even cry.
Happiness is ours until the very end,
When we are holding hands with our Lord and asking him
"How are you doing my friend?"
I can't believe it, I finally see it
The myth is real
I believe it, feel it
...No wait, it's all an illusion
Who do I call
to capture my imagination
cause I've been fooled by the illusion in my mind
Do I own a contusion
or am I still dressed in confusion
by the crushes who force feed me their personalized drug
which toys and picks at my brain piece by piece
laughing at me while they perform brainwash surgery
Everytime I take a simple look in their eyes
to find what lies inside
it feels like Medusa hit me twice
a stone stare petrified on my face
while my heart just sits in it's recliner
watching old movies, bringing back fond smiles and bright eyes
souvenirs and trinkets
I try to breathe back in but I'm frozen again
Medusa hit me twice
with a stare of petrified ice
halting my decision to open my eyes, refuse
If I open my eyes to let me forsee
failure pouring from leaks
Please grant me the power of invisibility
or just send me digging into a tree
so I can fall upon a branch
and watch the sky form a lie in its clouds
for me
Come down and have a look, inerrant,
Glance over clumsy us as parents
Look at kids living by no schedule
We haven't set praying as a rule
Be touched with our faces dreaming of new and cool.
We'll buy a bar next to a sea shore,
Sing on TV of our home and more.
We'll marry a girl who owns a flat -
Inhale the smoke and please don't comment,
Soon alarm goes off and you will forget all that.
Horizon's switched off as if a stud's
Crouching, with his nostrils full of mud
We will all come home after the mall,
We could not forsee things in a stall,
We could do all.
Silently, I sit.
Peace comes over me and I'm free.
Thoughts just melt,
While I learn how to forsee.
Receiving messages;
Guiding me from my pain
While I quench my thirst
With this gentle, loving rain.
I breathe and listen.
Relaxation is my leader, now.
I will speak and show them
That they will receive what they allow.
i remember when you saw me in the devil's tattered and torn
the flinch was the pinch and i felt the tinge at every inch
my innermost persperation was inspiring convulsing chills as a merciless foe
i remember when you saw me in the devil's forgotten and forlorn
i recall the melancholy raindrops expressing the truth through the feeble theatrics of my acidic lie
the shake was a flake so easily exposed by the obviously expressive ache
my external mannequin was so horribly frostbitten by the flop of the frigid show
i recall the most brutally honest eye talk within the very heart of the most avoidable senselessness gone terribly awry
if i had the antidote to dissolve and dissipate,
i definately would not hesitate
to burn the milky white nucleus of your incomprehensible hate
that makes me melt in your memory in an altered state of wait
a black snowflake falls, and i find myelf wanting you
a white hailstone crashes, and i see myself flaunting you
an indecisive sun teases, and i forsee myself haunting you
a disappointed moon cries itself fuseless, and in the blind stillness of this remaining actuality, I....AM....SO....STILL....LONGING....YOU!!!!
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