When The River Was Empty
“When there is nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire.”
– “Your Ex-Lover is Dead” by Stars
When the river was empty
you moved on…
I stayed
gaining nothing but age.
Tell me the day
does not equal decades
sifting through silt
and cigarette butts.
The sand proved too quick
for you to stand.
Old currents have caught me
and brought me back to our beds
through unteachable trails
where none is less travelled.
your footprints
still lead me ‘round
to when the thirst turned
back upon itself
creating
a wasting whirlpool
of what was
to be.
Why can’t time just forgive time?
And move me along instead of drowning
me in all my wrongs.
Someday the cold cold mountains (as they do)
will melt making many many drops of forgiveness
forging a small spring anew with life
reviving a renewed river,
rushing my ashes
to renewal.
When I came home from a long walk, my door was a little open.
I thought you had shown up to talk, but then I felt more heartbroken
As I thought you wouldn't, for how cruelly I spoken.
It took time for me to realize
I fed the wrong ego and paid the cost,
there's was no reward but a price;
I should be very happy and make a toast!
If all worthless things
suddenly come to an end,
there's little to understand;
let them be memories!
I've stopped waiting on you, charmer
the wonderful things you whispered were false,
not even one word matched your promise;
it was another wish on a wandering star!
I've reached the limit of my patience,
how can you hide your pretence?
If all worthless things
suddenly come to an end,
there's little to understand;
let them be memories!
Don't try to stretch the rubber band,
it will hit you hard in the face,
it'll hurt more than David's sling did;
it's time you stopped this mad race!
It's the usual dilemma I'm caught into,
it's the enigma more harmful than a taboo!
If all worthless things
suddenly come to an end,
there's little to understand;
let them be memories!
It took time for me to realize
I fed the wrong ego and paid the cost,
there's was no reward but a price;
I should be very happy and make a toast!
If all worthless things
suddenly come to an end,
there's little to understand;
let them be memories!
I've stopped waiting on you, charmer
the wonderful things you whispered were false,
not even one word matched your promise;
it was another wish on a wandering star!
I've reached the limit of my patience,
how can you hide your pretence?
If all worthless things
suddenly come to an end,
there's little to understand;
let them be memories!
Don't try to stretch the rubber band,
it will hit you hard in the face,
it'll hurt more than David's sling did;
it's time you stopped this mad race!
It's the usual dilemma I'm caught into,
it's the enigma more harmful than a taboo!
If all worthless things
suddenly come to an end,
there's little to understand;
let them be memories!
It took time for me to realize
I fed the wrong ego and paid the cost,
there's was no reward but a price;
I should be very happy and make a toast!
If all worthless things
suddenly come to an end,
there's little to understand;
let them be memories!
I've stopped waiting on you, charmer
the wonderful things you whispered were false,
not even one word matched your promise;
it was another wish on a wandering star!
I've reached the limit of my patience,
how can you hide your pretence?
If all worthless things
suddenly come to an end,
there's little to understand;
let them be memories!
Don't try to stretch the rubber band,
it will hit you hard in the face,
it'll hurt more than David's sling did;
it's time you stopped this mad race!
It's the usual dilemma I'm caught into,
it's the enigma more harmful than a taboo!
If all worthless things
suddenly come to an end,
there's little to understand;
let them be memories!
A grain troubles night
horizon opens—
mother-of-pearl sky
sparks luster layers
of opalescence
threading dawn to day.
Written: September 22, 2026 for a contest sponsored by: Line Gauthier
**********
Crimson grief coils, a choir sneaks at night,
I’ll stand at your side, unhurried, till first light.
Should stories dissolve as twilight looms,
I hold each word; silence cannot exhume.
Where the twisting road may veer,
I will endure tenaciously, I swear.
How can i mourn something i’ve never known
Still I pretend to swim
in the endless sea
nigh of any true misery
only the discomfort of martyrdom
inflicted upon those who will learn
to forget my name
shroud my shattered remains in gossamer
let time feast on my flesh
strip from me all of value
yield to nothing but my eyes
an unmade carcass of becoming
shall drift loosely carried by the windless tide
watching—waiting for the day to bleed into the night
Grief does not belong here
It has no home
Tears shall not be shed where I lay
Irises will not rest by my tomb
Palms will not dig to unearth me
For a stranger cannot be mourned
If they were never known
Potential is not a promise-
and that's all I've seen in you.
I've given every opportunity-
but you've never followed through.
(You once) treated me with kindness-
but I deserve much more.
I deserve a kind of love-
I've not experienced before.
See, I deserve consistency-
and I deserve the truth.
And I deserve my wishes-
(and all of) my dreams to come true.
I've come to learn from my mistakes-
that patience gets you nowhere.
Not when one's committed-
(to serve) themselves; although it's not fair.
(I) love you for many reasons-
and I'm not sure that will change.
But you've shown me by your choices-
you don't love me the same way.
Choices aren't mistakes-
see, they are conscious trains of thought.
You choose to make decisions-
that you know leave me distraught.
So, since you choose to hurt me-
instead of fixing what you've broken...
I choose to walk away-
my sense of worth has been awoken.
Why is my name blue
on your lips? You cry it to
The heavens--silence!
If I am your refrain, let
My name burn as cold as ice!
The more days I spend talking to you
The more,my love for you fades.
My heart beats quieter seeing
Your eyes once stars, dim.
Your voice a sweet tone
that carried honey.
Now bitter.
I still love you,
but I don't want you.
Your hapless actions-
Fill me with guilt.
I don't know what to do,
you ask once more
"Is this love true?"
The question hurts
as I can't even look at you.
I wander on a journey that may fail
The compass heading points me to true blue
Late Summer is the time I know so well
Accentuated by my thoughts of you
I wonder as I wander through the maze
What separated us as years sped by?
My love for you displaced by cruel malaise
Still on the journey asking myself why
Acceptance is the price I have to pay
I’ll try my best to take the good with bad
Accepting our relationship’s decay
Your absence from my life makes me so sad
To make the best of life remains the goal
My thoughts of you are balsam for my soul
I'm laying here tonight
In the bed we used to share
Looking at your side hurts
Without you it's so bare
I pull your pillow close to me
But you scent is gone too
As tears roll down my face
My heart breaks again missing you
It hurts a little extra knowing
You leaving is because of me
This burden I'll carry forever
I deserve all this misery
I don't deserve happiness
That fact should be known
I deserve this life of regret
That I'll forever spend alone
THE ALMOST
Your eyes spoke more before you said a word,
your smile shone bright before your name was known.
I remember those eyes that looked with love,
I remember those moments more than my own.
Every moment, every word
had light, love, and shyness,
till both of us came to know
our hearts were meant to beat together.
We learnt each other's laughter,
those dreams filled with you,
those momentary pleasures of love
that fluttered my heart like a dove.
I noted everything down,
in the back of my mind,
wishing someday
you would become mine.
I thought you would stay till the end,
but I don't know what made your heart bend.
For everything that ever happened
filled my heart with the almost.
And the only thing I did
was break into pieces.
But wasn't it too late to realise
that the thing was my unwavering trust?
I still remember those moments, but now,
those eyes turned away from me without a word.
Your smile faded,
as your lips no longer shaped my name.
Your eyes spoke less
before you left me unheard.
~solace ash
I got used to everyday feeling good
I ran out of words in my book
Then the book started to burn
And new pages started to turn
Scrambling, I tried to reverse
But I couldn't stop the adverse
Days turned into night
No sun was in sight
My chest felt tight again
Just when my pain was at an end
Life takes a different trend
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