Giant’s wife was angry Ruth
Thinks she is a super sleuth
Manners are usually uncouth
Some say she comes from Duluth
Ruth has a magic wisdom tooth
And the gift of a saysooth
When she speaks, it is the truth
Uh-oh, she’s sitting in the adjoining booth
Now is the winter of our discontent:
evicted Tuesday – couldn’t pay the rent.
No consolation bourbon – dough’s all spent.
Can’t call the helpline. Haven’t got a cent.
Cops busted me for “Lurking Within Tent”
- now sleeping on Duluth hoosegow cement.
My grandpa, Richard: and my dad – absurd
that they should call me Richard (Dick the Tird).
My ex so named me, as she flipped the bird.
I’m so unlucky, bums think I’m a kurd!
I’ve fewer teeth now than a hobo’s comb.
When I get out, the fresh air is my home.
So tell me, White House – where’s my Golden Dome?
Do what you will – but don’t send Kristi Noem!
the desserts were bragging they had stolen my tooth
It was cake and ice cream, both hailed from Duluth
They were obscene, bragging with outrageous smiles
I wanted them to go away, at least a hundred miles
I knew they had taken other teeth from me too
I had lost several to cavities, and it made me blue
The desserts were boasting they had stolen from me
I wanted them to fall off the edge and end up in the sea
We all love love, but all agree
that friction is our enemy:
when all slides nicely, that’s the thing!
Of lubrication do I sing.
The oil of primrose, asphodel,
or axle grease, or KY Gel,
one substance that the people hunt
will always be a lubricant.
In Kokomo, Kalamazoo,
rubbing, scraping, just won’t do.
If you’re from Oshkosh or Duluth,
you know the truth – it must be smooth.
When solids meet, before, behind,
they’re bound to shudder, judder, grind.
So crush those olives, pound that seed –
the lubricant is what we need!
May we learn from the peace bell that sits high atop a hill in Duluth,
which holds inside it’s chimes and everlasting truth….
That people who, at first, do no get along
can also make amends
that individual friendships can promote understanding
and that enemies can become friends.
Duluth Warmbilt factory blanket
placed over his shoulders
after dinner cookie in lap
untasted
facing out the long
double-paned window
grinning hard
scaring the new hire
A skull she thinks
waiting for it to melt
just enough
so the two-ton truck
The crazy kids drove out
onto the frozen lake
stuck out there
all winter now
gets swallowed up.
There are a couple who live in Fort Meyers
who are firm World War two deniers
They shout out the truth
It was filmed in Duluth!
Are they just dumb or a couple of liars
Written 3/19/22
And then she had only one tooth
The rest had decayed, that’s the truth
Too much Christmas candy
No dentist was handy
She lived all alone in Duluth
Of dentists, she was not a fan
Guess that’s why she can’t find a man
One tooth has its perks
Just watch how it works
When she needs to open a can!
A rakish young fellow from Duluth
Completely hooked on gin and vermouth
Drank like a fish
Out of a dish
Somewhere along the way lost his couth.
May 27, 2021
There once was a dude from Duluth
This dude only sported one tooth
Wore tattered old jeans
Quite airy they seemed
The truth, the “hole” truth, and nuttin' but the truth
'Twas the night before Christmas
On the village square.
Carolers were singing.
Everyone was there.
My daddy was a baritone
But his falsetto filled the air.
Mama shrunk his boxers;
They're not ready-to-wear.
He asked Santa for some new ones;
He didn't dare go bare.
So, on Christmas morning,
Santa left a spare.
Now daddy has a pair
That couldn't give a care.
He's back to singing bass
Thanks to his Duluth underwear.
November 29, 2019
A legendary entertainer known for his folk singin'
Wrote the protest song, "The Times They Are A Changin'
He was born in Duluth, Minnesota as Robert Zimmerman
Singer, songwriter, author, artist, what else? A renaissance man!
Educate Me With Humor - Leader Clerihew Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Andrea Dietrich (Winner: 4th Place)
Date written and posted: 01/23/2019
A foolish, young man from Duluth
Spent all of his money on Ruth.
She's grateful of course.
He's filled with remorse,
And now must face up to the truth.
January bills are now due.
Year's taxes are coming up too,
Taxes and charged bills,
Most he head for hills?
Bills don't pay themselves it is true.
Written by: Female, ring size 8
There's a castle in Duluth
Made out of sugar cubes
And the moat that flows out front
Is filled with soda pop
Fruit that grows on trees
Is the finest in jelly beans
In the nearby spring fed lake
People swim in grape Kool-Aid
The streets where those people live
Are cobblestoned with M&M's
In their houses made of brick
From different flavors of licorice
With picket fences in the lawns
Constructed out of candy corn
When cotton candy clouds
Move in from the South
The crowds open their mouths
As the skittles come raining down
The days are always sweet
In the Kingdom of Kandy
Where the King and Queen rule fair the days
With scepters made of candy canes
In their castle of sugar cubes
This Kandy Kingdom of sweet tooth's
I walked up to the man at the counter,
put down my bag, and looked at the name on his tag,
It was Howard. "How do Howard," said I,
“Ain’t it a lovely day to be alive? I want to
visit my sister Ruth in Duluth,
whatcha got leaving around five?"
Then I smiled and showed him my tooth
"Akkk," Howard spat, and proceeded to yak
When he recovered he spittered and then sputtered
Finally, he uttered, "Sir, I am taken aback,
I have never seen so much plaque!
And it's green sir, it's green! One tooth! One tooth!
and you can't keep it clean?" Then he remarked,
"Sir, that tooth must glow in the dark."
“Howard,” said I, taking a swallow of my gin and juice,
Is your last name Seuss?”
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