Skips in a line of Customers
To attend to some newcomers;
A long good patience running out,
A long silent voice to soon shout!
"Why aside a guy in need wave"
While he does same attention crave?
CCTV does bear witness,
People's acts judging their fitness...
He could seller call A Bastard
Or for humor Tasteless Custard;
A claim he ate her this morning
But has, since, been sadly mourning.
Steady rustling of stacked-high newspapers,
On the vendors stand US skyscrapers;
A long face further parting with brightness:
The type that treated not things with lightness
It’s a man heading for a child’s mistake;
From last medical check-up much at stake!
Started it had with a rumored broadcast,
Which listening through made Chapman downcast.
Now, he’s at Lukman’s vendor stand for more
Of a hitting news that few minds could store:
“All banks shan’t be working for two weeks,
Their once-cheerful customers goddamned freaks!”
Yes, some bank manager did cook alive,
For home they’d sought to cashless point drive.
Chapman looked like he would die in a week,
Who had seemed throughout January sleek!
Some men on plenty feed,
Yet customers of greed,
The rash cankerworm breed,
Never there for your needs,
Worsening them like weeds...
I know a Shameless Steed,
Who'd never Gospels heed:
Pleased with Satan's own seed:
His best point: can minds read
Plus nice Jackets of Tweed
But paupers with Steed plead
And shake him not like reed.
Valued clients, we have listened
and have taken on-board
your concerns
regarding the political correctness
of this our store.
Thus we are now a Gun-Free Zone,
and are confident that the notices
on our front doors will dissuade law breakers,
will make us much less vulnerable
from attacks by gun totting maniacs.
Please do bring the kids.
The customers ~ are always right so don't argue with them.
Date Written: 5/8/2022
Your job shall be on the line
And, sure, Agatha’s and mine,
If on our salad our customers dine
And taste our wine
But fail to feel fine
This betraying with faces frozen
And a wish another hotel had chosen
The looks of one served oceanic brine
Eyes with contemplated murder shine …
So, over that we won’t pine
You do for a stitch in time that saves nine.
Valued clients, we have listened,
and have taken on-board
your concerns and suggestions.
From now on, the display manikins will
be of a deep puce green color
so as not to marginalize
any ethnic variants.
In our book section
the last a copy of the Constitution
was taken out of the shelves and buried
(thanks gardening department).
We are now a gun-free zone,
and will be defenseless
from attacks from gun-toting maniacs.
Please bring the kids.
We hope these changes
will improve customer service
and assure you of our pledge
to keep pandering toward a ubiquitous
uniformity of puerile solutions for all.
Saw a sign in a fast food stall in our local mall
“Tables are for eating customers only” I was really appalled
Kinda barbaric I'd say
But tasty in a soufflé
Perhaps rephrasing would save one life however small
A sign at an outdoor restaurant I found was a wee bit barbaric
“Tables for eating customers only” soon the townsfolk would perish
Much the same as toiletries
A tree on which you can pee?
The english language at times can send a confusing message
Saw a sign in a fast food stall in our local mall
“Tables are for eating customers only” I was really appalled
Kinda barbaric I'd say
But tasty in a soufflé
Perhaps rephrasing it would save lives no matter how small
Bank to Customers—Please Go to Hell
By Elton Camp
I can remember a better time way back when
Banks gave toasters if an account you’d begin
To get your deposit they were happy as can be
And, of course, your checking account was free
And if you were willing open a saving account
Bank would pay interest—a generous amount
Tellers were glad to see you and called by name
That’s gone and never will again be the same
Nothing at a bank anymore is given out free
Even to talk to a teller there may be a fee
Interest on savings accounts has dropped low
Some are now paying just barely above zero
If, “I’ll move my money elsewhere” you say
Response is, “Fine we don’t want it anyway.”
Big banks are the worst just as experts say
So with community banks or S&L I’ll stay
Compass, Regions, Wells Fargo I here tell
For my part, it’s YOU who can go to hell
Well you're saying your steak isn't rare
And there's food stains on your silverware
You say I exude
A bad attitude
Well just ask me if I really care!
You've been nothing but trouble for me
Now you're trying to get your meal free
I've seen your type before
Let me show you the door
No you can't have a refill of tea!
Now I hear all these rude things you say
Don't you know I work hard for my pay?
I'm as good as you are
Guess I'll go hit the bar
Cos' I'm quitting this job anyway!
**for contest "A Fly On The Wall"
sponsored by Michael Falotico
Let me not hear and let me not see.
Let me not speak the anger in me.
Let me take each day as it goes.
Let not my words run as free as the river flows.
Let my Good days keep a steady ryme.
Let my happy thoughts push forward the time.
Let not this hostile man ruine my smile.
Let not a frown on my face run for a mile.
You follow the black customers around your store where you work.
You think they're going to steal things because you're a jerk.
What you've been doing is wrong and I've spoken to the proprietor.
He says he'll be watching and if he catches you, you'll be walking out the door.
It's people like you who give this country a bad name.
Black people deserve respect, you should be ashamed.