Tim Roth gets shot, and what emerges? Blood.
His innards act like wrecked intestines should.
Those fifties-movies injuns really suck,
with tactics redolent of Donald Duck!
“The whiteys circle wagons, as we feared:
so let’s just ride around them – get mown down!”
You’d see more bloodshed watching Charlie Brown.
And why does Tarzan never grow a beard?
Tim Robbins plans a prison break. Oh well,
they’ll catch him quickly when they search his cell.
It’s never searched, or posters changed, in fact.
And why was Thomas Hagan never whacked?
And Cage’s “Wicker Man” was just plain weird,
and not remotely scary. I’m at ease
with oddball cops with masks on: “Not the bees!”
But why does Tarzan never grow a beard?
“Commando” – Arnie’s shooting-up a storm:
a hundred dead a minute is the norm.
The baddies take ten thousand shots at him,
to no avail. They’re not from Arnie’s gym!
You want to know why Rin Tin Tin’s revered?
The dog’s so smart, he counts: he knows when you’ve
exhausted all six slugs – then makes his move.
Yet why does Tarzan never grow a beard?
She wakes at six, a soldier’s pride,
Yet dodging texts like enemy fire with stride.
Discipline sharp, routine on point,
But replying? Nah, won’t even anoint.
Her thumb trained in stealth, like a commando ghost,
Evading my message like it’s classified post.
No salute, no signal, just tactical ignore,
She’s on a mission to reply nevermore.
So here’s to the General of Ghosts, all hail,
Dodging conversations like incoming hail.
A warrior in silence, bold and elite,
Too tough for texts, but quick on her feet
The bizarre scene when Earth has been pressured
And on Richter Scales this can be measured:
When the immovable readily quake,
Not a single hard rock failing to shake…
A punishment too familiar to Japan
At a period hitting her like a pan.
Often her feared National Tragedy
She’d kept devising a ‘Stop Strategy!
How preventable it was ‘Quite Doubtful!
Whenever it struck whisky a mouthful…
The matched with Virulent Epidemic,
Cruelest act of God to Academic:
Wars orchestrated by commando…
Habitations could look like Dog’s Breakfast,
High Death Tolls asking for Religious Fast:
No longer wise raising brick houses,
Better rooms as light as today’s blouses…
Not a thing she could contain with Judos;
The day Judo does, by all means Kudos…
Walking off a High School wedgie,
Just digging out my underwear.
Lodged tight in the crack of doom,
These days it seems they're always there.
This daily Freshman ritual,
I try to face with chin held high.
I laugh so they don't see my pain,
But it's hard for me not to cry.
Ruffed up by every Senior,
I've got to stave off that fear look.
They take my picture on their phones,
Hope it won't be in our yearbook.
I know there's not much I can do,
It's time I should take a stand though.
But since I'm only five foot four,
Maybe I should go commando.
Where does one find True Extinction
Long gone into sad extinction?
Know I some doubly soiled magistrates
Clean for their mansions with balustrades,
A wife-beater philanthropist
Who would not pay for bandaged wrist,
A lauded sharp shooter commando
Who fired and missed stalked Fernando
And doctor who called colleague 'Dummy'
But swab forgot in patient's tummy...
And it's second missionary journey
Prompting a bribing of Attorney.
Guys v Girls
Pre night out checklist
Girl's
Push up bra clevage out
Going commando
2 pair's of spare knickers
Make up plastred on over an
inch thick
Fake tan , eyelashes , nails
Botox infused duck lips
Sporadic sprinkling of glitter
everywhere
Stiletto heeled shoes barely
able to stand upright in
See through dress so short
displaying bits of flesh that
have never seen the
light of day before
Token handbag no coat
Fake i.d in order to get in
Check complete let's go girl's
You never know tonight
1 of us could meet our
Prince charming or Soulmate
Guy's
Cash 20 fags
1 condom just incase you
never know fingers crossed
Splash of cheap aftershave
Job done check complete
Right boys come on
Let's have it
1st one to throw up pass
out start a fight or gets off
with a fat or ugly
bird is a total and utter legend
And gets free drinks bought
for them for the rest of the
night
For a man of the cloth, our dear vicar
is not very partial to clothes
He is almost allergic to trousers
and y-fronts get right up his nose.
Ev’ry Sunday as he climbs in the pulpit
(where the choir boys are sitting below)
His meat and two veg are seen swinging
And it’s proof that he is commando
The ladies who bake and do flowers
don’t know if to scream or to peek
but Olga the Organist’s smiling
and she’s practising eight days a week!
At this year’s summer fete it was breezy
and the wind, I’m afraid, took its toll
His cassock blew up to his waistline
as he served up the last sausage roll
I've heard when he goes on vacation
He suns himself on a nudist beach
and his wife applies his sun lotion
to stop his tush looking like a ripe peach
03/14/20
By Parizo Van Thulare
The echo of my rhyming
Making waves from the calcaneus up the nerve of auditory
Cleansing all which was blocked in tympanic membrane
This is poetry 's Lambast
The beauty of wisdom making Blast
This how i Cast
Hear them throb through the cortical cells
Storming and stomping as the dozer of Bells
The words through my lyics
The bond of my syllables
The fonts of the collabo
This is me the Commando
Parizo De Lá Poerto
You are a lortus in masserati
A horsepower in Kawasaki
So sexy as Lamborghini Garllado
So smashing my machillargo
As luxurious as the Jeep Commando
As bold as those seats Picanto
I love you like my Yamah
By Paris Thulare
This time I wear no dark color
This time I wear no scar
My words cleansed me
My lines made me
From bieng a Black child
I transformed and became The Voice
Egoisim and Pride tasted my margins
From the Harbour with Valour I began singing Night Hyms
Unexpectedly Feelings bled
I started chasing paper
I fell for The Wrong
Became A Fool
I Rose Still
There began The Voyage with Poetry
It brought the best in me
I became a Paper orphan
The Invention of a village life
The Legend Walking
From Being A Lyric Commando
To being Parizo La Poeta
By Parizo Van Thulare
Rise!my poet rise!
The words you speak are wise
The stanzas you roll with are mild
Like stars at night
You always shine so bright
You rhyme with pride
You woke the broken from the hive
You raised the saddest with your mike
Yet they are taking over the streets
They want to hike
All the way to you to taste the poetic life
THE AUTHOR
The author is stronger than a panther
he can love a lady but not chaff her.
So strong and hard like a rock
and 2018 is the last year hes broke.
He brings order like shepherd with a flock
like a good shop keeper never runs out of stock.
Hot like fire
hes a Commando without an attire
day after day he goes higher
till he builds hes own empire.
He fears and respects Jah
cause only him can take him far
on a smooth road covered with tar.
Falling and rising is hes weakness
but one day he will rise and never fall in darkness.
To every soul on earth i say Jah bless
forever he shall bless covering you with his grace.
He looks simple
with a single dimple
but more powerful than a male hippo
try him you loose your Nipple.
Soon hes shinning to the world
hes being separated from the crowd.
EMMANUEL KABWE.
My home is on the farthest ramparts
And in the darkest of canyons deep
Where scanning vultures circle my keep.
My home is in the hottest jungles
And the sandy desert wastes so dry.
Where scanning buzzards circle and cry.
My home is in the frigid mountains
And huddled on shores rocky and damp
Where scanning ravens circle my camp.
I am on the prowl both day and night
Call me commando, seal, or ranger
Others thrive because I face danger.
I'm like a SEAL team commando
After several cups of espresso
I like to dive bomb
With great aplomb
A gyrfalcon? I think so
To poach me is illegal
My name evokes the regal
I reach astonishing speed
When I'm ready to feed
You can call me a golden eagle
There once was a man from Orlando
Who went by the name Fernando Dando
Ran out of laundry soap
What to do, what a dope
Decided to go it commando
AP: Honorable Mention 2026, Honorable Mention 2025
Submitted on August 19, 2018 for contest CELEBRITY LIMERICK sponsored by TANIA KITCHIN - RANKED 10TH
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