Bum..blebees
On a warm, spring day
in…… May,
when there’s a hum
from the bum…blebees,
PLEASE,
just freeze
and……..listen!
For on that warm, spring day
in….May
that buzz and hum
does come
when young bees
are in a fret of sweat
learning their humming alphabet!
So on this warm, spring May day
when the hum of the bum..blebees
is buzzing lightly through the trees
just listen far and near,
and you’ll definitely hear
the humble, bum...blebees
practising their humming a,b,c’s.
They may, at times,
rumble or stumble
even jumble!
But a monotous, murmuring mumble
earns a teacher’s cross-grumble
No understanding of anything carefree;
the culprit simply removed to plan bee!
Ian Souter
Coocoo doodle I do,
Not every day I coo,
What Mum can do, I can –
My skin needs a sun tan.
My hair with homemade curls,
My makeup shines like pearls.
I'm just a baby, see,
Acting adult, maybe.
Bring napkins for wee-wee,
Ensure fun flows for free.
Tie me nappies for poo.
And bandage my boo-boo.
Baby guys will whistle,
Love – their own epistle.
While I sway my bum-bum,
Left to right like my mum.
Coocoo doodle I do,
Not every day I coo,
What Mum can do, I can –
My skin needs a sun tan.
No high-heeled shoes to wear,
I'd still swagger with flair.
I'm a baby with style,
Can't stop this cheeky smile.
Savaging what he has left
after the mafia takes his last
bowl of soup his last slice of
bread his last cup of coffee
the mob boss then gives the
bum a cigarette and a light
pats him on the shoulder
tells him to keep warm its
cold out here drives off
the mob boss then douubles
back around and ask the bum
for change for the parking
meter the bum reaches in
his pocket with worn finger tips
torn gloves and give the
mob boss his last dime
and says take it that's it
that's all I have the mob boss
scratches his head and says
are you sure this is your
last dime the bum replies
yes I'm sure take it you need
it way more than me now stunod
stumps I’m your new Boss Bum
now do you got any change
Bum Fluff
I suffer
acute bum fluff
shortages.
I’m the lady with a big bum
A man offered quite a sum
Of money to play
With my bum he’d pay
Until I reached out to his mum
My limericks are silly and all bout fun
My attempt at putting those nasty blues on the run
I don't take this task lightly
Honoured and quite rightly
To be the one to put a wiggle in your bum
White Ohio body tanning under Florida sun
There must be something besides love
Another good topic for a poem
Perhaps I'll write about nature and stuff
And the chilly winds a-blowin'
November in Canada has that nip in the air
That foretells of the season ahead
For those that are into those winter sports
Bet you're can't get it out of your head
Well maybe when I was a very young'un
Snow time meant barrels of fun
But this guy's quite old and crotchety now
Snow means falling on me bum
Can't wait for spring just six months to go
The months can't go by fast enough
Perhaps I'll hibernate just like the bears
Then wake up and brush of the dust
Don't get me wrong, I'm Canadian eh!
It's the law, I'm required to like winter
They could lock me up, throw away the key
It's also against the law to whimper
(sniff!)
Tickle me bum and call me Lucy
Everything's loopy and totally groovy
Lost half a pound
Look great in a gown
Next I'll star in a Hollywood movie
A baboon who had charm, grace and flair
had a steamy and lurid affair
with a slender gazelle
who conceived very well
a gazoon with a reddish derriere.
a sun bum withstands
the rays falling like light-rain -
godsend with eyes closed
A hearty good morning my friends
The rest of my life is just around the bend
Seems just like yesterday
With a rattle I played
Now use a walker still fall on my end
You wake up at night,
Heart filled with fright
Sweat on your brow
But it fades into nothing now
Age in my eyes
Shows how time flies
Time on my hands
And no one understands
Listening to the voices in my head
Doing what I want instead
The beat goes on but the timing is wrong
Who would if thought it take this long
Waiting on myself, but once again I was a no show
Listening to the music within, giving it time to grow
What I once wanted to be
Some of the fragments I can still see
Tell me am I still free
Time passes leading me to here today.
Still searching for the right words to say
Chasing off the memories of times gone by
Dried are the tears that once fell from my eye
One day maybe another to come
I'll have to remember where I come from
Till then I'll just be on my way
Maybe I'll stop and see you again some day
That is my choice, not yours. You chose to do the damage you did. You chose to use your power over your kid.
Trust is alien to me. Trust someone who was supposed to love unconditionally?
Did it just get too much?
The threats made to lose touch!
The pain and damage you refuse to see.
Pain and damage living inside of me.
‘Get over it’ they say?
It’s in the past now anyway.
Perhaps it’s all just me? Never wanting to be free.
Never wanting to live a normal life?
I must hate myself so much just to survive!
So don’t pretend to own any aspect of me.
You gave me life and that don’t mean Jack sh#t to me.
When my life I was prepared to let go.
This is my life now, this is my home so you know.
The small kitten that starts off so weak.
Can’t see, can’t feed, can’t speak.
Learns the lessons of the truth.
Find care for yourself, look after yourself, no one cares for you.
‘Cos in the end when tomorrow don’t come you’ll still be the loser, the freak, the bum.
My kid is cool
A real surfer with blonde hair to match
The waves come without warning
Riding is a thrill for us all
Calm to the peak with explosive prickles
Rain or shine we ride
Out or in
I wonder if we really have a choice
Love is unconditional
Patience wears thin
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