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A Salad Backstory

I went into the garden on one sunny, lovely day
When I was attacked by vegetables in a most aggressive way
Every time I turnipped around it seemed that I got beet
It kept me on my tomatoes but barely on my feet
I asked them to leaf me alone but they couldn't carrot less
Lettuce be, they said to me (kinda corny) but I digress
"I yam!", I say, not quite knowing what I'd done
They said I'd rhubarb the day I came and blocked their sun
"That wasn't my intention, I'm sorry I've bean bad."
They didn't give a horseradish, they were steaming mad
Kicked in the asparagus I fennel to the floor
My eyes began to leek, this wasn't f-onion anymore
Some of their bigger pumpkin could be quite cucumbersome
Squashed my lady's finger while I was still flat on my bum
I was spinached in circles and even artichoked
With pepper in my step now, I really was provoked
I managed to escape this prison celery of healthy brutes
To solve this nutritious problem I must get to the arrowroot
The solution was just simple and took a mere few hours
I dug them up and ate them, and now I just plant flowers.

The only issue really, without my vegetables attacking
There is no peace and quiet, the tulips won't stop yacking...

Copyright © Hat Bueckert

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Book: Reflection on the Important Things