Best Weirder Poems
I had a cat name snowball
she died!
she died!
my mom said she was at the vet
she lied!
she lied!
....
Just Kidding!
Oh no!
Look at this joe
Face on the desk cause he's writing so low
Lifted his head and what did I see:
Oh wah! wah! wah!
Mommy didn't love me!
Saw another girl and her mouth was so cringe
Seem like the pen in her hand wasn't able to unhinge
and I walk passed her and saw some or her words:
life is so lonely
I want to blow some coke
father doesn't know me
people think i'm a joke
Holy ghost and holy spirit!
Why are people so sad?
I thought the guy was A.D.D ing
And the chick was on her rag
I understand that life ain't full of win
But just loathing in it is as bad as a sin!
Cutt-ing yourself
Drink-ing to death
Bin-ging on drugs
So you could feel that "close"
That out of body experience where you leave that "ghost"
Grabb-ing a pen
leave-ing a note
Commit-ing a suicide
If I read more of this depressing stuff I think I will cry!
Listen love
go and feel pain
So your girlfriend dumped you
Then go to the strip club and make it rain!
Uh-oh girl
just lost your job
so now your broke
So go out and shake your ass for some handsome bloke!
I understand if you
get upset
have regret
and want your life to be pushed for reset
but when you go through that you
grow up more
see to explore
find out that you could high again sore!
So write me a love poem with no break up
Write me a story of that one day of endless luck
Give me a riddle where the cow goes mooo
That's right be silly!
Shakespeare doesn't like your emo poems!
I wouldn't too!
ps: hey guys! it's late! and the later it gets the weirder i get!(well it's 3am for me,
idk what time it is for y'all) :D
anywho we all have written our share of emo poems ( i know i have!
heck i still do!) I just couldn't help myself to write this, especially since
my motivation was a shirt i saw that actually said "Shakespeare doesn't
like your emo poems." ( with picture of Will annoyed as heck XD)
...
no not Will Smith :p
Hello, I am a praying mantis from the tropics,
a killer really, once I bit off the head of my lover;
and then I ate him, yummy and then I was caught,
I ended up in a pet store until one day she bought me.
I am a strange pet for a girl to have and love,
but it is so, few people realize we make amazing pets;
no weirder than a rat or ferret or snake.
My species is known for courage and fearlessness,
in ancient times we were considered supernatural gods;
but I have no powers except my praying posture,
I like to be perfectly still with my for arms folded in prayer.
Usually my girl feeds me small insects she finds,
once when I was on a stroll I reached into her goldfish bowl;
and ate her goldfish, oh my, was she upset with me,
I like to grip her finger with my long legs.
One day I escaped into the garden, oh delight,
I ate a bunch of bugs by ambush and camouflage;
you see I am the master of disguise,
I can blend into the foliage and any background.
My girl found me when I was trying to resemble a flower,
she said I was a giveaway with my two bulging eyes;
(and three small ones) darn it anyways, almost had freedom,
but in truth I love my girl and the lovely nest she made for me.
She has made it look like my tropical homeland,
with a heater and plants on which I crawl and pray;
there is never a lack of bugs to eat and I do love the light above,
so yes I am an odd pet for a girl to love;
but she calls me beautiful and that makes my wings flutter,
and I go into my praying poise for her to praise . . .
________________________
August 12, 2016
Poetry/Personification/Praying Mantis Pet
Copyright Protected, ID 16-817-962-0
All Rights Reserved. Written under Pseudonym.
WHAT IF?
Alone with my thoughts on a thoughtful day; just thinking
I thought of many things but one thing keeps replaying; what if?
What if there is more to life than just being meaning and meaningless to people?
I attend church to be saved; what if church can’t save me?
I heard a lot about heaven and hell; what if I don’t see any when I die?
What if things can never get better? There is no hope hoping
What if beneath all this smiling faces hides terrible wickedness?
What if beneath the love offered lays a potential hatred?
Ashes to ashes; what if there is no need working so hard as all will fade away?
Some things don’t seem right; what if nothing was ever right?
We ask for another chance; what if we don’t get the chance to ask for another chance?
What if things can never be normal? They just keep getting weird and weirder
We can only see what we want to see; what if what we see isn’t what we seek?
We constantly hope for a change; what if the change we hope for never comes?
Always seeking for the truth; what if the truth we seek is uglier than the lie we know?
So many what ifs to think about, what if I don’t think of any what if?
Lordvip
October, 2013.
Written by Gail DeBole
on April 23, 2016
Medicine prescribed for somebody's woe.
Could be for sickness, a worry or intense pain from a foe.
You say to beware of the medicine
That brings on the dreams
That are weirder or bizzare-r than they’ve ever been.
It’s an awareness I lack when I fall into REM
Because my dreams have NEVER followed a logical trend.
Their logic (if any) is hidden from me
Within cushions of context and layers of meaning that blend.
How much weirder can my dreams ever become?
They’ve been weird all my life
And it is sometimes fun
To convince myself that I really understand
What is going on in my mind -
my convoluted land.
Written by Gail DeBole on May 29, 2017
Lacy Limerick lived on a lane
Named Limerick off a street named Main
As if that wasn't enough
Here's even more weirder stuff
Limerick was also the town's name.
There is more about Lacy to know
A poet who wrote humor that flowed
Can you guess what comes next?
She was one of the best
Limericists with a talent that glowed.
> My parents gave me advice. Of the dead only speak nice. Now if I heard right someone is being critical of Sir Terry Wogan, and that is not right. So as The Mad Author I have been called to write in his defence, and this is what the writing bug helped me write.
The Eurovision Song contest
Sir Terry Wogan spoke the truth.
The Eurovision Song contest is a joke.
It did not need Sir Terry, at it to poke.
As all could see, it was a joke.
No weirder sight, did I see.
Unless watching children’s programmes on TV.
Silly costumes, men/women too.
Or were the women, men? I could not tell.
But Sir Terry described them all quite well.
Of course, the British were not liked.
Others are jealous, all are alike.
We fought most of them in years gone by.
Yes and won the final battle cry.
But as for the Eurovision Song contest.
Best call it one of fancy dress.
As of the singing, Sir Terry was quite right.
As a Song Contest, it was not right.
I think we would have stood a better chance.
If Sir Terry had sung, his floral dance.
And as daft, as daft, as that did be.
I’m sure it would, have maxed points for GB.
And that’s the truth, do you agree?
The Eurovision Song contest is now naught.
Without Sir Terry, God bless his sort.
Now, as GB in EU might come out. No more need we rant and shout.
Or even dish the money out.
I do not know why but in copying and pasting the entire script has appeared with red underlining.
Even my explaination has and to be honest I cannot prevent it happening. It was not there in the text before. Oh well onwards and upwards lol (The mad Author)<
All of a sudden I miss a step
And then you excuse me the lack of continuity
He dragged me here, taking me by my hair and then asked me to leave some space in me to handle all of his dirt.
To exchange.
I could be stronger getting fat in my tower.
I could be stronger but then I recognize there's no need.
'We found love in a hopeless place' but then again it was all about deserts when we were somewhere else.
- - -
They told me you were standing over his dead body
But now you're unlocking my valves
They told me you were standing over his dead body
But now you're making my rivers flow
Some of it is yours
And some of it is mine
The guilt in between us is circling around
Sometimes it's all yours
Some of it remains mine
I put myself in your hands
Staining you with my glitter
But then I remind myself to go back home
There was a break in me
That's left me hopeful
I was flowing in your hands
And now I'm lying on a cloud
With our rights in my pocket
Gods were eager to give me answers
But there was little left of me
He took my grounds where I used to flower
But then you came and I let you in
That's just all that he's left for me in his will
He'd sworn he wouldn't let me out alive
- - -
Are you a satanist miss? What? I'm a little snake between your sheets, I'm a ladybird sitting on a leaf, I talk to you about ways I die, my puppy and cooking, I get weirder day by day, there was a connection and then I jumped on it with all my weight. I'm here because I'm a girl with daddy issues and it's my entrance pass. He took pins and pushed me to the ground. We do things for grown ups and oh my God, you're so young but I forget to blush so I guess it's all good. People made me feel guilty for growing up, are they doing the same to you?
I place myself in the queue then I grow weary and even my body is reluctant to stay.
I wash my hair every day and you start accepting my existence as a part of your reality. All my breathing cells. All my syntheses, my mitochondria as I can't accept how they react to you so I leave them and you alone.
It was mine but then they started eating it by piece by piece and the fear's crippled me. I was expecting a breakdown. I've had of enough apples to look this young and now I'm made of candy. They told me you kill people, well, I'm a girl who's forgotten to die.
I was running so hard my feet were nearly raw!
This was worse than the time I ate a rusty thing of coleslaw
I started to stumble back
Man I really need a big mac
I tumbled over right on a bee
Out of everyone that could get stung it had to be me!
I laid there in pain
I old guy seen me and started to beat me with a cane
That sucker really must've had a bad day!
As he walked away I wanted to do something but I didn't know what to say
I finally got up and started to run
I swear this isn't fun!
Then I stepped on a rock
I fell what looked like a fishing dock
It turned out to be a cat
With a purple hat
Man I’m so hallucinating right now!
It must've been that medicine I took that was supposed to be for my mom's cow
My mom’s pretty mean
One time she hit me with her car, I wish you could've seen
There's nothing scarier than her!
Then i woke up, man these dreams keep getting weirder and weirder
This is too bizarre to make up, and can only be in the USA;
Social Services sent me a letter
They would stop my services unless
I sent them a copy of
the letter they sent me
Bizarre? It gets weirder.
Henceforth, my case manager
requested from them,
A copy of said letter,
So she can send it back to them
No wonder I'm crazy.
In the meantime, all service halted,
all prescriptions unfilled,
And all logic out the window.
Only in America!
A full moon is known for making people do things that are weirder and weirder. It only appears at night, even when the Earth rotates and stuff. It happens on every 14th of 15th of the lunar month. The full moon is so whole, but so scarier, it's like staring it right in the face. Everybody also knows that when people turn into werewolves (just like the werewolf movies), they most likely howl at the full moon. It may be a real myth and a real folklore or whatever, but All full moons are still making people do weird things. It seems that the Earth's been rotating around the sun, even when the day's over. But when it comes to a full moon and werewolves and stuff, they're basically from movies and Greek mythologies and stuff, in which they're a bunch of awesome folklores. And if the full moon continues to appear at night and people continue to do weirder things, thereby making people do weird things, there's no telling what weirder thing might happen next, even on another full moon.
I live in a trailer park in upstate N.Y.
proud, dumb white trailer trash I is
don't really know well my neighbors
to me that is just as well
you'll understand far better when
you hear the tale I'll tell
across from my small single trailer
looms a large expensive double
but the weird guy living there
seems potential trouble
he has this most odd fetish
this obsession I find odd
he seems very territorial
like his brain was made of sod
he has, in front of his homesite
5 marked parking spaces you see
he has but one little car
and never has any company
he posted a big sign, "No Parking!!"
that's just what it did say
but weirder by far I tell you
and this I can't figure out to this day
he parks his little car,
in an angle so oblique
so he covers at least 3 spots
now I know just what it seems he does really seek
and it's so dumb I laughed so hard, I grew weak
he's "protecting" his useless ground
which he doesn't own at all
it kind'a makes me laugh
at such moronic gall
he's very like a dog
so I wonder if he might
urinate around these spots
perhaps in the middle of the night
the thought, oh my!, that'd be a scary sight!
"marking his territory"
that's really public space
to me he seems buffoonish
a disgrace to the human race
I watch him through my window
sometimes when he comes out
this little round weasel clown-man
makes you want to shout
"hey, duck-head! why not a barricade?
and keep out even more?
and maybe provide you with some shade?
or maybe a fence and toll booth
and armed guards to keep away
those who are a parking space thief?
and think just how it would provide you
with much, much more relief?
"cause you worry someone will park
in one of "your spots"
I guess this fear is your strong belief.
OF ROY AND PINCH BANDITS
Claims Roy one day
to have been approached
by an angel of GOD
alleges the said angel
brought him news
news that he would pass to glory
complete with day and time...
Come the day... Roy
arranges meeting with cece..
.. his beloved siz..
Roy unable to confess..to cece..
the truth.. bout his departure
ROY goes to university next..
bids friends goodbye...
Roy goes to a stall
buys daughter five tuna fish cans..
a parting gift from a loving ROY...
Roy boards shuttle..
Roy sits next to lovely..
very lovely ladies....
Roy never one to let a pretty girl
escape untalked... says hello
girl snobs ROY.. Roy knows his end is near
decides to say last prayers..
asks GOD to send someone .. to deliver
the tuna to daughter..and his love regards
ROY is snatched sudden by deep sleep..
waves and waves of it.. ROY surrenders..
zones out.. awoken by a sharp mosquito bite..
..or is it butterfly.. looks everywhere..
lovely girl gives him a weird look..
shuttle conductor gives him a weirder look..
waves and waves of sleep swallow ROY..
Awoken by sharp bites.. many of them....
wakes.. now every ones.. giving sweet Roy..
very weird looks.. Swallowed by waves again..
bites starts... ROY keeps eyes closed.. twitching..
half asleep half awake.. distance laughs
more bites and more bites..twitching..
shuttle has reached.. ROY surprised he..
he still lives.. ROY tries to alight...
legs give way under him..
steadies himself then walks home..
ROY arrived home minus three cans of tuna..
with huge bumps to prove them biting...
after relating to us the story..
every ones burst... with stitches of laugh..
teasing ROY to death..OH... hes just met
the famous pinch bandits... Oh oh oh..
the pinch bandits
pretty girls they are
they way lay celebrities
who are too exhausted to
open their eyes.. pinch them
pinch them and again pinch mm..
and ROY day was finally come..home
Lewis K Nyaga
0239 eastafrican maritime
Wonderful West Wind was weirdly wildly, wistfully whacky,
Blesiegingly bullied, bustered, boasted, batted both barns and boats
Soothing serene sage serendipitous Sun subsequently surmised
Weird Wind’s bullying behaviors were caused by idiotic insecurities.
Everyone loves you, Sun tried to reassure wild west Wind.
West Wind was indignant and did not believe Sun.
He tried to blow Sun out of the sky, which did not work.
It made West Wind seem weirder, and not half as wonderful.
O Camelot! O Camelot!
The winds have changed, the land got hot!
Though dromedaries are quite neat,
A bactrian's hard to unseat,
And so the knights still joust a lot.
At banquet feasts, the men are found,
And like the table, they are round.
The reason they are heavy-set:
Girls now see knighthood as a threat;
Who lives life chaste and honor-bound?
Sir Galahad, a handsy lad;
His boasting made the maidens mad.
Now saddled with the cursed #metoo,
Chivalrous days of riding through,
He gardens, in his armor clad.
And then there is Sir Lancelot
Sad, as he aged, he weirder got.
Exchanging quests for lowly toils,
He traveled far just lancing boils,
Relieving pustulence and rot.
And Arthur lost what he held dear:
His lovely bride, his Guinevere
The evil witch, Morgana Fay
Transitioned her without her say,
And as a knight she does appear.
O Camelot! I just cannot
Believe the damage time has wrought.
And now the lady of the lake:
A charlatan, a fraud, a fake!
Ran off with Merlin, on his yacht.
Soup tv, soup dot.com, soup everywhere. Nice spoon, no bowl. Talking weird
cause somethings are weird. Suddenly printer works...little else on me does...
there is no clue to my problem...well at least I got free tv for a day...only in
America- $4 for phone, $5 for TV, or get combo deal for $9!! It gets way weirder,
and it'll take some time to relate. Wow. bye, later, tom