Best Slamme Poems
Hey P.D.
You think you can compete with me
But you can’t take the heat
Get out of my kitchen
Go back to your easy bake oven
I am a master chef
Dicing and slicing
As I cut my lines
Like a coke addict
Out of his mind
You think you can cook
But your stuck on my hook
And can’t stop staring
Hey babe
Want to know what I’m wearing
Don’t worry I ain’t sharing
Once I’m through
Putting you in your place
Its all for you
Just letting you know
You’re the catcher
I’m the pitcher
Hey love
Like the feel of my ball
In your glove
I can throw all day
So I hope your ready
For a steady
Meal of my ways
Just roll over
And give it up
Even though you’re my lover
You ain’t got enough
don’t make me get rough
Trying to hold back
What you cant contain
Got me on your brain
Making you insane
Come on auspice
Just give me this
Tell me I am the greatest
And kneel at my feet
And admit defeat
I had a cat name snowball
she died!
she died!
my mom said she was at the vet
she lied!
she lied!
....
Just Kidding!
Oh no!
Look at this joe
Face on the desk cause he's writing so low
Lifted his head and what did I see:
Oh wah! wah! wah!
Mommy didn't love me!
Saw another girl and her mouth was so cringe
Seem like the pen in her hand wasn't able to unhinge
and I walk passed her and saw some or her words:
life is so lonely
I want to blow some coke
father doesn't know me
people think i'm a joke
Holy ghost and holy spirit!
Why are people so sad?
I thought the guy was A.D.D ing
And the chick was on her rag
I understand that life ain't full of win
But just loathing in it is as bad as a sin!
Cutt-ing yourself
Drink-ing to death
Bin-ging on drugs
So you could feel that "close"
That out of body experience where you leave that "ghost"
Grabb-ing a pen
leave-ing a note
Commit-ing a suicide
If I read more of this depressing stuff I think I will cry!
Listen love
go and feel pain
So your girlfriend dumped you
Then go to the strip club and make it rain!
Uh-oh girl
just lost your job
so now your broke
So go out and shake your ass for some handsome bloke!
I understand if you
get upset
have regret
and want your life to be pushed for reset
but when you go through that you
grow up more
see to explore
find out that you could high again sore!
So write me a love poem with no break up
Write me a story of that one day of endless luck
Give me a riddle where the cow goes mooo
That's right be silly!
Shakespeare doesn't like your emo poems!
I wouldn't too!
ps: hey guys! it's late! and the later it gets the weirder i get!(well it's 3am for me,
idk what time it is for y'all) :D
anywho we all have written our share of emo poems ( i know i have!
heck i still do!) I just couldn't help myself to write this, especially since
my motivation was a shirt i saw that actually said "Shakespeare doesn't
like your emo poems." ( with picture of Will annoyed as heck XD)
...
no not Will Smith :p
Dear Poetic War
I'm here to inform you to change your name to (War Shoe.)
Warlock doesn't even fit you!
I have many ways to insult you.
I have to play nice, can't you see all them evil eyes!
Poetic Warshoe the only talent you poses is the word LOCK!
No need to try and crush what you can not see
All you are is another loser who can't let me be.
You silly jail bird, you sound more like a game of Monopoly
Its my turn and I hold your ticket to get out of jail for free.
Don't worry Warlock, Board Walk is owned by me.
Washing your couplets down with a cup of tea.
I laughed so hard your words almost made me pee.
Warshoe, why are you jumping on me like a little flea?
The only stinger you have belongs to a bumble bee.
Poetic thug you are messing with the wrong killer bee
Sorry I told you I share my fate with Nate!
Go grab some more help from your psychotic mate.
Raid I will spray on your strategies you poetic bug.
You have no class to be a Warlock.
The only thing you master is being a poetic thug.
Go back to playing dominoes, cards, and chess.
Your poetry smells like potpourri.
My demons will hit you with an epic battle of success.
Hunting me is the way you want to waste commissary.
I will enslave you to worship the grounds my feet caress
Challenging me will be the best thing you've had in 5 years.
First I will send you this letter with a small request.
Look down first before you think you pushed me over the cliff.
I own the crown causing massive damage to your quest.
You will never dominate my battlegrounds, I will end you in a swiff.
Your sword will be conquered in my arena, bringing you down to a rest.
I will make you suffer begging for mercy and forgiveness.
For trying to step up to the best.
Warshoe you already failed my test.
In this game you will never beat me at my own contest.
Your heart I won't eat I will feed that to my guest.
Warshoe its time to rip you out of the shadows where you hide.
I will LOCK you in my WAR of hell.
Shackling you in a fetal position as we collide.
Your fear will spread for everyone to smell.
I will end your poetry with no pride.
I will post venom in your abyss through out your cell.
A poison so rough now bend over and open wide.
Warshoe by the time this is over you will bail.
And I P.D. will still have you under my spell......
by;P.D.
OK fellow soupers, sit back and relax;
I'm about to smash this "SAMURAI" with the "AFRO."
So with this POETIC ANTHRAX,
watch how I poison him with my sick FLOW.
dakarai your slams are for the city dump.
I wouldn't dare get beat by no poetic chump!
dakarai open this surprise envelope,
and enjoy what I now have to say.
I'm picking up that "SOAP,"
and I'm throwing it back your way!
"Inmate this" and "inmate that"
Your slam was a hit and miss for I'm a Poetic Acrobat!
Come on dude I expected something new.
Show some "gratitude" that I'm even "slamming" with you!
Soupers know you "bit" off "P.D.,"
because she first mentioned the "SOAP!"
Where's the originality?
Let me just tell you your horoscope...
Today is the day that you have extreme bad luck.
For you're finally being hit by a poetic MACK TRUCK!
I see I have you mad,
because I said you and Chris like to dry-hump!
I'm crash landing on your heliopad -
You poetic chump!
You mentioned "G.I. Joe,"
A 'cartoon' - go figure!
You say you're "Rambo,"
But why am I pulling this trigger?
"Boy," you don't "shine," I've distinguished your "shark."
So you FRANKENSTEIN, enjoy the dark!
You say you "blessed my soul" like the "Pope" in Rome.
Give me a drum roll as I take these shots to your dome!
You say "My pen moves too slow"
Chump I focus on other stuff too.
I'm getting Billy-the-kid to shave that afro,
because I'm not soley thinking about you!
I'm leaving your "writing hand" a bloodied stump.
I wouldn't get beat by no poetic chump!
Ok forget "slam," we can ask soupers who's the better poet - you or me?
They can have a poll for the Romeo and Troll (who writes the best poetry!)
SLY FOX - Dramatic verse, Epic and Deep.
Dramatic verse? How surprising coming from the SLY FOX Drama Queen.
Epic and deep? Well, excuse me
but you have me confused with somebody else entirely.
I'm about as deep as PD's so called poetry.
So listen good and listen hard to me my little SLY FOX Drama Queen pretty.
Go stick your SLY FOX head on the body of a donkey
so that all who then see you will truly see you as
what you truly are. A Royal Pain In The Ass!
Yeah, again I know this isn't the correct form
Feel free to disqualify me.
I just happened to be rambling along
and thought I'd stop for a quick slam on PD.
This isn't for PD's contest,
but I'm entering it anyway because I'm her nemesis and pest.
*TheKidsterWasHere*
Soupers quiet down, quiet down, dakarai cobb is in for a shock.
I'm gonna smash this clown, so let me metamorphose into the Poetic Warlock.
Soupers put your hands in the air, and chant my name to the sky.
You poets can tell by my demonic stare; dakarai is about to die!!
Give "you" some ammo? dakarai, a true slammer would have his gun cocked and
loaded!
You are such a "lame-o," for I read your comment - clearly noted.
Soupmail after soupmail you begged for a piece of the Poetic Warlock.
But a certain poetess had me under her spell, because of what she did to my c#$k!
You are not a worthy opponent for me, because I only battle the best.
I know you intend to "bite" my poetry, for you notice how I do in each contest!
Matter of fact, do you ever win? Do you ever "place?"
Let me show you my diabolical pen, and what I will do to your face!
First I will staple your lips, then super glue your eyes shut.
I will strangle you with a bullwhip, but not before I kick your poetic butt!
Dude this slam is giving me a raging hardon, tell your girlfriend I said "Hey"
I gave her the nickname "Jaw-bone" and still have her purple negligee.
You called my open challenge a joke, dakarai you just have no clue.
My poetic gun will smoke, and I'll gladly annihilate you!
My poetic vault is filled to capacity, and after I'm done, I'm sending you to the electric
chair!
You have the audacity to ask for ammo for your gun - punk you're not even ready for
warfare!
You're a child playing a grown mans game, and I'm putting you in checkmate.
These soupers are chanting my name, and your "head" they wanna see me
decapitate!
I will take off your ugly head, and defecate down your throat.
You will end up dead fighting a poetic heavyweight, and there is no antidote!
Note: I will enjoy slamming you back to back to back - can you keep up? After I'm
done with you, you'll end up cutting your wrists. lol
You think you have me down pat
So, I’m going to move when you say this or that
Go scrub the rust from the pipes in your head
Can’t you remember I escaped your bed
Your heart engorged with congealed blood
Can only be cleared by a massive flood
Don’t think I’ll go throw a pity party
A stand I should take since you were forty
I’ve long stop feeding babes with spoon
This time, I need, myself to groom
Crystal clear, stream of water
This to myself I’ll joyfully gather
Nurturing hope, change and love
Redeeming the grace, from God above
So, with my new self, let me bond
Need no disquiet here to stand
So go! Go with your selfish greed
No longer with your ache I’ll seed
So, with my new self let me bond
Need no disquiet here to stand
Ding. Ding. Goes the sound of the bell.
Soupers see a poetic king emerge from his cell...
You called me a "Whorelock" - define that word punk?!
You're in for a shock - I don't entertain poetic junk!
I see you're using "caps" to capitalize certain words.
Tell your "girl" to give back my jockstrap before I tell the soupers what I heard!
That's right dakarai cobb. she said she can't stand your "small size."
Your girlfriend gives one helluva head job, but that's no surprise!
Only the Poetic Warlock can say, "hocus, pocus."
I'll slap "you" so hard, your "grandma's" eyesight will go out of focus!
I laughed silly boy, after I read, "Jimmy's first reality check."
In this prison, you'll be someone's toy, walking around with hickies on your neck!
Come on now you poetic thug, you've never been in a fight in your life!
In this prison you'll be smashed like a bug, or become "big bubba's" wife!
I'm a real life "head-buster," I've just learned to control my anger.
lil' boy, my life could be a blockbuster, for I'm an ex-gangbanger!
You don't believe me silly, just call Maury Correctional Facility!
In case you didn't know, it's public info, so check my credibility!
I wish I could have you all alone in this here cell.
I'd rip your weak heart from your breastbone and send you to hell!
I'm sending you a message telepathically, trying to make your brain explode.
I want to destroy you mentally, and then tie you to a railroad!
I want to inject you with HIV, and watch you choke on your own tongue.
I want to blow you apart with some TNT, and then lay your "pieces" in animal dung!
dakarai be serious, what other poetic forms do you write?
I'm just curious; for "soupers" have said you're just a poetic parasite!
Yes, I stay in the "soups winner circle" religiously.
Don't be upset with me because poets appreciate my poetry!
Yes, the "top 50 best poets" list, when will I see "you" on there?
"Soupers" say you don't exist, but that is true "after" this poetic warfare!
*Now I see why P.D. chose to totally ignore you.
For I've left you an amputee, and now I've injected you with swine flu!
I saw her walking past me as if gliding in a mystic air of illusion, stealing my senses
like a thief in the night… reason I beg you, leave me not please!
Unlike my words, her body was properly structured in a magnitude of fluorescence,
I was afraid to approach her because of fear of getting burned, as she ravishingly
radiated heat in degrees beyond my years of studying, a diploma couldn’t have given me the
honours to become a master at this game called… love… is love just a game?
If so then playing it with her I’m sure to lose coz you see, she has mastered the game
If I hadn’t met her I would have wished for things to stay the same.
But the only thing at stake is my heart.
From her I should be getting further apart,
I gazed at her not saying a word; our eyes meet and lock,
But I still find myself unable to talk.
Could this be love at first sight or is this just another infatuation?
Feelings of lust developing within me, but how do I tell that we share the same chemistry?
Fear in my mind was inspired by fear of rejection
Words of how I truly feel about her lacks projection.
I desperately need time to adjust to the situation,
To help me deal with this untimely infatuation,
Which came too soon…
Soon, as I stare up to the moon, I realise that I’m just a fool,
No need to play it cool, wasted chances with her got me in a foul mood.
Depression settles in worse than a salted wound,
In solitary, my room provides such a comfy atmosphere
But thoughts of her bring memories and the experience is like rain under the bridge.
Contemplating a second chance is irrelevant,
Will I ever see her again? – Insignificant.
I no longer make sense because she stole my senses,
leaving me feeling senseless.
I had walked away like a coward, now I’m wondering at what might have been.
Even though I put up a happy face and pretend that everything’s okay,
For lacking courage to stand my ground, this is the price I pay.
Indeed it turned out to be very costly,
And in truth she was killing me softly.
''A good deed is rewarded with an evil one'',
Said the snake ready to bite the poor fox
That had just set the snake free
moving the boulder from his hole.
''This is not true'' she replied
With a fear in her eyes
''I am ready to show you why''.
So the poor, yet sly fox took the snake for a ride
To show him that good can dominate over evil.
They passed together mountains of snow
Along with seas of gold.
In the middle of their course
They met a white, beautiful horse
With eyes dry, sitting lonely on a field.
''What are you doing all alone''? The fox asked.
The horse turned lazily his white head and said:
''After ten years of devotion to my master,
After ten years of love, he left me here
Alone and hungry to die forgotten from all''.
''See? The snake smiled,'' evil is stronger than any good, I have to bite you''.
''No'', said the fox, ''I know the world and that is not true, come with me,
I'll show you''.
They passed green fields of storm, deserts of thirst
Until they came across a fat cow.
''Hello'' waved the fox. ''I want to ask you something.
Do you think that a good deed is rewarded with an evil one''?
''Of course'', said the cow. ''I always offer my milk to families, to children.
But now, that I am old, I can't give them anymore.
So, they are ready to kill me and eat my meat''.
''I hope that by now you know that good is nothing in front of evil''.
Said the snake and his tongue of poison slipped away from his mouth.
''Give me one last chance to prove you that you are wrong'',
The fox sadly replied.
They passed cities of red lights, roads of distance.
Suddenly, they see a hungry man with cloths torn
Running to steal a woman's purse. The man was thin and weak
As he could not keep balance he falls in front of the woman's legs.
The woman sees him and with compassion says:
''How many days are you foodless my poor man? Come, take some money
To eat and buy new clothes''.
He takes the money with his trembling hand, the woman sheds a tear and leaves.
''You see?'' said the fox, ''a good deed can change any evil intention''.
She didn't finish her words and the man stands up on his feet,
Runs towards the woman and grasps her purse with a violent move,
Dropping the terrified woman on the road.
The fox watches frustrated and disappointed. Turns to the snake and says:
''What a world! Just bite me''.
Yo, let me down this shot of whiskey before I give these soupers something to talk
about.
I'm begging a poet to challenge me, if their pens stamina can last a 12 round bout!
There was a time on this site, poets came from all around looking to battle.
Some couldn't withstand the fight, while others ran to admin to tattle!
Like some elementary school kid, they said, "Jimmy stole my writing pen!"
Poets remember what I did to their heads and "slamming " they never tried again!
So here I stand on this stage in a rage looking for another poets soul to steal.
Madison released me from my cage, only to discover me shoving her in my
pimpmobile!
Oops I'm not suppose to say a poets name, geez I'm terribly sorry, did not mean to
offend.
Let me metamorphose into a burning flame, and consume her skin for her sin of
being a fake friend!
Whatever happened to the sly fox? I guess that fox was frightened of this latin
snake!
I heard she injected herself with smallpox, then her hubby was slain, and she died
of heartache!
Too bad she cancelled her silly contest, but every souper knows why.
Just know my pen will not rest, till the day you challenge this poetic samurai!
Again, I ask, where are all the "slammers?"
I accepted you on my facebook, hoping for love and friendship.
Your erotic look has me craving to lick and nibble on your bottom lip!
Damn woman you look incredible, how am I suppose to resist?
Every single inch so edible, and I'm possessed like the exorcist!
I feel I'm gonna bust being filled with all this lust I have for you.
All this desire fuels my burning fire, and I wanna taste your sweet taboo.
I wanna free fall in a state of bliss, and swim in the nectar of your ocean.
I wanna feed your arousal with a passionate kiss, sprinkled with a yearning emotion!
I blow up your picture on my computer screen, and trace your pretty face with my finger tips.
Bonita I don't mean to sound crude or obscene, but imagine my hands on your hips while I
suck your lips!
I usually don't kiss-n-tell, but I think of your smell when I'm lying in bed.
I bet you're sweeter than caramel, and I'm casting a spell of love inside your head!
You're the woman I crave, so make me your slave for just one night.
Allow this papi to misbehave as I feed you all my sexual appetite!
Come out of my computer screen, and whip me for my transgression.
I need a shot of love morphine to make us reality and overcome My Facebook Obsession!!
You never see his name anymore, but believe me he's still here.
He open's the soups' door, making it possible for me to write beyond this
atmosphere.
He makes it possible to enter these contests, for it takes away from his own time.
All the postings often get him stressed, and yet he was the first to befriend me
despite the nature of my crime!
See, he's a talented poet as well, but he'll tell you he's more a pianist than anything.
My words may put you under a spell, but his finger's will play a melody on your
heartstring!
My father figure is still on the soup, but he chose to go by an alias rather than his
name.
He doesn't like poetrysoups secret group, plus he thinks the contests are judged
more like a game.
He's shown me fatherly love I missed as a kid, and that says a lot.
Our bond is thicker than the walls of a pyramid, and my pen stole the keys to
Camelot!
My father's helped me to make plans and goals, to do all I can to succeed.
He tells me don't let the devil steal my soul, and the Bible I should read!
He told me the soup was a joke, that premium members have learned to manipulate
the placements of contests.
Soup members are starting to see through the smoke, that top placements have
premium members possessed.
I would have to agree; for I know I'm one of the best poets on the soup.
But it's no longer about poetry; it's about being down with #%!$:'s secret group!!
I've come to take a life,
and I'm searching for a certain Poetic Parasite.
Blood drips from my poetic knife,
and I'm placing him in the soup spotlight!
You know how I slice and dice,
So you can call me Michael Meyers!
Lay on my pentagram and be my sacrifice,
and feel my poetic fire!
I love how you run and hide,
chasing you on this site is such a thrill.
You better not commit suicide,
I want the satisfaction of this kill!
This site will be like Crystal Lake,
Dismembering this poet like Jason!
Talking about the Butterfly was your worst mistake -
So you better call a freemason!
You told me to burn in hell,
LOL, I'll gladly do so!
But I love having you under my spell,
So let me hit you with this TKO.
Stop cowering behind that woman's skirt.
Stick out your d#@n neck,
I swear it won't hurt,
Your head I've come to collect!
Look into my handsome face,
as I decapitate your head.
I'm placing it on my trophy case,
and this is gorier than "Night of the Living Dead!"
I want to eat out your heart,
kinda like Jeffery Dahmer!
I wanna blow your whole being apart -
So call me the una-bomber!
Remember when you called me a worm,
as you lay bleeding at my feet.
I've come to rid the soup of your germ -
So Trick - or - Treat!!!
Soup Family Happy Halloween - kids be safe!
Don't protect me with your sugar,
your honey, and your sweet desserts.
My body, this body rejects them
with itchy skin and an itchy heart.
Don't protect me with that glaze layer,
the blanket of sooth sayer.
When the real story is easier to know.
Straight and direct.
No powdered confect.
I want the meat
and the reality...
Not the detour
and soften blow.
Because you know,
when we find out the truth
we don't believe truth
under your sweet tooth.
We are the cavities of your hypocracies...
So gimme a little floss
and some detafris
and I'll be on my way
with this forgiveness list.
Because now I'll trust
what I hear from the one
I hold so incredibly dear.
Because he may justify,
but he doesn't hide a lie
with frosting and sprinkles.
He delivers with justice
even if he wriggles and writhes.
He is unable to lie
like me...
unless slightly unconsciously.
But that is our intention here...
to become the clear conscious Christ.
So whatever hides in the shadow
we pull into light
with diligency and love to Be.
So forgiveness ahead
because you don't feed me sugar words
only sugar in my coffee
and too much salt in my eggs.
I love you, Amen.
Form: