Best Waistline Poems
For a man of the cloth, our dear vicar
is not very partial to clothes
He is almost allergic to trousers
and y-fronts get right up his nose.
Ev’ry Sunday as he climbs in the pulpit
(where the choir boys are sitting below)
His meat and two veg are seen swinging
And it’s proof that he is commando
The ladies who bake and do flowers
don’t know if to scream or to peek
but Olga the Organist’s smiling
and she’s practising eight days a week!
At this year’s summer fete it was breezy
and the wind, I’m afraid, took its toll
His cassock blew up to his waistline
as he served up the last sausage roll
I've heard when he goes on vacation
He suns himself on a nudist beach
and his wife applies his sun lotion
to stop his tush looking like a ripe peach
03/14/20
A time for many a part-time passion, like
the discarded skin of Esprit jeans and low-hip waistline
baring pierced navel with flavor of a chase on the run…
would he dare confess real love as the world tolled
for Lady Diana and Charles?
You with me… moon to sun, fire to burn our eyes…
I swing on an illusion and steal the time away,
rustling along a Mustang’s back seat, while
some 8-CD tract pleads, "Do you think I’m sexy,’’
dipping in steams of instant affection.
How deep-cheeked your thrills
like Indiana Jones , knocking me
off-balance: and I, a fool ignoring the pain
that you may never Stand By Me,
never in blinks of thousand stars,
a recycled tune melting in the sand
now you’re just ozone’s hole...
I wrap the scenes along Route 25,
as bittersweet time passes by. Alone.
Kelly Deschler's Decades Contest
``Do You Think I'm Sexy
and Stand By Me-- top 80s songs
Parody of the Xmas Song: White Christmas
I'm dreaming of a new body
with every chocolate I unwrap.
But I can't stop eating, I can't stop cheating.
There's just too many Christmas snacks.
My nightmare is a pot belly -with every Christmas treat I take.
But I can't stop feasting, my size increasing;
when I stand on the scales they'll break.
Yes, I'm dreaming of a trim waistline,
so take that chex mix from my face.
May my buns be smaller and flat,
and may all my body lose its fat!
(I no longer make my traditional chex mix and
many candies I used to cook for the holidays!~)
Vacantly staring into the night sky
She saw big bellied clouds drifting away
Are they fleeing away from the luminous moon?
Or mercilessly driven out
After being robbed off everything?
Once again she looked at her expanding waistline
And felt the pulse of life beating within
It sent a lightning of terror through her
The chapters of her life flipped past her eyes
With several scenes reeling one by one
"You are my sky
The ascending star of my soul in the dawn
And the bough of my homing at night"
Those words that sent goose bumps all over
Now rattle in her skull like worthless coins!
Never had she thought she would be
Thus cruelly betrayed!
How she had once wished the time to stand still
Now she sighs seeing the needle of the clock
Crawling at snail's pace!
She thought the deserts of her life
Had been turned into grass lands
When did the cruel frost fall
To suck up all that was green, she fails to locate!
But she remembers clearly when she had fallen
From the perilous heights of the cliff
Into the precipitous depths of the ravine
It was in excitement, she confided to him
That his seed was growing inside her
Was it with disbelief or bitter annoyance
That he heard those words, not quite sure.
For days, she heard nothing from him
Though worried, she tried to light up hope
One day as a bolt from the blue,
She got a curt message from him
‘We now go our separate ways'
She felt drowned while diving for pearls!
With a mutilated heart, the star crossed girl
Lives on....
Without knowing, time winging away
And the curse of the dead albatross
Hanging heavily in her neck!
But she shall live...............
Clutching desperately to hope.
Live for the poor ‘bastard' growing inside!
WHAT THE!!!.........WHO IS THIS???
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'VE BEEN PHOTO SHOPPED???
How could that possibly be?
I only wanted the picture cropped and framed!
You can't really think that looks like me!
When did I become seven feet tall?
My eyes are brown, not Malachite green!
You've made my arms longer than my legs!
Why are my ears the color of Tangerine???
I like to smile but you've given me one
that goes off my face left and right!
And what's up with half of me looking like day,
and the other half looking like night???
You've given me two feet so long
I have to go to an intersection
just to turn around!
And I've never had hair down to my knees!!!
You might as well have let it touch the ground!
You've given me a superhero's upper body
with a waistline the size of a pen!
Oh, come on! Those legs look like two soda straws!
This is one weird looking specimen!!!
The camera was designed to reflect real life
in pictures portraying life as it is!
I don't take selfies every two seconds!!!
What sort of madness is this?
I am not a celebrity
who has to be over concerned with a look!
Please! Put everything back the way it was
for my request you have grossly mistook!
Whatever the world is coming to
some things really need to be stopped!
"You gave me a nose like a battleship anchor!!!"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'VE BEEN PHOTO SHOPPED???
WTA-IV 5/11/2016
I hear England's strong voice praising its past:
Football's World Cup glory in 1966,
Shakespeare and Marlowe penning plays,
Sir Francis Drake circumnavigating the world,
Queen Elizabeth I, with the stomach and heart of a king,
Queen Victoria, with her ever expanding empire and waistline,
Constable, Turner and Reynolds painting pictures...
and yes, although it can only whisper of its today,
it shall sing once more of new glories,
it shall shout from its rooftops for St George,
and be proud of its past and present.
A little Patriotic free verse for Carolyn's contest, inspired by Whitman's 'I hear America singing'
All my life I've been called
-The skinny girl
-You're too thin
-The fragile girl
I was bullied for the size I was born with and can't help fixing it to their perfection
Always getting disgusting looks in their eyes
And the unending questions of - HOW and WHY I'm so skinny
People can be thoughtless of how their words may cut deeper than a knife
Often I'd walked away with stinging pain spreading in my chest while hot tears flowing hastily
I used to wonder if being skinny was so inhuman and was it worth living
I used to believe that being naturally skinny was perfectly ugly
Everyone is trying to feed me
I've tried many styles of massages
I've consumed many local herbals and vitamins prescribed by doctors
I've tried all there is to gain
Yet none has really does anything.
-Because I was born just the way God has create me to His perfection
I was beaten in their criticisms upon my waistline size
I was angry to the world
-But upon realizing how mean people can be
I've changed since and
Love my imperfectly skinny self... (Smile)
Written by Akkina R Downing
11-13-16
Aching for my presence
she called me late one night.
She wanted to have
a night cap,
and she knows I do it right.
Forty five minutes later,
on the counties outer rim.
I pull into the driveway,
of her old
Victorian.
Striking lightly with my knuckles
on the front door made of oak.
she opens the door,
powder blue negligee
high heels.
My jaw hit the floor.
Caramel surprise,
nude, she's dressed to kill.
Candles glowing throughout the house
relaxing music in the distance.
She drops her robe,
standing there,
testing my resistance.
The curvature of her waistline,
tapering to long,
well toned thighs.
Breasts proportionate to her figure.
Standing six foot tall
is a beauty just my size.
Unable to control my sergeant,
she receives a standing ovation.
Reaching down, she caresses me,
what a wonderful sensation.
I push her onto the mattress,
forcing my way between her thighs.
She twists and turns violently,
whimpering a series
of sultry cries.
Jared Pickett
10/11/09
Asavvy1
I crave sticky butter mint balls
Liquorice allsorts from the candy stalls
Orange smarties, my favourite treat
Violet crumbles I just love to eat
English toffees for me to masticate
Chocolate drops make me salivate
Aniseed balls would paint my tongue red
Nougat or should I choose fruit gums instead
Dime bars and snickers too much temptation
Yikes! my waistline spread’s caused aggravation!
Message In An Acrostic 2 Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Kim Rodrigues
09/07/21
Passion….
Such pleasures are born to those who dare
Together forever, the Heavens we will share
Take my hand and feel the pulse in my wrist
Your body is my wonderland and there’s passion in the mist
Passion….
My kisses and caresses will ignite so brightly a giant spark
Inspired by your lust if you can trust me in the dark!
I’m not scared to take you there, but understand the rules of flight
There are no secrets to this ride, confide and hold on tight!
Passion….
The spirit I possess can serenade your lonely heart
Feel my caress and don’t be afraid of our passions’ art
An intense hunger like I’ve never known before
My tongue will have you sprung once I begin to explore!
Passion….
Feel my fire and my desire will only increase
Your passion has me on a wire and I crave its release
A sudden rush as I grip your waistline
Your cheeks blush, and you taste so warm like sunshine!
Passion….
The passion is just too much between you and me
You tremble at my touch and we share our sweet ecstasy
Still under your spell, and the smell of sex in the air
Stuck like glue, I lay behind you against your soft derriere!
Passion, such passion………
"Resolutions Replay"
All resolutions for twenty thirteen
Always promise to start out peachy keen
dreaming or wide awake
my pet peeve is cheesecake
A wide waistline on bikini screams "mean".
Pineapples, cheeries, strawberries or plain
Calories are the secret to weight gain
trying to deny urge
as fork and cheesecake merge
Choose will power or perhaps go insane.
Only three hundred sixty-four more days
To keep resolution intact from craves
as the replay unhinge
time for a cheesecake binge
Happy New Year rides deep hunger pang waves.
*For Gwendolen's Resolution Limerick in your Pocket.
He said I'm sexy,
My waistline measures forty.
I think he's hungry.
Entry for Andrea's Itty Bitty Poetry Contest
3/30/2014
** 3rd place Winner**
She moved her eyes around...twirled her curly hair
And moved me playfully around her waistline
She is a beautiful art of Leonardo da Vinci and a twig of jasmine flowers
Extracting the colors from bangles...she smeared red color to her cheeks
She flipped me into the air like a kite tied to a ribbon
She is a girl with beautiful eyes and attractive like a old monk rum
With her ruby like lips...she made me fall in love
She won over me in a battle without using swords
She danced gracefully on my heart
Looking at her dance...I let go of my sleep
Drying the clothes on the terrace...humming gently...she sang a song
That is making my little heart overwhelmed with joy
Handing me a cup of coffee...as her fingers touched me
Like a current cable...she has flared up a mild voltage in me
Adding flavors to my dreams...she is looking at me with love
She pinned a strand of thread that joins the flowers together in to my heart
She captivated me in the border of her saree
She wishes me early in the morning and comes to my dreams at night
Where ever I go I keep thinking about her
She pushed me into a world of illusion
Closing the doors...she threw away the key
She took my heart till the silver lining of the clouds
And silently pushed aside the ladder
She enclosed my heart tightly in her palms
Like a fragrant breeze her beauty breathed life into me
She has imprinted many sweet conversations into my thoughts
She placed the goggles of love over my eyes
She is a princess of Akkadian kingdom...the one who raised desires in me
Decking me in her pearl necklace...she adorned her neck
Her
body,
rounded curves
perfectly toned,
sudden surging peaks
with pink rose tipped pleasure
~~over a small soft valley,~~
then downward plunge near her waistline,
far below Grand Canyon is waiting,
a perfect sculpture created by God.
© kashinath karmakar
===============000================
Placement: 3rd (Feb. 2012)
By:kash poet
Contest:Poetic Art
Sponsor:Linda-Marie
Banana Cream Pie I could eat by the barrel
My waistline would suffer, it's a losing battle
I could eat like a fly
Forego all that pie
And still I'd resemble some hefty beef cattle
© Jack Ellison 2015