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What Do You Mean I'Ve Been Photo Shopped

WHAT THE!!!.........WHO IS THIS???
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'VE BEEN PHOTO SHOPPED???
How could that possibly be?
I only wanted the picture cropped and framed!
You can't really think that looks like me!

When did I become seven feet tall?
My eyes are brown, not Malachite green!
You've made my arms longer than my legs!
Why are my ears the color of Tangerine???

I like to smile but you've given me one
that goes off my face left and right!
And what's up with half of me looking like day,
and the other half looking like night???

You've given me two feet so long
I have to go to an intersection 
just to turn around!
And I've never had hair down to my knees!!!
You might as well have let it touch the ground!

You've given me a superhero's upper body
with a waistline the size of a pen!
Oh, come on! Those legs look like two soda straws!
This is one weird looking specimen!!!

The camera was designed to reflect real life
in pictures portraying life as it is!
I don't take selfies every two seconds!!!
What sort of madness is this?

I am not a celebrity
who has to be over concerned with a look!
Please! Put everything back the way it was
for my request you have grossly mistook!

Whatever the world is coming to
some things really need to be stopped!
"You gave me a nose like a battleship anchor!!!"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'VE BEEN PHOTO SHOPPED???



WTA-IV  5/11/2016

Copyright © Walter T. Ashe | Year Posted 2016

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James Inman Date: 8/20/2019 10:06:00 PM Very clever and very humorous. It's funny that most people in the "old days" actually thought film was meant to capture reality. I worked in the 1 hour photo business for many years. The three major film manufactures created there film to mirror what there main clientele wanted, Fuji film for the Asian market which leaned toward bigger then life color, Kodak for the North American market leaning toward more realistic color, and Agfa skin tones for the European market. Login to Reply

Casarah Nance Date: 5/14/2016 11:51:00 AM Very entertaining, never can you really believe what you see all thanks to photoshop. Login to Reply Walter T. Ashe Date: 5/15/2016 5:42:00 PM Thank you Casarah! It brings to mind the expression "Believe half of what you see and none of what you hear!" :-) Thank you very much!

Paul Callus Date: 5/13/2016 10:41:00 AM This is a pleasant and entertaining poem, Walter...and very creative, I must say:) A couple of years ago a local vip was featured on a magazine...how people joked and laughed at her photo-shopped pictures...she was hardly recognizable!! // paul Login to Reply Walter T. Ashe Date: 5/13/2016 3:03:00 PM Thank You very much Paul! Some photo changes are straight up ridiculous! I'm sure that must have been some kind of funny! Thank You Sir!

Jan Allison Date: 5/12/2016 11:45:00 AM Must be tough when you are a celebrity Walter... its the price of fame I guess!:-) hugs Jan xx Login to Reply Walter T. Ashe Date: 5/12/2016 11:59:00 AM :-) Jan, if what comes with fame is a pic like this, I'm going from 0 to 100 mph in the opposite direction! :-) Thank you Jan, and do have a great day!!! :-)

Rainbow Promise Date: 5/11/2016 11:39:00 PM Well Walter, ha, ha,ha. A story-telling funny rhyme. In this imagery, I picture muscular top on tiny waist, a two-sided photo with each facial half a different color the things they do with pictures these days! Man a 7. Enjoyed it. RP. Login to Reply Walter T. Ashe Date: 5/12/2016 11:36:00 AM :-) :-) Hi Rainbow!!! It is actually outright scary what can be done to someone's pics these days! The trippy thing is that some request it!!! No thank you! :-) :-) Thank You Rainbow Promise and have a great day!

Lewis Raynes Date: 5/11/2016 10:06:00 PM bahahahah,,, great poem Walter, photoshopping is probably heaps cheaper than botox though :) (my partners going to kill me for that one lol) great write. Login to Reply Walter T. Ashe Date: 5/12/2016 11:42:00 AM :-) :-) Funny thing is some forget that a pic was taken yesterday and in no way can anyone morph like that in 24 hours! :-) Not only is it anatomically impossible, it is straight out "deceitful!" Thank you Lewis and have a great day! :-)

Bonnie Jennings Date: 5/11/2016 9:22:00 PM Sometimes revenge or placing a curse can be beneficial... LOL... Fun poem you/ve written Login to Reply Walter T. Ashe Date: 5/11/2016 9:41:00 PM :-) :-) :-) Hello to you Bonnie! To make that pic look ok, I'd need coke bottles inside coke bottles!! :-) :-) Thank you for this smile! :-) Bonnie Jennings Date: 5/11/2016 9:23:00 PM You've.... Poor eyesight!