Notes About The Poem
December. 23- 2023
This or That Vol.22. Poetry Contest
Sponsor- Edward Ibeh
~ Placed First~

 

Desperate Hope

Vacantly staring into the night sky She saw big bellied clouds drifting away Are they fleeing away from the luminous moon? Or mercilessly driven out After being robbed off everything? Once again she looked at her expanding waistline And felt the pulse of life beating within It sent a lightning of terror through her The chapters of her life flipped past her eyes With several scenes reeling one by one "You are my sky The ascending star of my soul in the dawn And the bough of my homing at night" Those words that sent goose bumps all over Now rattle in her skull like worthless coins! Never had she thought she would be Thus cruelly betrayed! How she had once wished the time to stand still Now she sighs seeing the needle of the clock Crawling at snail's pace! She thought the deserts of her life Had been turned into grass lands When did the cruel frost fall To suck up all that was green, she fails to locate! But she remembers clearly when she had fallen From the perilous heights of the cliff Into the precipitous depths of the ravine It was in excitement, she confided to him That his seed was growing inside her Was it with disbelief or bitter annoyance That he heard those words, not quite sure. For days, she heard nothing from him Though worried, she tried to light up hope One day as a bolt from the blue, She got a curt message from him ‘We now go our separate ways' She felt drowned while diving for pearls! With a mutilated heart, the star crossed girl Lives on.... Without knowing, time winging away And the curse of the dead albatross Hanging heavily in her neck! But she shall live............... Clutching desperately to hope. Live for the poor ‘bastard' growing inside!

Copyright © | Year Posted 2023



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Date: 1/11/2024 6:26:00 AM
Wow, what a magnificent piece, Valsa. I absolutely loved reading. Congratulations on your top win in my contest!
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George Avatar
Valsa George
Date: 1/11/2024 7:29:00 PM
May I repeat, it has ever been a pleasure taking part in your contest. I don't know why my entries haven't so far gone without a place, may be because we have similar vibes while with some, my poems have never been placed even once. I am so thankful to you dear Edward. I am a busy house wife with much responsibilities at home.... Sorry I rarely get time to read your poems
Date: 1/10/2024 9:52:00 PM
"bellied clouds", ' worthless coins', "cruel frost", "perilous heights", "She felt drowned while diving for pearls!", "curse of the dead albatross", "poor ‘bastard' - Your fluency in figures of speech and mastery over language make your poems very grand. The story gets its depth owing to this. A very beautiful down-to-earth story and a picturesque illustration. Congratulations!
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Date: 1/10/2024 11:04:00 AM
Wow! This was powerful! The angst you penned and the emotion of the expectant mother is so raw! This was a very compelling poem and left me wanting more from you about the plight of the mom and baby! Well done. And congratulations on a win dear!
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Date: 12/28/2023 4:06:00 AM
Very expressive and emotive work you have penned. I can see the unwed woman standing there with seemingly the weight of the world hanging over her. Very commendable work. Thank you for sharing this one with us and for dropping by my page. Sara K
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Date: 12/25/2023 9:15:00 AM
Wow! Quite an ending...or beginning should I say! Well told, captured my attention, and never let loose. Birth is a blessed mystery, never to be fully understood, outside of being a profound miracle. The child will grow into the answer, as we all do. Blessings my friend.
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Date: 12/23/2023 9:29:00 PM
I must admit that this poem made me very emotional.. Sigh, it's soul-wrenching and deeply poignant.. It's the cruelest experience when the one who promises stars and moon in our glory, betrays the very essence and abandons the other person's soul, only to let her drown in endless abyss of darkness..And what's the fault of the lil life that seeks to be nurtured and raised in the ray of hope!Every line here pricks like thorns and thistles, making me feel the angst of emotions in a heart-shattering
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Sharma  Avatar
Hiya Sharma
Date: 12/23/2023 9:33:00 PM
way. "Now rattle in her skull like worthless coins!", "She thought the deserts of her life Had been turned into grass lands,When did the cruel frost fall To suck up all that was green, she fails to locate" And that ending... Gosh, so poignant and these challenges faced by a mother, whilst going through the trauma.. That's incomparable.. This poem is a FAV for me, wishing you best of luck for the contest, dear poetess! Sending you love and light always~
Date: 12/23/2023 11:35:00 AM
Dear Valsa your poem evoked strong emotions due to its intense nature, and the skillful imagery used impeccably. Your ability to convey emotions through poetic storytelling is evident in this moving tale. The seamless flow and profound impact are remarkable. Woman's life as she grapples with the unexpected challenges and profound changes that come with motherhood. The powerful metaphors create a captivating story that accurately portrays the highs and lows of her journey. BOL, with the contest
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Date: 12/23/2023 7:00:00 AM
Exceptional story telling. A small typo in the first stanza. I think you meant “robbed of everything”. Thanks for sharing your artistry. I also appreciate your thoughtful visits and comments.
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George Avatar
Valsa George
Date: 12/26/2023 8:06:00 AM
I think both are right. Off I have used in the sense...' away'. Thanks for pointing it out.
Date: 12/23/2023 4:08:00 AM
My dear friend Valsa.. This emotionally charged poem delves into the complexities of a woman's experience as she confronts the challenges of unexpected betrayal and the profound changes brought by motherhood. The vivid imagery and poignant metaphors create a powerful narrative that captures the highs and lows of her journey... It made me really sad and i wonder if this is a personal experience or you know someone who has gone through this.. I wonder about the poor women who get raped and this
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One Avatar
Silent One
Date: 12/23/2023 4:09:00 AM
happens to them.. poem offers a poignant exploration of love, betrayal, and the transformative power of motherhood. The vivid imagery, metaphors, and emotional depth invite readers to empathize with the woman's journey and reflect on the resilience of the human spirit in the face of profound challenges...
Date: 12/22/2023 9:36:00 PM
Something you often hear about, how some men can behave that way beggars belief, then again they can't call themselves a real man. Merry Christmas Valsa. Tom
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Date: 12/22/2023 9:05:00 PM
This is such a sad story, you are so good at doing these dear valsa, poetic storytelling, the flow is just seamless and the depth of this really hits so hard and deep. I felt it so very strong, every line in this and your creative imagery is beyond impeccable. Theres so many lines that stood out for me like “ Now she sighs seeing the needle of the clock Crawling at snail's pace! “ how descriptive! “ With a mutilated heart, time winging awayAnd the curse of the dead albatross“ soul hitting!
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Empress Avatar
Ink Empress
Date: 12/22/2023 9:07:00 PM
It makes me sad that some women have to go through these things, this maybe fiction but this is something that happens so it hits home! And what a poem to do for this title. I absolutely loved it. Pleasure always reading you. Hope Christmas treats you well, sending you light always.. definitely a fave for me too
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