Best Lawsuit Poems
Copy and paste can be detrimental if used in the wrong place
Such as posting and plagiarizing poems from another’s space
The time and energy it may take to search for poems to steal
It is a waste of time if you’re not going to be authentic and real
It’s also a crime to take credit for stolen art, poems or any other copied matter
And only a matter of time before a lawsuit may be served from a silver platter
It must be a type of severe mental illness or some type of character flaw
To want to claim poems as yours, that are not, is against the law
It would behoove you to think before you continue to copy and paste and post
We are on to your shenanigans and the deceitful liars are despised the most
Please remove your pathetic copied and pasted posts and leave our page
Because your reputation, integrity and legal recourse may be a lot to wage
The lawsuit by StarKist is valid.
Their long time promoter’s new ballad
warns fish to stay clear
of fisherman’s pier,
or end up in somebody’s salad!
Oldie For Carolyn Devonshire's Sea Tales Limericks
Entered Nov 20, 2020 for the 'QUIN-TO your five line' Poetry Contest
Grandma got run over by a reindeer
I'm sure you remember that song
Well that was my grandma who was hit
And again, they got part of it wrong
See, she really was run over by reindeer
But it was nothing like they said
Those deer were driving a milk truck
That left my poor grandma nearly dead
My poor grandma just got done milking
And was putting the cows back in the field
When eight drunk reindeer in a milk truck
Crashed thru the fence and didn't yield
They just kept on going thru the barn yard
Straight thru the creek and down the hill
Grandma looked like a bug on a windshield
With pieces of her wig on that milk truck's grill
Now poor grandma never seen it coming
Cause she was looking the other way
We even found that poor womans glasses
Stuck on a scarecrow near the hay
Well, now my grandma had not been drinking
Like that song had claimed she was
But somehow they try to make it funny
Seems like those city folk always does
Well, that's about as much as I can tell you
Because the lawsuit is still pending
Those reindeer got some north pole lawyer
And we heard he's pretty good at defending
So beware of reindeer driving milktrucks
For they mean to cause your grandma harm
And don't forget try to remind your grandmas
To look both ways when she leaves the barn
Cream puffs, pies, and chocolate brownies
Should surely be banned from the planet
They have no real value, no redeeming factor
We stuff our faces like gannets
Moms always says, “Johnie's got a sweet tooth”
So when he chows down like a pig
It gives him the okay to eat gobs of this stuff
Till he no longer can dance a jig
Now there ain't nuttin' bad 'bout being obese
Some very famous people are blimps
Won't name them here for the fear of a lawsuit
It would leave me tattered and limp
But cream puffs, pies, and chocolate brownies
Are delicious morning, noon, and night
For breakfast, lunch, or important meetings
They're evil but such a delight!
© Jack Ellison 2013
Hydro bill
Visa bill
Food bill
Toilet paper bill
Heating bill
Wine bill
Car bill
Phone bill
Clothing bill
Duck bill
Buffalo bill
Entertainment bill
Anti acids tablets bill
Insurance bill
Bar bill
House bill
Weed bill
Bakery bill
Starbucks bill
Medical bill
Psychotic drugs bill
Dental bill
Legal bill
( for murdering dentist)
Lawn bill
Maid bill
Sexy maid bill
Super sexy maid bill
Misc hookers bill
Feminists lawsuit bill
Internet bill
Cable bill
Speeding ticket bill
Second speeding ticket bill
(to pay first bill)
Drivers license bill
Tic-Tac bill
Kidney replacement bill
Second wine bill
Netflix bill
Barber bill
Uber bill
Russian translation bill
Predator Bill
Y-Bush bill
Donald Trump
Assassination bill
Legal bill
Alimony bill
Stormy bill
Goose Lawsuit
Gander
Slander
Owl’s Knock Knock Joke
Who Who
Cuckoo?
Hen with Bad Illness
Stricken
Chicken
Bird Hits Windshield
Smidgeon
Pigeon
Art Gallery. Museum. Parks. Zoo.
Cultural Events.
Glazed like raku pottery
In charcoal rainbows warbled all dark
On pidgeon necks
Like hell’s angels, dumbed,
Blowing smoke through your mind
In a haze of dreams
The city is made of a giant fractal wart
On a witch’s cheeks there’s blush.
Movies. Games. Bars. Clubs.
Cultural Events.
Maybe she’s singing a hymn
With forked tongue
The green fires burning gold and money
Into the skies pitch red
Flirting and skirting sale-priced
Fashion iconography. Architecture
Sophisticating the simple desires.
You’re lost.
Foreclosure. Lawsuit. Divorce.
Cultural Events.
Emblazoned with some valor
Flags of the dead days
Killed like a haiku short-lived
Plopped one by one
Your teeth fell.
Bankruptcy. Fired. Laid off.
Cultural Events.
Brightly darkly the shiny sheens
Of sweat they bubbled in blood red and iron
In that champagne of success
Guilt. Acne. Alcohol. Headache.
Cultural Events.
The feather dust flies and the smell of tar
Rubber in your face
We have drug solutions for your
Unhappiness.
Cancer. HIV. Vaccines. Death.
Cultural Events.
Beer gardens, beer babies, beer bellies,
Beds, homes, and wined babes
Pretty victims and voices they make
Cultural Events.
The city life careened my poetry
Towards those
Crazy wronged right fools
Still swimming the street in search
Furtive, arms afire just fighting
Firing, fleeing into those chains.
Claims. Refrains. Drowned Voices.
Cultural Events.
All of the wrongs we have done to each other,
We will overlook...
W's lawsuit against my church, because they will not permit him to smoke there,
My interminable and intolerable lateness,
J's calling me, 'pathetic',
MY frustration with W's 'INCORRECT' political opinions,
W's insults, via text message,
MY chauvinism about my religion...
J's unpleasant, unfriendly criticism...
ALL these, we will overlook...
And give each other a good ribbing!
It was my birthday 3 days ago, and W buys me breakfast,
And J gives me a birthday gift,
And we all decide to like each other again --
That is, as long as I am willing to take
A proper beating at chess... THREE TIMES!
And it's all good!
All of the wrongs, we don't mention them.
Except, I squeeze W's shoulder, when I come up, and gently remind him
That we agreed to meet on Saturday...
(They called me today, impatient -- it's Friday -- to say, they are WAITING for me)
And "...oh, did I say SATURDAY?" W asks, wryly, and we all laugh,
And it's all good!
We have forgotten the arguments.
I ask for the family news, and it's all good!
You see, each of us knows,
You cannot replace ONE Friendship, with BEING RIGHT.
So, each of us silently admits to himself
That he was wrong,
And we smile, and it's all good!
And THAT'S the Kindness of Men.
Jaimin sir, a kind man, with smile cute,
Prepared for supporting me in lawsuit
Is ready to fight against any odd acute;
Managing school and university with astute.
In the premises everyone does salute!
Revered for his perseverance which dilute
All miseries, anxieties and commute
Joyfully with him in leisure to compute
Your mistakes and victories that overshoot.
All liked him for his ability to refute.
Grumped man speaks cool like flute
Under omnipresence, one who does hoot
Ruins his own impression and does salute;
Unacceptable people do get execute
Surely; teachers like me are with parachute
Inspired by him to remove Prafulla persecute,
Remove such drastic elements for institute.
Revoking Doc's License #1
A word from the State Medical Board committee
The #1 injection will always be P.D.
Doc, I am considering to slam you out of pity
I do not mess with poets whose licenses come from Hello Kitty.
You overdose my patient RED, getting down to the nitty gritty.
At this time, your practice has been revoke
For coming after me as I wear my black cloak.
I got a grip on my scythe pressed against your throat.
Pees running down your legs leaving you all soak
Doc, I got your body full of Narcotics and Painkillers as a joke.
Dropping you like a lawsuit on the examination table with one smack.
Denying you morphine as your vasectomy goes wrong in this attack
I already drove you insane labeling you a quack.
Your hand I flushed in (TRANQUILIZER), slapping you with a black Jack.
Waking up without your gems blood all over your sack.
Restrain you in a straitjacket, throwing you in a padded room.
Covered in your own s*it as you were in your mother’s womb
Poet-ing like a disco biscuit on ecstasy, before I made you go SKAT-boom!
Engraving your Poetic Doctor Degree on the outside of your tomb.
With the words that speak, P.D. was the cause of your poetic doom.
by;P.D.
My golden ego soars higher than yours
I can hold my breath longer underwater
of course,
because my publican lungs are stronger than yours
I can outshout your taxing voice
to the heavens with a prideful text roar
I’m the big button lying king,
that’s for truth ducky sure
Everything I have is bigger than yours
Exaggeration is a lawsuit I wear well,
fancy-laced shegnanians is the shoes I boot you with —
Patent leather pardon free get-out-of-jail
Put a deflecting shine on the witness stand,
make the gullible masses
see me as being smarter than I really am
I bigly roll with the donor class society swells
I take a bigger leak from my Wall Street
inside trader executive bathroom Tower mole tell
My greed is bigger than yours ...
Got great white sharkey needs,
on little flunky guppies I love to gorge
My cyber jaws are bigger than life,
that’s why
Tricky Twitter Moby Dick I
voted for myself ruble roulette twice
I’m a most unpopular populist prez
with no moral boundaries
Don’t try to fence me in,
make me chicken scratch fake news little again
My nihilistic narcissism is bigger than yours,
you best believe
I can sexually harass
better than Willie Boy Clinton
could ever achieve
I’m a business caveman
whose twin brass clubs are bigger than yours
I’ll take your woman,
and with a misogynist leash make her walk on all fours
My serial debts
are bankrupt corrupt much bigger than yours
I bowl a perfect money laundry game
with a mob marked counterfeit score
Mine covetousness is so much bigger than yours
Got more trophy wives than you do,
so king me on the divorce checkerboard
My nuclear button boasts are bombastic bigger than yours ...
and I’ll blow you out the water onto barren refugee shores,
if you don’t lip bow unbutton inflate —
Balloon buffoon infatuate on the dreams I daily tweet snore
Was at a hearing with my attorney
She was more childish than Bert and Ernie
Played I-Pod video games
My anger sure was in flames
Years had passed since I began this journey
But my sexual harassment lawsuit
Totally ignored by this pompous coot
Ordering shoes online
Forgetting this case of mine
It was clear she just didn’t give a hoot
My suit’s outcome would have been much better
If I had hired an Irish Setter
Her actions were criminal
My settlement minimal
In my next novel I’ll surely get her
She had predicted I would get much more
My dignity she never did restore
As she won her online game
My harasser escaped blame
Lawyers and video games I abhor
*Based on a true experience!
Entry for Natalie’s “Cell Phones in the Sauna – What Annoys You” contest
Everybody is shocked by my lawsuit and because I won.
I sued a Convent because they wouldn't let me be a Nun.
They said that I couldn't be a Nun because I'm a man.
I kept begging to be a Nun so much that I was banned.
When they rejected me, it really hurt my feelings and one of my problems is my vanity.
A Funny Farm put me in a straight jacket because they said that I suffer from insanity.
I was told that I can only be a Priest or a Monk.
It was sexual discrimination and it really stunk.
I'll be wealthy when the Convent pays me.
Why does everybody keep calling me crazy?
(This is a fictional poem)
1 back injury
2 back surgerys
3 pain pills
1 muscle relaxer
1 depression pill
1 drop foot
1 brace to wear
0 dollars in the bank account
1 job lossed
26,000 dollars settled for
1 attorney whos weird
1 lawsuit
3 more pain pills
24 hours of pain
5 doctors seen
1 surgeon who cut me open
2 metal rods
16 staples in my back
7 days in the hospital
100,000's of dollars that work comp paid out
Still I'm stuck with 1 big headache that doesn't seem to end
All from 1 5second mistake at work
Nothing important happened today,
according to an omission
in the local newspaper Metro page
The death of my best friend ... my husband,
this sad story of injustice was missing
Such a horrible ghetto tragedy
wasn’t worth one drop of black ink
A bucket of widow tears,
and a heavy casket of stolen years
ain’t much to write about
Their light compassion darkly color my thoughts
The coroner said specifically more,
though the jargon was impersonal and technical:
Six bullets ... cranial hemorrhage,
two collapsed lungs ... four broken ribs
And a beautiful face unrecognizable
from a brutal beating
My loving spouse was last seen getting stopped
by two police squad cars
Handcuffed and whisked away,
my beloved took a cold visit to the morgue
later that day
Nothing out of the ordinary happened
is what the police arrest report said:
Belligerent attitude ... refused to eat his food,
got violent when questioned ... didn’t follow any of the rules
The dry report clinically concluded:
Suspect resisted in the interrogation room,
and reached for an officer’s weapon
Fear for a lawman’s life
obviously was priority number one
Deadly force was justified, so they say
But, what about the beatings before the discharge of the gun?
Oh, all of the accused officers
got a medal pinned on their professional life
The judge tossed the lawsuit out ... said it was simply
the vengeful rantings of a grief-stricken wife
My meek, mild-mannered man
was slanderously portrayed
as a drug addict who went berserk
Truth be told with a graffiti spray can;
pure honesty sackcloth arrayed,
he died going on his way to work
Nothing too important happened today,
just another ghetto funeral parade
Nothing that important happened today;
truth got covered up and buried,
as the arbiters of justice looked the other way
Nothing too important happened today,
only black shrouded pain on public display
Mental distress note to self:
My personal tragedy occurred on a Wednesday