Best Jack Poems

Eighty two years young, but still a trooper,
pen writes daily, he's an evergreen souper.
Behold the limerick king and his wisdom,
providing laughs from his humorous kingdom.

Five posts a day, one is bound to make you smile,
some a little naughty, but that's his cheeky style.
Long before his...

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Yesterday I saw a very creepy mouse, 
Sneaking right through my front door, 
He was wearing tails and a top black hat 
And dragging a large suitcase too 

When he saw me, he run inside, 
And past me he sped so fast, 
Into the kitchen...

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I saw him on the highway
Thought he was insane
Standing with his thumb out 
In the pouring rain
I don't usually stop for hitchhikers
But something said I should
Besides, it was raining awful hard
And the wind was blowing good.
I said, "Hop in, it's cold out there.
Where you headed...

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Jack and Jill went up the hill
With thoughts of making love
Jack hadn’t got a condom 
So cut a finger off Jill’s glove
The glove was far too small for him
And it didn’t fit his todger
Now they are proud parents
Of a baby they called Rodger!

1st October 2016

Another...

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Tale Of Righteous And Just Demise Of Old Jack

Old Jack had shot many before, once just for the sheer hell of it
Never squeamish about the gore or splattered about fleshy bits
Once making it an all night spree, drinking whiskey after each shot
Only once did he...

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A.W. Nutter

Pounding the pulpit with his fist
Sweat dripping from his brow
Preaching about Gods top ten list
The sinful Jews with their golden cow

Same old messages still in place
Pastor Jack’s patterns haven’t changed
Fear written on the altar boy’s face
A secret meeting has been arranged

Prayers end, the congregation...

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you're a D.J
you're a preacher
a carer or
 a teacher
you're a painter
you're a builder
you're a bouncer
or announcer
you're a chef!
you're a doctor
you're a dentist
 you're a chemist
or a nurse!
you're a lawyer
you're a sales rep
or a vet!
 all having your possesions
 all having your professions
   ...

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Old Jack hated Halloween night.
The constant ringing of his doorbell
he didn't like. So he turned off his
household lights.
   His wife said, "Why did you go and 
do that, Jack?" he replied "They
won't see the house, and I'll get
some rest!"
    Little...

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Listen, my dears, and I'll tell you a tale
Of a princess, a pirate, and glory.
There's a shipwreck, a rescue,
A romance, a ransom,
And a handicapped whale in the story.

There once was a princess, fairest of all,
But also quite vain and spoiled rotten.
She had a semi-private
Affair with...

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I got the bad news today, we were loosing a friend.
One of our best Limerick writers Jack Ellison.
 Ailments are no surprise when growing older in age.
A new Chapter in Jacks life as he leaves, and turns the page.
 His Writings came from his heart,...

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I am Jack and I live on a farm,
was born in the barn one of many;
oh, I am the only cat with charm,
but my best friend is the horse- Penny.

Was born in the barn . . .  one of many,
oh, I like all of...

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Crushed by the weight
Of depression
When it was all I could do
I moved it just enough
To send a smile to you




For Jack Ellison
9/20/2019...

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The incredible shooting display put on by "Sir" Jack, 

Teaches a basic tenet of basketball that remains still, 

You can expand your game from the outside 

and considerably broaden your skill, 

With accuracy you can keep defenders off-guard, 

You can shake 'em or hit one...

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Lantern of the Shadowed Glade

In shadowed glades where spirits dwell,
Beneath the boughs of an ancient spell. 
A pumpkin awaits, its fate foretold,
By tomes of old and tales untold.

Carved with care by children’s hands,
A toothy grin upon its face expands.
Yet, within those haunting, hollowed eyes,
Lies a...

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My grandma was a steeple jack, 
Of heights she had no fear.
The crowds would gather round to watch.
They came from far and near, 
 
To see her swing and pirouette, 
Doff her hat and wave.
And gasped and cheered each time she feigned
A slip and then...

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