Best Grammar Poems
I am a curled up comma
When I sleep, so give me pause.
I’m sentenced to insomnia
Which grips me in its clause.
I’m subject to a poor night’s rest;
That’s predicated on
The fact that I have tossed and turned
Each night that’s come and gone.
Don’t question if I’m in control
Or I’ll get out of joint
And answer very forcefully
With exclamation point.
The night’s a restless period
And though I barely sleep,
My colon and its semi-friends
My secrets somehow keep.
Grammar
When it comes to grammar
I always break the rules
I am from the old school
I never adhere to the “do and don’t
I am a devious character indeed... oh! guess what!
My Dali lama teaching
Was never influential because
Nothing else matters to me
I am who I am
Prose and complete
And most of the time
Politically or grammatical incorrect
Whatever, or whoever I am.
I am a poetess with a mean ***** switch
my main focus is to get my point across
Artful and prose; I play the devil’s advocate
Guilty as charge, I am in charge of my anthology
No outsiders can never curve my pen
To construct a well written poem
When I am on a roll I never stop to compose
Or worry about starting my sentences with “and our but”
Even if it makes me clunky; no biggie that me
I have no intention of offering a toast
or pretend I am your host at your table.
I am the artful dodger, I know how to submit and watch
As my pen become public enemy number one.
(mostly to some)
Sorry my master! My mentor, Dali lama (my conscience)
...................................................................
May I examine my mind in all actions?
And as soon as a negative state occurs,
Since it endangers me and others,
May I firmly face and avert it. : Quote Dali Lama
Brutus said to Cicero, “Hang on, let me get this straight-
A Hypernym's a collective noun?” “No, no”, said Cicero, “wait-
I'll give you an example if you let me have a minute,
'Weapon' is a Hypernym and all the hardware in it,
the swords, tridents, ballistas that are used by Roman forces
are Hyponyms, component parts, but not including horses”.
“By Jupiter! I've got it now!'” young Marcus Brutus yelled.
“Like Galantine” Cicero averred, “it finally has gelled.
I told you I could make it clear, Nullifidian no longer,
so Quid pro Quo- get out your purse and pay my invoiced Wonga”.
“ But what's an Antonym” said Brutus, “thought I'd throw that at ya”
“It's your best mate” sighed Cicero, “who married Cleopatra”.
THE STRANGE CASE OF THE PREPOSITION
The preposition is a peculiar case
No use on its own by itself with no function
It needs an attachment to have any place
Alone would decease, be due extreme unction
Now some words may act without others at hand
Such as Nouns as a labels and verbs as imperatives
E.g. LADIES or GENTLEMEN and Sit! or Stand!
Independent with neither associates nor relatives
But the preposition needs some things to relate
To connect the verb with a noun, phrase or clause
To bring them together unite and collate
In that it has a noble cause
In days of old when they spoke in tongues classical
The use of the preposition they would scorn
They had case endings for same purpose grammatical
So you could even say it need never have been born
But while you don't need 'to', 'of' or 'by' or 'with
When you've dative, genitive and ablative
Old prep does the job, should have respect accorded
And it brings words together so for that should be lauded
I know the fact that it's Facebook
it somehow gives you an excuse not to abide
by even the most basic of grammar rules.
And I admit seeing an apostrophe
where it's not needed kills me a bit inside.
But, alas, I will restrain myself
from starting any spelling duels.
The truth is you just wouldn't win,
not even the slightest chance.
And even if you did there would be
no satisfaction on your behalf.
It would always come back again
to the same redundant dance;
me - taking the time to voice my message clearly,
and you having a big hair-pulling laugh.
It's true, there is a great deal of time saved,
cutting the words short and omitting punctuation.
But by God it's like throwing away
years of hard-earned education!
I wouldn't mind writing like a five-year-old
(aside from the fact I'm almost twenty).
Some say it's nothing to fret about -
isn't the rest of the world's problems plenty?
The fact is writing is one of the few things
I can keep in order
(Lord knows my room doesn't fit the bill!).
So if by chance you find yourself,
staring zombie-eyed Into a computer screen,
with extra time to fill,
I hope that you will remember your I before E except C's,
that you will recall the three different there's of English.
Maybe someday you too will join
this small club of Grammar Nazis.
Perhaps you'll find there's more to words
than just ink on a page...
For you have the whole world within you,
first step is too climb out of your cage.
Rote an esay
Cheked IT twise
Lot's a' mistakes
Graide not so nice...
I yused comas
Perfetley placed paws
"2 much incoheeseivenes"
I cant, brake up a, claws
Yused fulstops.
not tolong a .sentense
But teecher. was furryous
Marked down with a venjance
Did exclamashons!
Sumtimes .3 @ once!!!!
& YUSED CAPS 2 SHOUT!!
Butt "you ownly need one,!!"
Coalon,
Wen I need 2 maik: lists
Rote my: Faverit, tv shos
But: teecher were: p*ssed
Semicoalons;
Wen, I need 2 look: smart!!
nut shure wat. they do; But
the esay ritings really hard!!!
[93 werds]
GRAMMAR ALWAYS RULES
If if and and were pots or pans
There would be fewer conjunctions
But when because or some such word
Was changed into utensil it became absurd
For although since the demise of if and and
There have been no other losses grand
Nevertheless, heretofore, notwithstanding
The loss, we must retain our conjunctioning
The Grammar Nazis Will Get You
By Elton Camp
The grammar police are on patrol
Writings they seldom will extol
For how can they possibly commend
A preposition at a sentence’s end
Your write they have so much hated
For it violated a rule now antiquated
Should a comma be put out of place
They react as if it’s a major disgrace
If a spelling error you should make,
It’s, “Oh my, for goodness sake!”
To show their victims that you care,
Comfort with, “There, they’re, their.”
The curse of grammar
The curse of grammar includes spelling
Witches and wizards stewed it from far away
They’d like to make your heads sway
They used eyes of cats
Boiling them in copper pots
The refined magic brew is spread as chemtrails
Unclearly set spelling rules make us clumsy
Uncertain article rules make us crazy
Who cares if countable or uncountable?
Only people who are grindable or findable
My native tangue is Japanese, and I am not a English native speaker.
I suffer from English grammar very much.
Veni, vidi, vici
Julius conquers us
The imperators' command and rule
Inflation and decay ends Roman Britain
Their legacy inhabits our grammar
Should reigns supreme
Over would and could
I abhor
Those that feel it’s their chore
To toilet paper my creative door
With their opinions that lack color
I’d rather hear a walrus snore
If not for self expression what’s poetry for
By Robb A. Kopp
All Rights Reserved © MMX
Durin' my shaky academic career I was an 'A' pupil in gym and art,
But when it came to parsin' sentences, my grades just fell apart!
I could never get the drift or hang of puzzlin' English grammar,
Tho' teachers tried to pound such in my skull with not a too gentle hammer!
Beyond me was the understandin' and use of conjunctions,
Nor did I perceive anything about indefinite articles and their functions.
Predicates and past and present tenses I would not dare define,
Nor could I figger out how verbs and adverbs intertwine.
The definition and use of nouns and pronouns gave me a fit,
And describing adjectives, well, I could hardly pronounce or spell it.
I could not conceive the rules regardin' simple interjections,
And Lord have mercy if teach called on me to explain prepositions!
Somehow I muddled through English classes to gain my degree,
But I could have done without parsin' sentences if'n it was left up to me!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
The Grammar Years
On that train an hour ago,
though he did not see me,
I saw a teacher I had years ago,
a proper man was he
who in the margins of my papers
wrote short sermons in a script
so perfect and so neat
they looked like samplers.
But on that train an hour ago
I glowed in exultation when I saw
his index finger pluck
a small erratum from his nose.
Donal Mahoney
What is the past tense of Quit?
a. Quitted
b. Quitten
c. Quitude
d. Quittined
e. None of the above
Which of the following is the correct meaning of Alacrity
a. Stubborn, unwilling
b. Alarming, Surprising
c. Mediocrity
d. Eagerness
e. None of the above
What word in the English language is always spelled incorrectly
a. Accommodate
b. Wednesday
c. Necessary
d. Fuchsia
e. None of the above
How would you rate this test
a. It was a great test
b. It was an enjoyable experience
c. It was a very easy test
d. This test deserves a 10
e. All of the above
2-1-2023
The Multiple Choice Poem Poetry Contest
Suzanne Delaney
“Ringo Starr” is your popular name.
With it, you have achieved fame.
Few people know you as “Richard Starkey”.
That is the name you use legally.
You were the drummer for a four-piece band all would know.
However, you parted ways with them long ago.
From there, you became a solo recording artist.
You had a hit song that topped Billboard‘s list.
Everybody’s familiar with “It Don’t Come Easy”.
You sold lots of records, and made a lot of money.
There is a bit of faulty grammar I see:
“It Doesn’t Come Easily” is saying it properly.
Your song became popular once it hit the air.
As for your grammar, nobody seems to care.
Your performances still garner many cheers.
You have been quite famous all these years.
Entered in Dr. Ram's Quatern Contest