Baffling English Grammar

Durin' my shaky academic career I was an 'A' pupil in gym and art, But when it came to parsin' sentences, my grades just fell apart! I could never get the drift or hang of puzzlin' English grammar, Tho' teachers tried to pound such in my skull with not a too gentle hammer! Beyond me was the understandin' and use of conjunctions, Nor did I perceive anything about indefinite articles and their functions. Predicates and past and present tenses I would not dare define, Nor could I figger out how verbs and adverbs intertwine. The definition and use of nouns and pronouns gave me a fit, And describing adjectives, well, I could hardly pronounce or spell it. I could not conceive the rules regardin' simple interjections, And Lord have mercy if teach called on me to explain prepositions! Somehow I muddled through English classes to gain my degree, But I could have done without parsin' sentences if'n it was left up to me! Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired