Best Bandy Poems
Ocie the Ocelot liked words a lot!
As a tot, words like dot and trot hit the spot
Then, getting older, the folder on her shoulder grew bolder
What was once handy stopped ringing so dandy
Craving vocabulary candy to bandy
She sought what she ought, to form lukewarm to hot
Mooshu, the emu guru, knew what to do
To bring notice and gain focus
Journey there, to the oracle's lair
The fortress of Morris the Thesaurus Tortoise
When she approached his door, saying, "I want more!"
His smile creased - he replied, "Your covet's increased!"
She confessed her distress at being a pest
But he said, "My dear, you're not stubborn - you're tenacious!
You're not merely aware - you're perspicacious!"
It's not only knowledge; it's proficiency, cognition, discernment
For ideas, impressions, concepts, brainstorming segments
Be bold, audacious, intrepid, resolute, gallant
Credit your capacity, flair, savvy, talent
Evade the cliche, the commonplace, the trite
Clamp on, lacerate, masticate, bite!
Hours freed, for her need to succeed
Then, at the end, one final creed to heed-
Don't fall a slave to the misbehaving knave
Sometimes, the simpler speech is the one to save.
3/4/19
Poem of the Day 3/06/19
Chocolate Fountain Abuse- for the lover
How easily I forget I'm allergic to chocolate
I want to dip the exquisite kosher in a Spanish brandy
Sweet, sweet, cavity tarnish boxes of chocolate
At a store window; a dried up chocolate fantasy goblet
A taste of spoiled milk, nothing dandy with this candy
How easily I forgot I was allergic to chocolate
Snickers Bar, melting under the spotlight for-profit
Not edible, waging unassertive words like a pansy
Sweet, sweet, cavity tarnish boxes of chocolate
Chocolate pop, a candy bar coming out of the closet
There was not much bandy, about this candy
It's easy to forgot I'm allergic to chocolate
Stubby nuts, stomachache, bucket of vomit
Butterflies, flipping when I hear a faucet of cocoa candy
Sweet, sweet, cavity tarnish boxes of chocolate
Enrobed with small nuts, it dwells under the pocket
Caramel and peanuts American walnut vigilante
How easily I forgot I was allergic to chocolate
Sweet, sweet, cavity tarnish boxes of chocolate
~?~
7/10/14
Put on his red bathers you're joking
Too tight something out front it was poking
found another old pair
to cover up pubic hair
He's now off to the ocean for soaking
Now he's looking quite bronze and quite fancy
Ready to meet his girlfriend who's called Nancy
on the sand they will walk
hold hands while they talk
One day she might be his fiancee
Find a spot that's private and shady
to skinny dip with his beautiful lady
several others have come
they see his lily white bum
His girl's given surname it's O'grady
From ocean water body's cool, appetisingly salty
Sun burnt skin's feeling sore and quite faulty
He wants to bonk on the shore
She says no that's for sure
He says your excuse is unloving and paltry
His ex girlfriends name was Cecelia
Too often he wanted to feel her
with legs very bandy
he was often so randy
In the sun in in the hay made love to this sheila
Now this oversexed man so begotten
So naughty they smacked his big bottom
but he wasn't deterred
still did what he preferred
Loved underwear made out of soft cotton
Now it's summer he's feeling quite warm
Many old tricks he does often perform
out in his work shed
there's a double sized bed
Where they shed all the clothes that are worn
It's now time for a warm summer party
Can attend it's casual not arty farty
still daylight at nine
have a whopping good time
Good conversation and laughter that's hearty
They hung around the beer joint with the finest Western wear
with thumbs tucked in their belt loops and such a studly air.
But those boots weren't made for stirrups and were polished to a sheen,
and on those fancy cowboy hats not a sweat stain could be seen.
You could be sure they hadn't spent much time around a branding pot,
for the only brands they recognized were ones on stuff they bought.
And if they ever passed the time just musing 'bout their spread,
it'd be the one around their middle or the one they put on bread.
Just a bunch of cowboy wannabes in a modern masquerade,
but they drove the biggest pickup trucks that Detroit ever made.
The beds were big and beautiful without a scratch or scuff inside,
'cause the only thing they hauled around was a horse's big backside.
As they stood around outside the joint, in a smart-ass state of mind,
in pulled an ancient pickup with an old horse trailer hitched behind.
The truck an old green Chevy, year 'bout nineteen fifty-nine,
with two high wooden sideboards stacked with hay bales bound with twine.
Out stepped a skinny hombre, with steel-blue eyes and bandy legs,
but he had a rippling six-pack while all the boozers sported kegs.
His cowboy hat was sweat-stained; high-heeled boots were dusty gray;
he kicked off a chunk of cow pie, then he grabbed a bale of hay.
He was mighty parched and dusty, but he wouldn't quench his thirst
'cause you're not an honest cowboy unless you water horses first.
The pack of fools gave out a hoot, yelled "Hey there, Texas Pete!
Get yourself a man-sized truck and take that geezer off the street!"
As he finished with the horses, up walked two ladies smokin' hot.
The cowboy promptly doffed his hat, while the posers there did not.
The cowboy got a long admiring look and the rounders just a sneer,
as the sham was so apparent when a real cowboy was near
They flashed the dusty cowboy a big ol' smile 'bout ten miles wide...
Said "Honey, would a gent like you care to escort us gals inside?"
He winked, then gave the trucks a look and spat a stream of juice.
Said, "Boys, y'all's might be bigger, but mine gets a sight more use."
There once was a young man called Rodger
Who’s very transfixed with his todger
From morning till night
He gets his delight
Now he shares his bed with his lodger
The lodger her name was Sandy
Was always ready and randy
They’d make love all night
But then they took fright
When Rodgers legs went all bandy
Submitted to New or Old 5 Contest Sponsored by Eve Roper
29 ~12~14
When Mandy met Randy
Oh boy her legs went bandy
She began to walk like John Wayne …
Looked like she was in a lot of pain
But Mandy had a huge smile on her face
And her nights with Randy kept that smile in place
They have the most incredible sex life -
Randy has stopped sleeping with his wife
Randy’s wife her name is Brandy
Met Mandy’s hubby his name is Sandy
So Mandy and Randy and Brandy and Sandy
Have done a partner swap, oh isn’t that handy!
11~26~16
My son has a new dog called Brandy
By jingo that pup is so randy
He caused quite a to do
When he humped my left shoe
No wonder his legs are so bandy!
07-07-17
Thou lay'st like a rose on deaths pillow
Silent and still, unsoothed by lifes request
Asleep the dawns and days of all and all
Eternity. My lovely Juliet
Wherefore art thou companions company?
Dost thou mockest life? "O my love, my wife!
Death, that hath suck'd the honey of thy breath
Hath had no power yet upon thy beauty"
Knows't not you of these intense tears that grow
Onto your soil a river of a kind
Thou body blooms, unscarr'd from cheek to bone
Thus trees and rivers art jealous of thine scent
But be it may thy mouth will ne'er move
Upon itself to echoe, Romeo!
Nay life will ne'er become a friend in hand
And I to life a friend, nay, I think not
The sun and moon shalln't make for watching eyes
To view me with life and not with thee, my love
Thyself I say art bandy with thyself
Yet man of all, I'm troubled at thy race
'Twas not the serpent that reward Eve bale?
And God created man, and bale is man
For in our families doth men collide
To often foredo every innocent thing
With swords where-in great morning and lights night
Tis fineless feuds our families perform
What bravery to birth our tragedy!
I balk that flesh is where abodements lay
O wife, I canst o'er-crow life in thine distance
May I afront death as thy hath approach'd?
Perchance I die with drink. Ay, there's the rub!
No time to fettle, ay, at once death come
Into my life as I drink thee in full
Slowly thy soul escapes. Thou art foredone
Soon to bewray thyself with waiting wife
Romeo and Juliet; How tragic is love
7-8-11
Aussie stood in his chaff bag kilt,
bandy knees, didna give it, it's tilt,
the steam was arising too,
just come from woolloloo,
shiela said "man, Gawd but he's built."
thanks Dave Williams....
Nette,
if ya got it flaunt it,
some shiela said that's torn, wit,
Aussie kilts are yet denied,
though we have the Scottish pride,
just a promise it will fit:)
Don Johnson
I'M AS YOUNG AS I FEEL
I'M NOT GETTING OLD. I'M AS YOUNG AS CAN BE.
THERE'S NOTHING AT ALL THE MATER WIT ME.
MY HAIR IS NOT GRAY. THERE'S A SILVERY SHINE.
MY BACK IS NOT BENT I'VE A FANCY SHAPED SPINE.
WHEN I BREATHE, I DO NOT HAVE A WHEEZE.
I HAVE FUNNY SHAPED LEGS, BUT NOT BANDY KNEES.
MY TEETH ARE NOT GONE BECAUSE THE WERE OLD.
I EAT TOO MANY SWEETS, OR SO I'VE BEEN TOLD.
THESE HEARING AIDS, NOT FOR DEAFNESS, I'M SURE.
THEY SAY THAT PREVENTION IS BETTER THAN CURE.
I'M NOT GETTING SLOWER. I JUST TAKE MY TIME,
THE COLD DOESN'T GET ME. I ALWAYS FEEL FINE.
I DON'T HUFF AND PUFF MY WAY BACK FROM THE SHOP.
I DON'T GET TIRED AND DON'T HAVE TO STOP
YES, MY HAIR IS A LITTLE BIT LIGHT.
IT MUST HAVE BEEN THE SHAMPOO I WAS USING LAST NIGHT.
MY PULSE IS NOT DIM, IT'S JUST HARD TO FIND.
MY BONES ARE NOT BRITTLE, THERE ONE OF A KIND.
THESE ARE NOT WRINKLES, JUST MATURE SKIN.
I AM VERY WELL PROUD OF THE SHAPE I AM IN.
I'M AS FIT AS A FIDDLE, A SPRING CHICKEN STILL.
I AM NOWHERE NEAR OR OVER THE HILL.
THE GOLDEN AGE IS A LONG WAY AWAY.
UNTIL I AM READY, THATS WHERE IT CAN STAY.
BY SHIRLEY MOODY...
He stood on such bandy legs, shaking,
I thought he would fall. His cigarette
Puffing like the grey white clouds above.
A lone heron flies high and jagged
Like the tips of the mountains
That brush this clouded sky, and surround the sea
Where our ship skims the shore with its
Light, a star rising from the blue black depths:
Can we wait until the sun sets?
The sun shines in a friendly glow while the birds sing mating songs, searching for
that lost bond of intimate natural longing. Greenery illuminates the path through the
garden, colorfully decorating the atmosphere with contentment. Leaves drift
beatifically to their resting place in the aura of serenity; wisdom in the blossoms
wherein dastardly royalty is usurped by inane benevolence. Such generosity cannot
freely bandy about when originated from petulant systems of feigned philanthropy.
Evidence mystifies the instituted kindness with otherworldly martyrdom prevailing
over dynamically advantageous disproportion. A youthful sprite exudes sage
harmony that listens intently to ruminated introversion and callously disregards
obnoxious outburst. A twig snaps into seventy equivalent sections; equilibrium
begets solitude among the predetermined assortment. Begin again and sweetly
profound anew. Did it start? Nevermore, with the exception of a shift in the concept
of causality's influence: kleptomania for knowledge and acceptance of besmirched
spirits. Souls pine for an existential seed to spurt roots and permeate the dirty
confinement. Cyclical imperfection trudges through sludge, almost cinematic in its
unveiling. It is astounding in each fresh, yet repitious succession. A song skips lyrical
lust and jumps to instumental amelioration: The symphonic glory of all
encompassing, magnificent, eternal, ascending powerfully and synthetically
descending, original, cooperative, and unorthodox love.
Be not harried by apostasy spates
Surcease ye flux of basilic imprecations
Adhibit ye ,supernal paracletes
The pith of divinity
An Achates,
Vae victis
In this temporal realm
Chatoyant fanfaronade
Sursurrant congeries
Erelong abate
Shun the gaffer's gammon
Arcadian maundering
Avaunt kaleidoscopic zealotry
Bandy a cutlass perfervid
Ex aequo et bono
Beneficence's glaive bandies.
Preside atheling echt
In pharos of Nestor
Bestow succor to the augean Boeothians!
Malign them not--for now come the celestial shower
To halidom, shepard, solace and anele
Ye benighted churls
vocabulary- spate-flood; arcadian-rural/simple; echt-adj.-genuine; Nestor-the god of
wisdom; Achaetes-any faithful friend; chatoyant-possessing a changeable luster;
rein-v.-to curb or restrain; amative-amatory; anele-v.- to annoint; harry-to torment by
constant attack; perfervid-ardent/very fervid; ex aequo et bono-L.-according to the
principle of fairness and good; bandy-to beat to and fro; vae victic-L.-woe to the
vanquished; gammon-nonsense; gaffer- an old crone; flux-flow;
fanfaronade--n.-bragging/ostentation/bluster; congeries-heap; susurrant-adj-whispering;
basilic-lowly/base; pith-vigor/force/strength; supernal-celestial; imprecations-curses;
halidom-a holy place/holiness; Pallas Athena-Gr.goddess of wisdom; quotha-arch.-indeed!
Forsooth!; paracletes-someone who aids and supports; glaive-sword; pharos-lighthouse;
atheling-ancient crown prince; adhibit-to let in/admit; benighted-adj-overtaken by
darkness; bestead-to aid; anele-to annoint; contemn-v.-to view with contempt; solace-n.
comfort in sorrow
They come alive within her dreams each night,
as eyelids close, her parents take the stage,
back to a time when everything's alright,
both of them show no ravages of age.
Domestic scenes, times past, her part she plays
as conversations bandy to and fro,
I lie still and hear everything she says,
what they are speaking I shall never know.
These dramas never come at her behest,
only when her subconscious wields it's powers,
a sudden cry, from it's hold she is wrest,
awake she now sobs in the darkest hours.
They say time heals all wounds, this is not so
when through the years those left just can't let go.
I woke up to see such a ginormous granny.
I woke up to inhale the aroma of the gravy.
I woke up in a surrounding full of grouchy.
Though am little grumpy but am like a guppy.
I woke up in splushy bumpy.
Not realising the damnable bandy.
I woke up in an oblivious jollity not realising the grumpy.
I woke up in an obtruded home but full of jolly.
I woke up from a past of gaily to a present of gaiety.
I woke up in a palace full of golden plumy.
I woke up in a friendly planet not noticing the bumpy.
I woke up in a titanic not realising the pirates are in the suits of piracy.
I woke up in a house which was soo plasticky.
I woke up in rapacious atmosphere which has boost my rapacity.
I woke up in a state of rascal but never mind cos,is such a rarity.
I woke up in yunkee so dont expect me to be wishy -washy.
I woke up in a ginormous family that is too unwieldy.