Please submit one or more limericks to form a string of poems on any subject EXCEPT sport- it's not that I don’t like sport but if you wrote about say American football I probably wouldn’t see the joke.
Limericks are often bawdy but please keep in mind that we do have children who are on the site so please do not make the poem offensive
Definition
A limerick is a five-line, often humorous and ribald poem with a strict meter. Lines 1, 2, and 5 of have seven to ten syllables (three metrical feet) and rhyme with one another. Lines 3 and 4 have five to seven (two metrical feet) syllables and also rhyme with each other. The rhyme scheme is usually "A-A-B-B-A"
POOR WEE MAN
My unfortunate uncle named Rick
Was endowed with a very small wick
But he was still quite able
To impregnate aunt Mable
Who gave birth to a son they called Dick
PETER PUGH
I once knew an old bloke called Peter
Whose body could smell so much sweeter
He stank of stale wee
B O and coffee
T’was worse when he sat by the heater!
His daughter whose name is Anita
Tried hard to help Peter smell sweeter
He bathes twice a day
She gave him some spray
From Peter there is no foul fetor!
I will primarily be focusing on humour - the more humourous I find the limerick the higher you will place. I want people to have fun so I will not be insisting on strict meter but do try your best . The syllable count for the lines must be consistent and it must rhyme.
I use http://www.howmanysyllables.com/ to check the syllables
rules
1 No names
2 NEW limericks only dated from today about anything EXCEPT sport
3 Make sure the poem uses exact rhyme and check the syllable count is correct
4 The only title that is acceptable is 'LIMERICK CONTEST' BUT if your poem is bawdy please write 'LIMERICK CONTEST - BAWDY'.
***** PLEASE WRITE YOUR OWN CLEVER TITLE ABOVE THE ACTUAL BODY OF THE POEM*****
5 Have fun
Submit one copy of your poem online. Format your poem. Please make your entry easy to read — no illustrations or fancy fonts.
Poems should be in English. Poems translated from other languages are not eligible, unless you wrote both the original poem and the translation.
You are welcome to enter this contest, whether or not you won a prize in one of my previous contests.