If you wake up on the wrong side of the bed,
how do you know which is the wrong side?
My wife always gets up on the right side-that’s how I know.
You woke up late
You woke up tripping
You woke up hot
You woke up on the wrong side of the bed
You woke up with mad
You woke up grateful
You woke up lonely
You woke up with a headache
You woke up happy
You woke up sad
You woke up horny
You woke up feeling bad
You woke up tired…
But the good news is… You woke up.
There was a time when I thought blue was red
I woke up from the wrong side of the bed
And my dreams were all caught in purple haze
Like wandering around a swirling maze
Kept going forth and back too many times
And my ears kept ringing my dizzy chimes
While my shadows chased the keys to my chain
Like a sparrow caught in a hurricane
At times, the flow of the morning is bright
But my eyes won't see the gleam of my light
Everything was capped in mist of gray
Wondering when do my clouds go away
10 syllables per line
Discombobulation poetry contest
10th place
Ignorance is bliss said the uneducated Miss
Take the tiger by the tail, and then give a hiss.
A snake in the grass thought outside of the box
You can’t judge a book by its cover, said the ox.
Like a kid in the proverbial candy store
Good things come to those who wait said Moore.
In the nick of time there was a loose cannon swarm.
All together it became the perfect storm.
Cliques are like cans of worm said a tiny newborn.
But like all God’s favorite things, every rose has a thorn.
Grandma said, “The apple does not fall far from a tree.”
She was referring of course, to that arrogant baby, Little Lee.
What goes around comes around, Daddy interjected.
That’s the pot calling the kettle black, Mom said, feeling rejected.
No sense in beating a horse to death, said the uneducated Miss.
The grass is always greener on the other side. She blew them a kiss.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, they told Uncle Hank.
But now he felt dead as a doornail, he was sweet on Miss Lank.
He must have gotten up on the wrong side of the bed someone said.
If only walls could talk! Hank lamented. His face was quite red.
Pulling The Plug And Cutting The Cord
Written: by Miracle man
1-1-2020
As this new year begins, with value I’m teased,
and I toy with thoughts over my coffee mug.
Non-essential increases leave me displeased,
I’m about ready to tell some to just pull the plug.
Once I agreed, to sign up using auto billing,
They must have assumed I was a tired old hack.
It isn’t affordability, but rather “am I willing?”
is the time upon me, to rise and fight back?
Oh, they’ll try to sell me, on a plan I can afford,
Seems everyone needs a raise, everyone but me.
That it isn’t prudent to pull the plug, or cut the cord,
But whatever their plan, I’m sure I’ll not agree.
Because I don’t need cable to watch politicians fight,
or watch Christmas movies for six months instead.
I can sit at my keyboard and bad poetry write,
and no, I didn’t rise, from the wrong side of the bed.
If a falling star has caught your eye
Wish upon it
If a penny falls and lands on heads
Leave it
But, if tails you see pick it up
For that is good luck
Never walk under a ladder
Paint may spill on you
It is bad luck
If your break a mirror
Your troubles will just begin
This is also bad luck
If you have a bad dream
You must have ate garlic
Waking up on the wrong side of the bed
Can only be done on your bad side
Finding a 4-leaf clover can bring good luck
But, you need good luck to find it
Opening an umbrella in the house is not bad luck
It is just stupid how will you get out the door
Throwing your money into a well for a wish
You will wish you had that money one day
Jumping on the bed only brings you bad luck
If your parents catch you
Woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
There's a mind numbing pain at work in my head.
Wash my hair and comb my face,
Something died in my mouth, where's the toothpaste.
Grab a quick bit of breakfast and rush out the door.
Can't find my keys they fell on the floor.
Finally find them and start the car.
I'm gonna be late, well that's about parr.
Hit every stop light on the way to work,
Look down and notice there's a stain on my shirt.
Forgot to let Spike out, he's crossing his legs.
Have to go back, this morning's the dregs.
The absolute bottom, the pits, it's the worst!
What else could happen, it seems that I'm cursed!
Wait a minute, it's Monday, first day of the week.
No wonder this day has begun so bleak.
Come ahead Monday, get it over with now!
I've got bon bons and chocolates and a little brown cow,
To soothe and to comfort my poor shattered nerves,
And to bind and to buffer the slings and the curves;
Do your worst Monday, come on have a fit!
You can't scare me, I've got chocolate!
It isn't much fun to be told that you're wrong,
or to feel left out or you just don't belong.
And worse when you feel that you're in a bad rut,
when you're down and your out, and been kicked in the gut.
It's another bad day from the wrong side of the bed,
and you're feeling so down that you'd rather be dead,
you're not alone, we have all felt this way,
that feeling you have when you hate every day,
and the universe couldn't care less about you,
and you never get credit for things that you do,
and that person you like won't even give you the time,
you feel you're invisible or covered in grime.
To make matters worse you might smash your thumb,
and that makes you feel the more stupid and dumb,
the clouds coming in just remind you of pain,
and the hurt that you feel in your body and brain,...
start to fold in around and you want it to end,
it would all be much better if you just had a friend.
And there is the lesson, so simple indeed;
There are times when you might be the friend that they need.
Bill was beaten, he asked for butter and bread,
She was in bad mood after a swing in head;
But the case study revealed
In office of Dr. Field,
They both got up on the wrong side of the bed.
What’s the kindest thing you can say,
about someone who’s not really nice
Compliment them in an obtuse fashion,
blunt talk wouldn’t be the right approach
Sometimes it’s hard to find
pleasant words
to describe somebody’s foul disposition
Oh, they just got up on the wrong side of the bed
Euphemistically speaking
that phrase was rather well said
Trying not to insult a person’s intellect,
can leave you groping for tasteful words
Sensitivity speaks with a thousand nuances,
each shade made for honesty to be received
He’s a couple cards short of a full deck
Euphemistically speaking,
your verbiage was rather circumspect
Turning vinegar piss into honey-flavored cider,
it takes master linguistic skill ...
even still, it may not always be effective
Some people won’t take criticism,
though given in the most respectful way
Euphemisms are politely stated aphorisms
The customer is always right
Euphemistically speaking,
it was expressed with rather delicate insight
Even when someone is wrong as two left shoes,
wrong as laughing lustily at bad news
Euphemistically speaking,
that’s what a mentally challenged person is prone to do
empty girls don't play with love
because they know it's never enough.
they seek out angels, way up high,
and dance to the rhythm of the sky.
empty girls won't fall apart
because they're guarded from the start.
floating through the city, do you see me?
a ghost never looked so pretty.
do you see me?
i thought about your face
for five months straight.
in my dreams, you really love me.
i wake in the same spot
on the wrong side of the bed
and replay the morning you said,
"empty girls aren't hard to find,
don't even have to treat them kind.
they look for things to make them whole,
so all you need is a little soul.
and when you're done, you press rewind
before you start to lose your mind
because empty girls just want your heart
to fill a void, there from the start."
Have you ever had one of those days
On the wrong side of the bed, bad days
When everything right went wrong
Cause the ding had lost it's dong
Ouch, Mr. Sun came peeking in
Up from bed and banged your shin
Leaky, full toilet overflowed
Damn, you stubbed your other big toe
Times like this: don't you love those days
Hardly anything seems to go your way?
Is little Johnnie turning green
Splat! Is that doggie ice cream?
Gas oven took a dump
Everyone’s oatmeal was in clumps
The kids were late AGAIN for school
Wasn’t that traffic cop a tool?
Oh, you should've just stayed in bed!
Rolled back over and called in dead…
Shoot! An hour late for work
Emptied Starbucks on your shirt
Dare you ask how this could get worse?
Others think you're such a jerk.
Next, the boss comes barging in
Tells you,"Look for work again"
Everything was going wrong
Vacation's gonna be a little long
Even your wife’s rope is at an end
Now she says, "Let's just be friends"
An asteroid fell from the skies
Smashed the beer between the thighs
Kick yourself for getting out of bed
a fun collaboration with the incomparable Tom Quigley
Have you ever had one of those days
On the wrong side of the bed, bad days
When everything right went wrong
Cause the ding had lost it's dong
Ouch, Mr. Sun came peeking in
Up from bed and banged your shin
Leaky, full toilet overflowed
Damn, you stubbed your other big toe
Times like this: don't you love those days
Hardly anything seems to go your way?
Is little Johnnie turning green
Splat! Is that doggie ice cream?
Gas oven took a dump
Everyone’s oatmeal was in clumps
The kids were late AGAIN for school
Wasn’t that traffic cop a tool?
Oh, you should've just stayed in bed!
Rolled back over and called in dead…
Shoot! An hour late for work
Emptied Starbucks on your shirt
Dare you ask how this could get worse?
Others think you're such a jerk.
Next, the boss comes barging in
Tells you,"Look for work again"
Everything was going wrong
Vacation's gonna be a little long
Even your wife’s rope is at an end
Now she says, "Let's just be friends"
An asteroid fell from the skies
Smashed the beer between the thighs
Kick yourself for getting out of bed
3/24/16
Collaboration with Daniel Turner
Did I perchance get up on the wrong side of the bed
Should I have gotten up on the other side instead
What else could it be
Perhaps I just need to pee
If I don't make in time, must be careful where I tread
© Jack Ellison 2016
Grouchy is a grubby feeling,
with the nasty taste of blah;
makes you out of sorts with living,
the opposite of hurrah.
You don’t like anything
you used to really love;
instead of giving kisses
you would rather pinch or shove.
You are bored to tears;
your toys - worn out and old;
you sit before your breakfast
until the eggs are cold.
No one can please you,
not even mom or dad;
and if you are not careful,
you’re in your room for being bad!
Some people say, “You got up
on the wrong side of the bed;”
maybe you should get back in,
crawl out the other side instead.
What makes you feel so out of sorts?
You think you just might cry
and mommy says she’s sure you ate
a slice of gritty grumble pie.
We all have days that go kerplunk;
we do some things we shouldn’t do,
but it will soon get better;
pull your feet out of grouch goo.
Just put a smile on that sweet face
and tell the grump to go away;
the sun is up and life is good,
get busy, go outside and play!
© September 18, 2015
Faye Lanham Gibson
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