Toity Poems | Examples

Krutsingers

Krutsingers just make me laugh, regardless of how silly
Absurdities ‘bout false eyelashes, really?
And yet my twinkled eyes are proof they work,
So who the heck am I to be a hoity toity jerk?

We May have Lost Him

With an ingenuine saccharine la-di-da
The hoity toity woman said “hi” to ma
A want to be royal, an aristocrat
stated poser, false Sheila name of Pat

My brother was smitten right away
He gave her his best times of day
Pat could have been a clock tower shooter
He did not see this at all, my brother Tooter

She is so refined and fashionable!
I thought a narcist too and really dull
She is so pretty and genteel
I did not think so, and here’s the deal…

I knew William, her ex, a wonderful man
She stole all his stuff except for a fan
At her sale she refused to sell to him
He was escorted out by her new friend Tim

Will’s dog was sad, she had him staked out mean
Putting on airs like a Victorian Queen
Pat married my brother Tooter of course
Arrived in a carriage with a rented horse

We may have lost him I said to my ma
Just like your daddy, she said, referring to Pa
For Pa had run away with a scoundrel too
She took all his money and possessions in ’82.

Beware of a Witchs Razorbacks

Hodgepodge of high-brow, hoity-toity happy hogs
Happened upon a wagonload of St Bernard dogs
In a hocus-pocus way they turned them into logs
You do not fool with a witch’s razorbacks in these bogs.

unfocused

Our land of stars and stripes, now glows,
with screens that flicker in hallowed halls.
Entranced humans shuffle, with eyes fixed below,
on small gadgets that have us enthralled.

Should the Statue of Liberty, our symbolic girl,
be holding a smartphone up to the world?
While tweets fly like eagles and hashtags swirl,
foreign disinformation trends as fast as it’s purled.

In lunch halls, real conversations take rest,
as influence is sought—in hoity-toity, binary quest.
Friends are backdrops—originality in short supply
as likes and shares make our dopamine fly.

America’s zombies, though *********** drained,
shuffle endlessly on, with Wi-Fi stimulated brains.
Once the land of the free, we’re now the land of tech
with minds wrecked by truths unchecked.

As we rock and sway—the new robot way—
will our old, analog-republic simply fade away?
.
.
Songs for this:
Airhead by Thomas Dolby
.
Oh, and a Christmas playlist because—it’s December:
daweb.us/xmas/Christmas_01.mp3

Babble-On

I only speak in Absolute 
Yet this is not my only attribute
Im also fluent in Paradox
Contradiction and Outside the Box

Though Deception is my native tongue
And Manipulation my lips have sung
Not in ages have I conversed
In languages of the damned and cursed

On occasion I'll use Diplomat 
To suit a purpose
Or if the situation calls for that

Never will I speak in Babble
Though in Hypocrisy I sometimes dabble
But my character i do defend 
I only do this to reach an end

And Haughtiness if 'tis the season
And Hoity-Toity if there's a reason
And also in Conformity 
Though it's sprinkled with Repugnancy

While in forgiveness I can read and I can write 
My Understanding is riddled with my Oversight

I never learned to speak Coquettish 
But I do admit I have a fetish
I understand a small amount of Bliss
Which I think derived from Righteousness 

But honestly I'd have to say that Theoretic 
Has always been,will always be,
My favorite aesthetic

Hoity-Toity

I was walking hoity-toity
When pride tumbled to the ground
And despite its monolithic weight...
It feathered not a sound.

I stretched upon a bended knee
But my efforts were surpassed...
I found the weight... did dissipate
As it reversed to blackened ash.

I stood there for a moment...
Not sure what had turned the tide.
But if one must drop a deadly sin...
It's best to start with pride.

              The End

Of Arrogance and Humility

arrogance
                   insolent, hoity-toity
          domineering, flawing, insulting
haughtiness, pomposity, humbleness, grace
            groveling, praising, craving
                   profound, modest
                          humility

An Oversized Giggle Gene

Where does one find humour?
Everywhere one looks... at least I do
Others may not see it like me
But maybe I'm just built differently
I was blessed with an oversized giggle gene
It's certainly not a bad thing I guess
Could have turned out to be a serial killer
Often thought I may have missed my calling
But I guess I'm a wee bit old to be starting a new career
So I'm really sorry, youse guys are just going to have to suffer
“Did you hear the latest one about...”
Sorry! I promise to make it more sophisticated
And only post hoity toity type humour like
“Didst thou heareth the most recent humorous episode chronicling...”
Holy crap! That'a really snotty!!!

Hoity-Toity

Hoity-Toity 
La-Di-Da 
existence desired 
never able to obtain 
the coveted lifestyle
high falutin pompous 
arrogant attempts made
towards obtaining the 
obscure illusive snooty 
characteristics of the 
desired social class 
of the ritzy aristocract 
sitting a top their thrown
looking down upon the lower 
class of society

Thinking of Retiring My Limerick Pen

Thinking of retiring my limerick pen
Replacing it with a hoity toity pen and then
If y'all get on your bikes
And take proverbial hikes
Maybe I'll just go back to writing limerick gems


© Jack Ellison 2015

An Oversized Giggle Gene

Where does one find humour?

Everywhere one looks... at least I do

Others may not see it like me

But maybe I'm just built differently

I was blessed with an oversized giggle gene

It's certainly not a bad thing I guess

Could have turned out to be a serial killer

Often thought I may have missed my calling

But I guess I'm a wee bit old to be starting a new career

So I'm really sorry, youse guys are just going to have to suffer

"Did you hear the one about the... "

Sorry! I promise to make them more sophisticated

And post only hoity toity type humour like

"Didst thou hearest the most recent humorous episode chronicling..."

Holy crap! That's really snotty!!!



© Jack Ellison 2014

Up Here

I live up here in Minnesota where season's have four names.
But sometimes just one is the reason to our claim to fame.
Right now the snow birds aren't our best friends.
And the snow is up to our rear ends.
I'll tell you true, this ain't no game. :)

Well in a month they'll all be back to show off their sun tans.
And on they'll go with with their rich show and hoity toity plans.
If I sound bitter, what can I say.
It's been a harsh winter, last year until May.

But I digress, at least I guess.
My heart's not quite that froze.
Although when I shoveled the roof.
Quite numb became my toes.


Rjr440
For the impress me with a small poem.  Kinda failed. :) With the short part that is.

A Peeing Machine

A peeing machine, a peeing machine
That's what I've now become
About every two hours like clockwork
It's off to the toity I run

While making a speech at a banquet
Right smack dab in the middle
That old biological urge rears its head
And off I go for a piddle

Considered installing a porta-pottie
In every room of my house
It sure would make a whole lot of sense
Especially when I get soused

It certainly becomes a hairy affair
When I can't undo my buckle
So I just enjoy the cozy warm feeling
Stand and piddle and chuckle

A peeing machine, a peeing machine
That's what I've now become!



© Jack Ellison 2012

Can'T Find the Damn Thing

Looked down to where my manhood should be
Expecting to see something grand
But for some strange reason I couldn't find it
As I unzipped when reaching the can!

My little charmer was certainly there yesterday
Well, I could have sworn that it was
Must have gone toity three or four times
Saw a glimpse of it amongst the fuzz!

As I strode passed by my full length mirror
Grinning and checking my physique
This thought ran galloping through my brain
No longer is my physique at it's peak!

So getting back to my manhood again
Is this a real common phenomenon?
Knowing the damn thing's down there somewhere
But ain't seen it for so very long!

Think I'll wrap it up in a humongous red bow
When I find my sweet charmer again
But don't you go worrying all my good friends
I'm sure it'll show up in the end!

© Jack Ellison 2012


Reposting this on the recommendation of a certain P-Souper!

The Hoi Polloi

There’s no need to be all hoity-toity when you’re in the hoi polloi,
My mother used to tell me when I was just a little boy.

Live your life as best as you can and don’t build it up too high,
Because anyway you look at it you’re an ordinary guy.

Always deal with simple things and in them you’ll find joy,
Life is just to complicated if your living outside the hoi polloi.

But mom and dad taught me that learning words was cheap,
And that the ability to use them well was a skill that I could keep.

So I learned how to manipulate them and use them as a toy,
And send them out to all my friends living in the hoi polloi.

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