Best Toity Poems

Hoity-Toity 
La-Di-Da 
existence desired 
never able to obtain 
the coveted lifestyle
high falutin pompous 
arrogant attempts made
towards obtaining the 
obscure illusive snooty 
characteristics of the 
desired...

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Puttin on the Ritz - Just for You

Remember when I used to be dead broke,
and everyone laughed cause my dreams were a big joke?
Well I...

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As Miss Luby watches from her window
a moving van backs up
the driveway across the street

BEEP!  BEEP!  BEEP!  BEEP!

its warning cry has a...

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My Rhetoric Rhapsody

Oh! I am a Poet
It’s me again pretty poet of the century,
Breaking through till I reach mercury.
A pretty poet with popping phrases,
A poor...

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Thinking of retiring my limerick pen
Replacing it with a hoity toity pen and then
If y'all get on your bikes
And take proverbial hikes
Maybe I'll just go...

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I live up here in Minnesota where season's have four names.
But sometimes just one is the reason to our claim to fame.
Right now the snow...

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Where does one find humour?

Everywhere one looks... at least I do

Others may not see it like me

But maybe I'm just built differently

I was blessed with...

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I've traveled from the farm in Indiana, the place of my humble birth,
To places I never dreamed of seeing all around this earth!
On ships, trains...

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For William and Laura Nance

if the jabberwocky were a clock
would it talk in jabberese
or simply be right twice a day
in order to sometimes please

what if...

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We (me and the missus)
live in a decent
accommodations low income
quite modest rent,
which facility lacks no shortage
of gossip mongers

with mail delivery the major event
many old people...

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"toity poiple boids,
dehd upahn da coib, 
noh muh chiopin or
boipin, 
or eatin doity
woims..."

I found a dead
sparrow this
morning,
sideways on the
stoop, 
strangely unblooded,
gifted by clever
cats, 
it fed...

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Looked down to where my manhood should be
Expecting to see something grand
But for some strange reason I couldn't find it
As I unzipped when reaching the...

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No sooner than we set foot within said domicile
attestation to so called gentleman’s’ agreement with guile
initially infrequently, but incessantly as time elapsed Isle 
never forget...

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A peeing machine, a peeing machine
That's what I've now become
About every two hours like clockwork
It's off to the toity I run

While making a speech at...

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sheets of light from times that’ve passed &
(patterns of events 
that try to circumvent)
clichés dancing ‘pon the looking glass 
(original overcast clouds 
placing bets upon...

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