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A Peeing Machine

A peeing machine, a peeing machine
That's what I've now become
About every two hours like clockwork
It's off to the toity I run

While making a speech at a banquet
Right smack dab in the middle
That old biological urge rears its head
And off I go for a piddle

Considered installing a porta-pottie
In every room of my house
It sure would make a whole lot of sense
Especially when I get soused

It certainly becomes a hairy affair
When I can't undo my buckle
So I just enjoy the cozy warm feeling
Stand and piddle and chuckle

A peeing machine, a peeing machine
That's what I've now become!



© Jack Ellison 2012

Copyright © Jack Ellison | Year Posted 2013

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Laura Breidenthal Date: 12/17/2022 9:26:00 PM The call to nature can often be an inconvenience. Super funny one. Always, Laura Login to Reply

Donna Jones Date: 1/22/2013 9:56:00 PM Don't know what you guys have to complain about... at least you don't have to get half undressed to go like we women HAHAHA funny one. Jack Login to Reply Jack Ellison Date: 1/23/2013 6:19:00 AM I have this mental picture... LOL

Russell Sivey Date: 1/13/2013 4:11:00 PM I'm starting to get to that point when I've got to go more often my friend! Is there any remedy to the situation or must we suffer the frequent trips to the bathroom?! As for your hilarious write, I just loved reading this funny adventure here Jack! What a fantastic piece, Great Work!! Login to Reply Jack Ellison Date: 1/13/2013 4:30:00 PM Sorry to tell you, my friend, it's only going to get worse! There's no hope for you now! LOL Thanks again Russell!

Kash Poet Date: 1/13/2013 10:05:00 AM Hahaha..enjoyed this humorous poem very much Jack.It Reminds me Andrea's poem--Got to go,got to go... Login to Reply Jack Ellison Date: 1/13/2013 10:07:00 AM As we age, it's almost certain we'll be afflicted! LOL Happy it gave you a chuckle, my friend! Cheers!

Carol Eastman Date: 1/13/2013 9:37:00 AM AHHH! I have your answer... Diapers... They work every time! You can depend on them... LOL (I couldn't resist... The Trolls made me do it...) Every where I go the first thing I look for is the closest potty... Just in case! Login to Reply Jack Ellison Date: 1/13/2013 10:00:00 AM "You can... DEPEND... on them!" Are you being paid by P&G to promote their products! LOL

Terry O'Leary Date: 1/13/2013 8:41:00 AM Very funny, Jack, I sujppose... have you ever tried using a clothespin? .............................................................................................................. oh, sorry about the delay, just had to take a timely pee... Terry Login to Reply Jack Ellison Date: 1/13/2013 9:05:00 AM I can hear that satisfying sigh of relief! One of the great joys of life! CLOTHESPIN??? I don't think so... ouch! LOL

Reggae Magnet Date: 1/13/2013 7:32:00 AM Love it, good for a laugh, comedy never to be forgotten to keep away the stress. thanks for sharing. Login to Reply Jack Ellison Date: 1/13/2013 8:19:00 AM Comedy? You've come to the right place! Life is just one big chuckle! LOL Come again... Jack

Toquyen Harrell Date: 1/13/2013 7:17:00 AM Haha, too funny, dear Jack! I heard a lot of people have that problem but I didn't quite believe it. I guess not. I did not know it's that severe -every two hours? It's crazy! Installing a bathroom in every room wouldn't hurt. I was just wondering "does every senior have that problem?". Have a great Sunday :) Login to Reply Jack Ellison Date: 1/13/2013 8:17:00 AM Got a chuckle out of Robert's comment! LOL "Every two hours"? Sometimes less! See what you've got ahead of you! LOL Reggae Magnet Date: 1/13/2013 7:33:00 AM I gues we men have an advantage to reach the deposit point since it has a longer way to travel.lol