I do not sing any of the new songs. But I can sing Let the Little Girl Dance.
Teen angel, I’m sorry, It’s now or never, everybody’s somebody’s fool.
Alley-oop, itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini and chain gang.
Poetry in motion, Georgia on my Mind, Little Ole Lady from Pasadena.
My foot is tapping in my car as I drive to I am Woman, Let it Be,
Ain’t no Mountain high enough, Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves!
We’ve Only Just Begun, Call me, Raindrops Keep Fall’n On my Head
Yesterday I noticed I was driving 98 miles per hours to the 70’s songs.
Once upon a time there was a teeny beanie.
He had a long beard and his name was McFeenie.
That’s peach fuzz, said a monster-like genie.
I’m not sure about that, but he is a bit teeny.
Well his name is Teeny Beanie, said queenie.
McFeenie shook him out long, and we renamed him leanie.
Little lamb soft as snow where did your ewey go
Into the barn to chew her cud, with you and Baby Zoe
Chalky Talky chew don't mew, what a cutie look at you !
Whitsie whitsie you ain't blue, your a shiny lamb of new
Little lamb don't be late, don't forget to ruminate
Easy peasy, teenie weenie, super duper wait,
Lamba lamba baa-baa- rama- meh meh meh
gee you got alot to say !
little lamb soft as snow, where did your ewey go,
Into the barn to chew her cud with you and Baby Zoe.
October 11, 2021
It is skimpy
But not indecent
It looks fabulous on a pre-teen
But do not get any ideas
Because that would be creepy
Old women look better in a one piece
And if they are wide they sometimes do better with a skirt
Bikinis are not for everyone
But when I see a yellow polka dotted one,
Look out.
My singing voice comes out
And I am no Brian Hyland
It was my first summer job
I didn’t feel quite ready
but I tossed all hesitation aside
it was time to stretch my wings
I felt lucky and tried to measure up
as summer camp counselor
on this beautiful woodsy island
where nature abounded
I was a full week into it
things were running smooth
I was starting to fit in as best I could
until it happened late one night
In the deepest darkness I met my nemesis
a teenie weenie itsy bitsy mouse
I let out a scream to wake the dead
that echoed clear across the lake
Coincidentally soon afterwards it was decided
they didn’t need quite as many counselors
I’ll always remember them polite as could be
as I was being thanked for my services
Read on air by invitation ~ May 19, 2021 'WORDS & MUSIC'
AP: Honorable Mention 2021
Powerful Weapons Systems
Marvels of Technology
Vast Communication Networks
Fabulously Wealthy Financiers
The Latest in Robotic Technology
The Greatest Minds of our Times
All Aligned
against
an itsy-bitsy teenie-weenie
bug
I challenged an inchworm to a race,
It turned out to be a big disgrace,
Because I agreed to run at the worm' s pace,
And I finished in last place.
I thought I could outrun that worm,
But oh how the worm turns,
I found out with much regret,
I had to take teenie, tiny steps.
Man that worm could run!
Took the lead the second the race begun,
Once we took to the track,
That inchworm never looked back.
The big lesson I had to learn,
Was to never underestimate an inchworm,
Even though he was so tiny,
He made a big fool out of me.....
Little, little, little,
Tell me how much I need to-
Whittle, whittle, whittle,
Whittle it down, get teeny tiny small-
What's the smallest word you've ever heard?
Or, the smallest thing and its word?
Hey, ancients thought it was sand for a long time,
That's a big question to set to rhyme-
Is it the itsy bitsy teenie weenie
yellow polka dot bikini?
Ya know, the one she wore at the shore.
Or, is there really more?
Is it like a bit or a byte?
Now that's so trite.
Is it like a pixel or bik?
Sounds like a trick.
Then it must be smaller.
Yikes! I'm gonna holler!
Wait, give it a chance.
Let science advance.
It may be an atom or molecule, maybe a proton.
More likely a quark, neutrino or even a Preon.
Sure hope it's not a singularity in a black hole.
Or possibly theoretical like a Plank particle.
This stuff's a bit beyond me.
It's all below the size of anything measurable.
Now that bikini song, that was pleasurable!
Sunshine is fun time.
We start the car, go far.
First stop beach shop.
I scream for ice cream.
Itsy bitsy teenie weenie
yellow polka dot bikini.
Jump in for a swim.
Beach ball, we all fall.
Skin save as we sun bathe
Sun set, all get in car.
Back home, good roam.
Night night, sleep tight.
Travel light.
Bring a bite.
And a toothbrush.
Wired for sound
when off the ground.
And factor fifty.
Itsy bitsy teenie weenie
yellow polka dot bikini.
And a towel.
Will pick you up.
Have a cup.
And hit the beach.
Dachshund headgear:
Weenie
Beenie
Frankfurter for a Dachshund:
Weenie
Weenie
Grouchy Dachshund:
Meany
Weenie
Proportionally, a male Dachshund has a:
Teenie
Weenie
(But size isn't everything)
Dachshund making critical life choices:
Eeenie
Weenie...
Tick Tock
Reachin' for the Clock
Hip Hop
My mind don't stop
Hand Fan
Coming to a stand
Neat Feat
Wont get from my seat
Strong Long
My body's so wrong
Teenie Tiny
He looks almighty
Loud Proud
Voices in the clouds
Room Boom
To big to assume
Space Race
I'm not in this place
Head Bed
Full of lead
Stars Mars
Sitting in the sidecar
Grow Woe
Eyes a no show
Grip Grin
Hands so thin
Fine Line
Sanity's not mine
Girth Mirth
Coming back to earth
Hulky Hazy
I must be going crazy
This a poem I wrote sometime ago about the strange things that would sometimes happen to my senses of time and size. It is only recently that I found out that it was actually known as Alice in Wonderland Syndrome.
To the tune of "Itsy Bitsy, Teenie Weenie, Yellow, Polka-Dot Bikini"
Dedicated to Nancy Pelosi
Chorus:
She has an itsy bitsy
Teenie weenie
Brain inside her little beanie
And she uses it infrequently
An itsy, bitsy
Teenie weenie brain
We get the heebie jeebies
Whenever Nancy's in our company
Two, three, four
Don’t stick around, head for the door
Nancy:
Oh, I pushed and I wrested for health care
But no one wanted this lame, inane fare
Still I managed to get it through Congress
The court may now say it was pointless
Two, three, four
Please don’t give us anymore
Chorus:
She has an itsy bitsy
Teenie weenie
Brain inside her little beanie
And she uses it infrequently
An itsy, bitsy
Teenie weenie brain
We get the heebie jeebies
Whenever Nancy's in our company
Nancy:
Some will tell you that my voice sounds too shrill
But House members have followed me still
Yet we have an election upcoming
From my muse all my members are running
Final Chorus:
From the Congress to her home state
From California to the streets
Of San Francisco you will find her
Oh so sad to lose her seat
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