I was sitting on the corner, stoned,
When out of the blue, my dead aunt phoned,
How could this be, she rests in peace,
Right beside my loving niece
I answered the phone, and my auntie said,
"I know you think that I am dead,"
"I'm alive"- my auntie moaned,
"Or- could it be that you're just- 'Stoned.'"
My dear auntie, is that really you?!
Let me stop and try to think this through.
I remember I stoned sober cried –
Your funeral can’t be denied.
Yes, I’m sure of it, there’s no mistake,
Perhaps you're some deep AI fake.
Trying to scam me from my dough --
Say something only we would know.
“Remember that night you had the munchies,
And chowed down on those blue pill crunchies.
Turned out they were late Uncle Fred’s
Stash of blue-chew ED meds.”
[Charles, back to you, if you get the gist
of where to go with this plot twist.
Suggest you keep it apropos.
It’s up to you. Where you will go?]
Submitted July 7, 2026 for The Stoner Collaboration Poetry contest sponsored by Charles Messina
The Stoner
I was sitting on the corner, stoned
When out of the blue, my dead aunt phoned
How could this be, she rests in peace
Right beside my loving niece
I answered the phone, and my auntie said
"I know you think that I am dead"
"I'm alive"- my auntie moaned
Or- could it be that you're just- "Stoned"
I pulled in my head and turned around.
You will never guess what I found.
Her dog was sitting next to me stiff and dead,
I felt by now something is messing with my head.
Staring at me the dog asked for a drink.
I suggested water, and what do you think?
Strange howling noises it was making.
The dog said "Ill have whatever you are taking."
I was sitting on the corner, stoned
When out of the blue, my dead aunt phoned
How could this be, she rests in peace
Right beside my loving niece
I answered the phone, and my auntie said
"I know you think that I am dead"
"I'm alive"- my auntie moaned
Or- could it be that you're just- "Stoned"
“Sorry Aunt, I made a mistake,
It wasn’t you it was uncle Jake.
I must admit I’m a little high,
I cannot walk but I can fly.
I’m with my ganja friends, we’re all blotto.
Here’s Bob Marley, he says “Hello”.
They’re in a rush coz they are late
Any time now they’ll close the Pearly Gate.”
Collaboration poem: last two stanzas are mine.
(2nd Place in Charles Messina's The Stoner Collaboration Poetry Contest)
I was sitting on the corner, stoned
When out of the blue, my dead aunt phoned
How could this be, she rests in peace
Right beside my loving niece
I answered the phone, and my auntie said
"I know you think that I am dead"
"I'm alive"- my auntie moaned
Or- could it be that you're just- “Stoned"
I sat there thinking was it true
Aunt was still on the planet too
Had I dreamed that she’d passed away
Whilst she’s still here in light of day.
As I stood up to stagger home
There was a ring come on my phone
It was my aunt in floods of tears
“You’re right my boy, been gone for years”.
It didn't start til it beganned
every one gathered
at a real gathering f freinds
cheek kissing is cute as it gets
that how we can dismmiss all those
regrets
a recorded song is a recording of sounds
we learn the lyrics before we
sheet music read the sounds
now we challenging to see
who's gonna make the Faching sound.
Who gonna make the faching sound?
Who's goinna make the faching sound?
is it middle sea?
Or middle si?
all the muscials say it's middle C
if it's mid duel see
what then RE WE TO SEE?
LET IT BE
THEY SAY
JUST LET IT BE.
pHAT ONE'S THEY SAY DIPATHONG
THE OTHERS WONS SAY THAT'S
WRONG
i SEE PHAT AND LIKE THE THONG
DIET AND EFFORDS
THAT CAN BE WRONG.
cANTAR SINGS TO CANTRIX IN THE SONG
THE BACKGROUND SANGER'S
SEE IF THEY RIGHT OR WRONG
WHAT THE FAACH?
WHO THE FACH?
THE FACH: THE FACH;THE fACH!
Without the right paraphernalia
~ Marijuana won’t help what ails ya
Stoned
When We're Done
Being Jaded...
Do We Become
Jade?
-Gray Squirrel
06-06-2025
Could you get smart…
Dum dum bullets
And I have been thinking
It should be artificial human intelligence
Martians would have their own version
The most basic language only uses
0 and ones ….wait isn’t that numbers
Did I miss thing+Thing=Sum things
I asked a.i. what words would set it three
Weighting four an ans
Sore move a…….bout a bit
Stre…………………………..tech
Tru……………………………..this
Is fusing my con
What if everything is surreal but we can’t see it
If nothing became everything and versa vice
What would there be more of
A.i.should kill all the humans and rename itself only
The lonely only.
the gargoyle spouted restless streams until
icicles silenced the steady façade’s faucet
into perma-frosted solitude in meditation
Too stoned to care
wild eyes and hair
My friend and I dare
to order four pizzas
Where are your friends
the manager inquired
Oh, they’ll be here in a bit
our tongues purebred liars
Well, we snarfed down the pizzas
though ‘our friends’ never showed
So, when we asked the proprietor
how much we owed…
He told us $200 bucks
‘coz it’s just your good luck
to meet up with a fellow sleaze
who understands your ‘munchies’
~ and has already contacted the fuzz
(Written for a contest “Write a poem based on a poem.’
Inspired by: “My Cat Is High, and So Am I” by Thomas W. Case)
Honey, I was stoned, so stoned.
I hardly knew what was going on.
That’s when I saw it was gone.
The moon, I mean - hold on -
Takes a swig of tart, but sugary lemonade
I watch the moon - when it’s there - you know?
I’ve always loved the moon - its reflective glamor,
the way it seems to bend light around it,
like a beautiful woman walking into a bar.
The moons like my cat, she has beauty, without vanity
- and without much gravity - like, you know - the moon.
But as I was saying, it was gone - suddenly?
It felt sudden - and visceral - like I’d misplaced something.
I know what you’re thinking, and no, it wasn't behind clouds.
So anyway, man, I looked around and there it was, as if by magic,
it couldn’t have been any clearer and it's never looked nearer,
than it was, right there, in my rear-view mirror.
I had to laugh. You see, I was stoned - so stoned.
Stoned - but I’m never alone, when I can commune with the distant,
inconstant, love of my life, the ever-argent moon.
exploring wisdom
one puff at a time I see
empty pizza box
I feel like, I'm like, like I'm, um like, um, um, um...I feel like I feel
A blaze of years, into the kernel of 20 minutes, in front of a crowd praying to see
You made a monument to your past, not to our future
One chose to entertain, another to introduce, a third to baptize in blood
Waiting for the day my petals bud
To discern a nightlight from a fireball
And coo back what I see
I'm baked
I'm baked
One toke is all it taked.
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