Sesquipedalian, sounds like an alien
Syllables trailing from your tongue like a train
Seems like you'd rather leave words in a lather
Forming like foam from the rain in your brain
Eye's water, this slaughter of discourse dissection
Is deserving of mid-course correction at least
If only your colleagues could change the direction
Of this Grand Panjandrum in pedantical feast
I only cry on the inside;
Lamenting the child who's hiding there.
No one can know what is buried.
It's a weight that I must bear.
You may marvel at my strength;
Such fortitude is often rare
But all alone late at night,
I sink into despair.
The child will not let me sleep.
She needs the comfort of her mother.
I've searched a lifetime to replace her
But a mother's love is like no other.
So, I will strive to ignore the pain
And do better for my son.
I will be the mother I seek.
The child within and I are one.
February 23, 2025
Understanding
by Lanier Thomas
Sitting by the campfire
Under the burning stars
I think of what my life
Has brought to me in scars.
I suddenly realize
In the flickering glow
These have brought true delight
And it was only thus
My soul was made aright
And I am what I am.
Too many ups and downs in the journey
Too much sweet, bitter and honey
Far far away long way travel
Crying for peace in front of the devil
Destructed abstracted undefined destiny
Self-realizations in the middle of the journey
Multi-personalities in a tourney
Giving up and giving in convicted felony
For murdering the person in me
Painting characters to fitting in to see
Too many unanswered questions for thee
Humming happily for the sunflower-like bee
Praying for God to unlock the key
Self-realization got me on my knee.
That I am worth it and worthless
That I am hopeful and hopeless
That I am cheap and priceless.
I go round and round on my youth
Nursing my pain for pills of sooth.
I finally found out that realization is self-lose.
The practice of letting go
Leads to letting go
Of all things -
Let go now -
It’s all going to go, anyhow,
So let it go.
If you continue letting go,
Your mask will fall,
Revealing the original face in all,
Just remove your disguise,
It only hides the beauty inside
So let it go.
When you’ve found the secret -
Let it go -
With nowhere left to roam,
When all doubts resolve
In I don’t know,
Carry on,
Let it go.
When the found is choiceless being-
Let it go -
As metal and magnet unite as one
And you a carefree child become,
When all such wonders have been and gone,
Just carry on,
Let it go.
You must isolate from the crowd
To be able to assess the crowd
To think unlike the crowd
Though in the crowd
To be you
Without your eyes, there is no Grand Canyon or Redwood
With SELF, there is both selfishness and selflessness
Stop thinking, start meditating: I have taken, what may I give?
Jesus chose to yield His will, to obey Father. In Jesus I rest
The Incarnation, God taking on flesh, mystery of SELFishNESS
Skylark cannot quench its thirst
by the water of pond; river; ocean.
It needs rainwater to quench itself.
By this way, those who are hungry
for God's meeting, he does not get
any taste in man-made scriptures
or worshiping rules.
Heavenly Father called me since
the unseen time, but after coming
in this world, I make busy myself
and forget to recall HIM.
Peacefulness, happiness, and heavenly
freedom are in belief. But debate or
dispute carries you to endless instability
and logic cannot give relief.
The infinite You are
And I'm on the sharp edge of the fire
All of ecstatic knowledge
Seeking Your immense hedge
How wonderful You are
Into me still, I'm unstable pyre
O' God, show me the path on where Your favorites have gone
I'm seeking You here, there, everywhere I'm alone!
-October 16, 2018 Chattogram
Come, understand yourself,
and make a realization
on thinking
Knowledge is the food of a soul, eat
this for the sake of god,
leave all robotic thought
There is no darkness when
I entered into the true room
of my soul
There is light in soul, light
of God, which wants
to illuminate me
But subconsciously I cover
it by following other
blindly
Oh! I'm sane! Still not a
Saint! Insane I'm in the true
love of GOD
O' beloved Soul! God is only
my goal You're not foul,
Valid in world's bowl
Be in divine contemplation
Pray in ONE God's passion
Time is your valuation
Be with the reality and God's
memory in nanosecond's
motion
- October 16, 2018 Chattogram
I sat on the couch on a dull afternoon in deep thought,
The meaning of my life I genuinely sought.
As time hastily passed by,
I began to suspect my actions to justify.
Sadly, I never made use of my time,
My life had a very boring rhyme.
The reason my dreams were always in a fog
Was only because I was a lazy dog.
Then I decided to let go of the past,
At least I realized this pretty fast.
I searched with enthuse on how to live in zest,
But all I got was a pass in patience test.
Bothered I was about my life,
Felt like walking on the edge of a knife.
The expectation of family was at its peak,
While I was on a losing streak.
A desire to come out all guns firing
Was the reason I opted for engineering.
Life of a fighter it is inside,
Every beating you got had to be pushed aside.
As I face the mirror and see a responsible man,
I boost myself by saying “yes I can.
Arduous days will soon end,
And a winning message I will send”.
true acceptance lies
within the realm of thyself
just be who you are
Sometimes you gotta
close your eyes to see
the real truth hidden
inside you ....
You lift me way up high
like a mountain to reach the top
then you quickly tear me down.
You caress me with love
And put me on a pedestal
then again you make me feel discourage.
You encourage me to dream
To reach for new horizons
and those dreams are shattered
when you conduct yourself afar of your ideology.
And in my ups and downs,
And every smile I give,
and in my effort to reach my dreams
……. I struggle.
I struggle to fulfill your expectations
I struggle to understand
your wants and emotions
[and in the process I lose sight of myself]
and what I want to become.
Knowing this, I open up
like a fragile rose that
Unfolds petal by petal
[and liberate the power that’s in me]
that lead me to trust and love myself
With hopes and dreams
I unfold …………
Stop! Listen to your heartbeat.
Concentrate on every thump as it slowly evaporates
into the inner tissue of your soul.
Silence manifests laterally,
drowning your body, leaving you with sharpened senses.
Your limbs slowly detach from your fragile body
creating paranormal stratospheres in the surrounding cosmos.
All matter surrounding you dissolves until all turns to
black shadow.
Solitude takes you and you are an irrelevant whisper
within infinity. You gain consciousness,
you are in a pool of your most distant memories.
You come to the realize that you never knew
yourself, you were never even close.
Suddenly you feel more in tune than ever.
You are reborn from the womb of your own heat
confident that you aren’t, you never were, and you never will be.
When different folks
Say the same thing about you,
Consider closely...
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