just something fun....
ANDY THE DILLO*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In Texas town where sun brightly shone,
Andy the dillo lives, all alone.
He dreamt of a pretty gal,
one who lives in his locale.
Together the dusty trails they’d roam
When pillaging one starry night
he met Astrid, "Oh! you're outta sight"
A quizzical nose had she
“You're perfect dillo for me!
Let’s eat worms together, they’re a delight!"
With a twirl and a tap of her toes,
she showed dance moves that she knows.
'round and 'round she did spin,
with giggles and a grin.
Then he noticed her rather large schnoz.
“EEEGADS! Where did you get that nose?
With it, the ground you can bulldoze
You’re a dillo extraordinaire.
I’ll follow you anywhere.
Let’s go get some worms at Joe’s!”
*Note: Poem originally published in Poetry Soup in June 2025 (poetrysoup.com/poem/andy_the_armadillo_1738645)> I then deleted it. This is my original poem.
“What exactly are you?” “I don’t normally ask, but here we are.”
“I am, how do you say in earthling? I am your favorite martian.”
“What big ears, I mean antennas you have! Do they hurt?”
“Only when earthlings talk bad about me..you don’t talk
bad about me, do you, Jim?” he says with a sideways grin.
“Your making me nervous, my favorite…I mean, what is your name.”
“*$&@*&#@*$&#*@, but you can call me Al.”
“Why are you here?”
“Here? Where? Be more specific. Question feels a bit existential.”
“On earth, Al. We are concerned about your reasons for being here.”
“Again, Jim, a bit existential!”
“Do you mean us harm?”
“Do you mean US harm, Jim? That is the real question. There is
only one of me and so many of you earthlings” Al blows his honker.
“Al…Al…ahchoo.”
“What on Mars was that!”
Al hands him a handkerchief with unusual stitching.
“Keep the change, Jim.” he says as he walks away from the interview.
Jim wipes his schnoz with the gift and succumbs to it.
Please keep yer cotton-pickin' schnoz out of the Israeli affair, Joe!
Mr. Netanyahu is much better qualified to deal with the foe!
Seems everything you get involved with becomes a giant fiasco!
'Twould be great if you spent less time tryin' to rule the world, Joe,
And seriously consider eradicatin' the chaos you've created in America, Bro!
My friend is known for a horsey type grin
Along with his whinny, he can run like the wind
Through fields of clover
Don't mind his odour
Just hold onto your schnoz and try not to wince
As you get older, you'll hear plenty of quips
On freedom and wisdom, but here's my tip:
Guard your schnoz around pepper, and squeeze those knees
If you don't want to pee your pants when you sneeze!
8/28/21
Your best four line light verse #2
Sponsor: L. Milton Hankins
At seventy-plus years, my noggin is a barren landscape
that once grew a thick crop of chestnut hair.
And yet, some scattered strands of grey
still sprout, here and there, above a fussy hedge
edging my closely cropped terrain.
Proceed further down, and you'll find
a weathered forehead with long furrows
running in horizontal worry lines.
Keep descending,
until you come across two bushy brows
resembling wiry bristles, in disarray.
Below them, you'll find two slightly out-of-focus eyes;
brown orbs, afloat in a sea of white.
Following the sloping curvature of my plump face,
you will come across
a rugged, slightly broken schnoz of a nose;
jutting out between two wrinkled, worn cheeks.
Continue down, and you'll see a pair of crinkled lips,
wearing a smug, satisfied smile.
Lower yet, you'll find a pincushion chin,
dappled with stumps of yesterday's stubble.
Now, step back, and let the features I outlined above
take shape in your thoughts,
and let your imagination craft my image in your mind.
(I'll call him Frosty the Snowperson to be politically correct;
So as to placate sensitive souls, I must be quite circumspect!)
Now that that matter is settled, his ice skating caper I'll relate,
With all the circumstances that led up to poor Frosty's fate!
'Twas on a midnight clear when nary a soul was in sight,
That he spied a pond glistening 'neath the mellow moonlight.
He ventured on the surface not realizing he was on thin ice.
With a muted tinkle the ice gave way and he sank in a trice!
Later was found a pair of ice skates and on the bank a carrot,
The remains of Frosty's schnoz being chomped on by a ferret!
Entry for Sara Kendrick's "The Park Bench At Christmas" Contest
(Photo 5/1 December 2018)
THE FATE OF FUTURE
A romp of childhood, descending my steep driveway, to the bus.
My urgent path lit dimly, filled with compacted snow, shoveled
with steel blades. I wearing a woolen coat, always late.
Still on time, before great big wheels grind down a country road.
Youth, with hair still damp, long and fine, shyness hides inside.
Tired teens, all around me, I watch the wipers swipe morning flurries.
The repetitive motion, bestowing comfort, like a lullaby -
before the din of crowded classrooms and impertinent teachers.
My math teacher, with a schnoz that crests Everest,
an informer of intelligent students. Less inclined
to teach her fearful ones, to shame us with a shun.
A glare of eagle spectacles, nearly scorning our dark plight.
Yet, classrooms with nouns, adjectives, verbs spur me on
to serendipitous highs. I fly with Kilmer, dip with Plath.
I lean forward as psychology and sociology take me by the arms.
I feel the fate of future, the lovely breeze has dried my hair, sublime.
9/5/2017
Non Rhyming couplets
My friend is known for a horsey type grin
Along with his whinny, he can run like the wind
Through fields of clover
Don't mind his odour
Just hold onto your schnoz and try not to wince
Willy, the Rat Terrier
He nibbles on my nose.
Why? Heaven only knows!
Each tooth feels like a pin.
I need much thicker skin!
Yet Willy, the rat terrier,
could not be any merrier.
After a bath or stroll
he sprints around the whole
apartment like a race
car driven by an ace
who’d swallowed too much speed.
(Perhaps it’s just his breed
that is to blame for that.)
He’s like a mad preschooler
who drank from the wine cooler
and got so hugely gassed,
runs so awful fast,
is such an acrobat,
a poor rat would have no shot
at evading such a tot.
I wouldn’t like to be
that rat, believe you me!
He’d shake it side to side
until the critter died,
which would be just as quick
as death by a dropped brick.
Even a swift hare
wouldn’t have a prayer!
Yet the only life this brat
has so far ever seized
was neither hare nor rat,
but the schnoz from which I’ve sneezed.
Thinking of girls in my life back then
Searching for beauty was no use
I'm sure one was from a horror movie
She possessed the appeal of a moose!
Promised I wouldn't mention names
But her first initial is Thelma
Had a huge wart on the tip of her nose
Gorgeous? What can I tell ya!
Let me explain 'bout that lovely schnoz
It was as long as from here to Tuesday
Protruding teeth, was missing a few
Just a little off white... good news eh!
Her eyes were kinda distracting too
Each looked in a different direction
Hair was stringy and different lengths
Blue lipstick and a very bad complexion!
So all in all, I guess you might say
Wasn't one of your ravishing beauties
Body odour like that of a koala
But as far as I could tell, no cooties!
Had some redeeming features though
She possessed a heart of pure gold
Would donate the shirt right off her back
Problem was it was smelly and old!
Sure could pick 'em way back when
Her daddy was worth a few million
So to me, Thelma was a raving beauty
Now my wife and I'm worth gazillions!
© Jack Ellison 2015
Once a bully named Mike McGruff,
Who thought he was really tough stuff,
Until that fateful day,
He met Daniel O'Gray,
Who smashed Mike's schnoz taking no guff!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2015 All Rights Reserved
Since time immemorial, or so I've heared,
Mankind has struggled to tame his beard.
Was it Adam who imposed upon us this atrocious curse?
(I reckon I could sport a beard but to that I am averse.)
I've scraped and nicked my mug fer nigh on four-score years,
So I will share my shaving experience to educate my peers.
First, splash a generous supply of soapy water on yer kisser,
So as to arouse the attention of each and every whisker.
Apply a liberal amount of Burma Shave to ease the stress,
When with that wicked razor blade yer jowls you do caress.
Twist yer schnoz at an acute angle in order to shave below the nose,
Taking care not to nick yer double chins and any problems that may pose.
Once this onerous task is done, use toilet tissue to heal the bloody nicks,
Then apply a liberal amount of Old Spice to really impress the chicks!
(I must confess that I use an electric shaver to mow my intractable stubble.
'Tis so much smoother on my leathery hide and sure is a lot less trouble!)
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2014 All Rights Reserved
Thinking of girls in my life back then
Searching for beauty was no use
I'm sure one was from a horror movie
She possessed the appeal of a moose!
Promised I wouldn't mention names
But her first initial was Thelma
Had a huge wart on the tip of her nose
Gorgeous? What can I tell ya!
Let me explain 'bout that lovely schnoz
It was as long as from here to Tuesday
Protruding teeth, was missing a few
Just a little off white... good news eh!
Her eyes were kinda distracting too
Each looked in a different directions
Hair was stringy and different lengths
Blue lipstick... a very bad selection!
So all in all, I guess you might say
Not one of your ravishing beauties
Body odour like that of a koala
But as far as I could tell, no cooties!
Had some redeeming features though
She possessed a heart of pure gold
Would donate the shirt right off her back
Problem was it was smelly and old!
Sure could pick 'em way back when
Her daddy was worth a few million
So to me, Thelma was a raving beauty
Now my wife and I'm worth gazillions!
© Jack Ellison 2013
There once was a man who took issue
With using his sleeve as a tissue
Handkerchiefs hadn't any
And head colds too many
Could not blow his schnoz if he wished to!
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