Best Schnoz Poems

The cows is lowin' in the old corral and all the evenin' chores is done.
Hank scraped the manure off'n his boots 'cause he's a fastidious son-of-a-gun.
He drew his pay, jumped in his pickup and headed fer Clyde's Saloon,
To quaff some brew, grab a gal er...

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Once a bully named Mike McGruff,

   Who thought he was really tough stuff,

      Until that fateful day,

        He met Daniel O'Gray,

          ...

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Since time immemorial, or so I've heared,
   Mankind has struggled to tame his beard.
Was it Adam who imposed upon us this atrocious curse?
   (I reckon I could sport a beard but to that I am averse.)
I've scraped and nicked my mug...

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Dear Miss Monkey Manners, I’m in need of your advice,
My boyfriend is a swinger and he isn’t very nice.
I’m a Proboscis Monkey so I exhibit a very prominent schnoz.
And the proposition that he put to me caused me to take pause.
He said that I’d make...

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There once was a man who took issue
With using his sleeve as a tissue
Handkerchiefs hadn't any
And head colds too many
Could not blow his schnoz if he wished to!...

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As you get older, you'll hear plenty of quips
On freedom and wisdom, but here's my tip:
Guard your schnoz around pepper, and squeeze those knees
If you don't want to pee your pants when you sneeze!

8/28/21

Your best four line light verse #2
Sponsor: L. Milton Hankins...

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Thinking of girls in my life back then
Searching for beauty was no use
I'm sure one was from a horror movie
She possessed the appeal of a moose!

Promised I wouldn't mention names
But her first initial is Thelma
Had a huge wart on the tip of her nose
Gorgeous? What...

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Willy, the Rat Terrier

He nibbles on my nose.
Why? Heaven only knows!
Each tooth feels like a pin.
I need much thicker skin!
Yet Willy, the rat terrier,
could not be any merrier.
After a bath or stroll
he sprints around the whole
apartment like a race 
car driven by an ace
who’d swallowed...

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THE FATE OF FUTURE

A romp of childhood, descending my steep driveway, to the bus.
My urgent path lit dimly, filled with compacted snow, shoveled

with steel blades. I wearing a woolen coat, always late.
Still on time, before great big wheels grind down a country road.

Youth, with hair...

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My friend is known for a horsey type grin
Along with his whinny, he can run like the wind
Through fields of clover
Don't mind his odour
Just hold onto your schnoz and try not to wince...

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Thinking of girls in my life back then
Searching for beauty was no use
I'm sure one was from a horror movie
She possessed the appeal of a moose!

Promised I wouldn't mention names
But her first initial was Thelma
Had a huge wart on the tip of her nose
Gorgeous? What...

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Recurrent sneezing fit courtesy freshly mowed grass

circa June 20th, 2022
prompted me to stutter 
self addressed rapid fire gesundheit
nsync with, spluttering
“I don't have any allergies!”

An infinitesimal slight speck tickled 
nostril follicle – activated via an itty 
bitty, nitty gritty dirt band noah bigger 
than a mole...

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Please keep yer cotton-pickin' schnoz out of the Israeli affair, Joe!

Mr. Netanyahu is much better qualified to deal with the foe!

Seems everything you get involved with becomes a giant fiasco!

'Twould be great if you spent less time tryin' to rule the world, Joe,

And seriously consider...

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At seventy-plus years, my noggin is a barren landscape
that once grew a thick crop of chestnut hair.
And yet, some scattered strands of grey
still sprout, here and there, above a fussy hedge
edging my closely cropped terrain.
Proceed further down, and you'll find
a weathered forehead with long furrows
running...

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I felt his little wrinkled nose pressing through the snow, just when I thought I was all alone, under this lovely quilt so bright. I’m tougher than I look; I can be broken. Let the cold freeze his selfish schnoz! The psychiatrist did say I...

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