Interview with an Alien

“What exactly are you?” “I don’t normally ask, but here we are.” “I am, how do you say in earthling? I am your favorite martian.” “What big ears, I mean antennas you have! Do they hurt?” “Only when earthlings talk bad about me..you don’t talk bad about me, do you, Jim?” he says with a sideways grin. “Your making me nervous, my favorite…I mean, what is your name.” “*$&@*&#@*$&#*@, but you can call me Al.” “Why are you here?” “Here? Where? Be more specific. Question feels a bit existential.” “On earth, Al. We are concerned about your reasons for being here.” “Again, Jim, a bit existential!” “Do you mean us harm?” “Do you mean US harm, Jim? That is the real question. There is only one of me and so many of you earthlings” Al blows his honker. “Al…Al…ahchoo.” “What on Mars was that!” Al hands him a handkerchief with unusual stitching. “Keep the change, Jim.” he says as he walks away from the interview. Jim wipes his schnoz with the gift and succumbs to it.