Saucy Poems

Aristotle and the Parrot

Aristotle, doth he opine,
That parrots grow saucy with wine.
I can't help but think
He drove it to drink, 
The source of its moral decline.

saucy joker

We were learning to play bridge, and it was okay I guess.
I always outbid everyone at the table including sister Tess.
Mom and Dad took one each of us, “you get that twin.”
We always took them down, rarely would we win.

One day when the rest of them were away from the table
Sassy joker jumped into my

Saucy Joker

We were learning to play bridge, and it was okay I guess.
I always outbid everyone at the table including sister Tess.
Mom and Dad took one each of us, “you get that twin.”
We always took them down, rarely would we win.

One day when the rest of them were away from the table
Sassy joker jumped into my

Saucy Sally and Studly Sam

Saucy Sally, sits solemnly on said sidewalk,
Stifling sniffles, sees sympathetic staring,
Some snidely shuffling slowly sideways, so
She surreptitiously swallows her sadness.
Studly Sam, strolling six shaggy sheepdogs,
Soon seizes on saucy Sally’s situation, and
Saunters steadily, still standing; swiftly,
Suggests she stifle her sniveling sadness.
Suddenly, she’s sharing six shaggy sheepdogs,
Silently, Sam says, sweet saucy Sally stay.

Written August 18, 2022

FIRST PLACE

Saucy

Introducing my roommate Leong to my Saturday morning cartoon binge habit proved to be one of my BEST ideas EVER. She’s a very animated watcher, frequently laughing, gasping in horror and, in the end, delighted by these silly shows. 

It’s almost a case for convergent evolution, how two creatures, from opposite ends of culture and

The Halloween Queen of Tarts - Saucy

The Halloween queen puts cement in tarts
A crafty way to bond with a man’s heart
One tart is enough to stiffen one’s bits 
Witches have such extraordinary gifts.

This witch is not of the usual sort
Casting of spells is not par for the course
She’s a thriller, cement is her filler
The tarts she makes are her for sure

Pat the Nonagenarian - Saucy

Pat the Nonagenarian
No one would guess Pat was over ninety
She'd had pins and tucks, is trim and lively 
With implanted bust
Inflated buttocks
She drives men crazy, undeniably.

That is till they get her into the sack
Pat can't raise a smile as her face would crack
Her buttocks and bust
Pop when they are touched
Sadly for Pat no man ever

Nells Bells - Saucy

Nell’s Bells
Bren's often to be found around at Nell’s 
Who's bosoms dangle down like big church bells
To peals of delight
They go on all night 
Whilst their neighbours cannot sleep for Nell's Yells.
23rd May 2021

As Saucy As Could Be

There was a damsel beautiful
The fairest in the land, and she --
As saucy as a wench could be
Her teeth shone white, her lips carefree...
She gave out kisses two by two
Red ruby lips and tongue at play
One kiss for me, the next for you
We twitterpated, you might say

But then one day, a tragedy
Affecting every man in

Saucy Syllables Scribbled

tactic theories tamed
by moaning brain
callous crescendoes' bait
airy acumen craved
felon feasts fostered
hoity twin triggered

rusty rules reeled
raging rumple reek
punctured politics' spree

dark dances dribbled
saucy syllables scribbled
did curves cripple

lanky lust birthed
vying veil's verge.
     '20:03:21:11:01

Note: Dedicated to Plato.

Saucy Syllables Scribbled

tactic theories tamed
by moaning brain
callous crescendoes' bait
airy acumen craved
felon feasts fostered
hoity twin triggered

rusty rules reeled
raging rumple reek
punctured politics' spree

dark dances dribbled
saucy syllables scribbled
did curves cripple

lanky lust birthed
vying veil's verge.
     '20:03:21:11:01

Note: Dedicated to Plato.

Saucy

When we stirred the pot
Mum pulled out the wooden spoon

A Saucy Senryu

Could one of you clowns
Be so kind…Get me  some hot 
sauce for my hash browns
/center>

Springtimes Saucy Sweet

Springtime’s saucy sweet;
makes me want egg rolls,
fried rice with veggies, 
curlicue sprouts;
with fried shrimp for dipp’in.
Of course,  with smiling fortune cookie! 

The Saucy Pickle

I know I do this every time I think of you
I end up with a stiff little pickle and in a flipping mess
Now I know you think it’s saucy and like to have a laugh
But I’m the one with spicy piccalilli all over my flaming lap
I relish the challenge in being a pickle in a

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