The burglar started out looking for computers and TVS
But along the way, he picked up a kitty named Breeze
Then he acquired a cat named Double Trouble.
She had sixteen kittens pretty much on the double.
Now he is known as the cat burglar man
Mother cats ring his doorbell as fast as they can
They drop their litters off on his front stoop too
At last count he was up to ninety-two
I searched upstairs and downstairs, mask of fright,
repositioned machinery, turned on lights,
called my doctor and the operator,
tried passion and dispassion, meditation
and my morning crap, sang out of tune,
passed a school bus on the double yellow line.
A clock, a calendar, a ruler,
a minute and an inch. The kind of day
I never have, opens with orisons,
ends with an amen, ardor offsets humor.
I cannot locate the source of the hum
atoms alternating charges, e, i,
sharing and unsharing electrons, p.
I reck I hear (OMG!) my god.
I am a most well-balanced kid,
so why did I do just what I did?
Flunked from pre-school for one ride
in a Red Ryder wagon on the slide.
True, I am an enterprising tike.
So, I strapped the wagon to a bike.
I charge a reasonable price (one quid)
for every ride and every kid.
When it was time to take a nap,
I told Miss Hot Stuff to shut her yap,
and cut her in on the action,
much to her satisfaction.
So, Mister Principal, my friend,
I propose a happy end.
I wouldn't want to see any trouble.
I'll take my place back on the double.
As I hide from you in the dark,
I extinguish my little spark.
Your dog looks to the moon to bark,
but my place is not lunar -
ditch your radio tuner.
I'm in the distant universe,
ain't red-shifted - quite the reverse.
I have no photons to disperse.
You wanna ask, "Where you been?"
Why not ask Vera Rubin?
Na na na na na, can't find me,
no matter how you try to see,
with yer telescope, hee hee hee.
Wanna try using Hubble?
g'head, get on the double!
To scientists, I fascinate
and positively captivate.
My hobby is to gravitate
from the place I'm residing
in space where I am hiding.
Are you still wond'ring who I am?
If, 'scuse my French, you give a dam*,
without this guy, dear sir or ma'am,
the galaxies would splatter,
Sincerely Yours, Dark Matter.
Ollie ollie oxen free!
special delivery the snail-man said as he came up the walk
the recipient was so surprised, she forgot how to talk
the letter had been mailed from Viet Nam in seventy-two
How many years back? Let’s see…..fifty-two
what kept you? she asked, her fingers shaking the envelope.
I brought it straight to you, said the snail, thinking she was a dope.
He had brought it to her as fast as he could and on the double.
Maybe hiring snails to deliver mail is asking for some kind of trouble.
Running to escape
running from trouble
Pick up the pace
quick, on the double
Sweat pouring down
feet pounding the ground
Second wind comes along
now sprinting headlong …
He broke the tape
in record time, wahoo!
What he's run from is clear
~ but what’s there to run to
I am in big trouble
My mind is in a muddle
My tears have formed a puddle
My head is in a bubble
My heart feels befuddled
My life has turned to rubble
I desperately need a cuddle
On the double ….!!
Problems come and problems go
But there's one thing you should know
If good friends stand by your side
Helping through the bumpy ride
Knowing love is all around
Till your back on level ground
The smallest problems disappear
Soon they are no longer there
Days are happier again
With the good kind hearted friends
Who never bailed or walked out
Their minds without a single doubt
Sticking by a friend in trouble
Running to you on the double
With hugs tightly warm and soothing
Holding on and never losing
Sight of what needs to be done
True friends will not leave or shun
They'll hang on until the day
Your frown turns the other way
Back into a joyful smile
That has been away awhile
More lipstick! cheered Katie’s brother six-year-old Bard.
Get both cheeks! Get your mouth! How about your nose?
Three-year-old Katie is smearing lipstick on her lips and cheeks
Bard is encouraging her to mess her face all up.
Hoping she would soon lose her "favorite child" place in the family.
Loving what he think is going to get her into a lot of trouble.
“Bard!” His mother yelled. “Come here on the double!”
If my taste starts to fade, stick around I'm in style
Evergreen, Peppermint, did I just see you smile?
Chew my wad, blow a bubble
Be minty fresh on the double
I am gum, chew on that for a while
I please and abide like your loyal chum
Then you spit me out like a skid row bum
But chew me at your pleasure
I'm a tried-and-true treasure
I am comfort, I am delight, I am gum!
Hearts on fire
Over heads that sire
New couple on the double
Every action becomes triple
Yearning for each other's hand
Maneuvering who has a better hand
On truth or consequence
Or Games of the General
No arbiter is allowed... just being real and literal!
Shining in the distance was a pinata shaped like round bubble
A skinny limber boy yelled to his friend, “I will hit it on the double!”
The friend was watching star lizard twist on mountain with his curly tail.
Chuck, a skunk fox hybrid brought in bits and tatters of the morning mail.
Larry, an unassuming chipmunk tossed around his ruffled lace umbrella.
Dorothy, the girl in the slip dress told Larry he was an interesting fella.
Chickadee was fearful of the palm with the leather chaps and third eye.
Woe is me said the oak tree, I agree. I might even have to cry.
Cartoon petroglyphs rounded out the twerking tree tribe nicely.
Artist capturing everything complained, “does it have to be precisely?”
A turquoise lady bug who was butting in rolled her eyes and said.
You might leave out the chickadeel he is so still, I think he’s dead.
Skiing can be so much fun when the snow is light and the weather cold, with
Kitten soft mitts on my hands & skis on my feet I'm ready for the summit
Icarus moments on a hill is all I need, if its a snowy week then I will plummet
I love the winter months, they give me a chance to practice my kangaroo flip it
No greater sport than skiing I say, catch a cab on the double and get to it. I'm
Going to take a break from the mundane today, or I much rather ski than sit.
January 24, 2023
I was a jolly good clown
Who never once had a frown;
Whenever I was in town
I used to bring the house down.
I once saved a kid from trouble
But lost my voice in the struggle;
My people left me, on the double
They felt I was not worth their trouble.
I’m now a clown who never chatters
Who, on big shoes, absurdly patters;
Although my own life is in tatters
Making kids smile, is now what matters.
04.01.2023
Tatters Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Mystic Rose Rose
Bullfrogs can blow bubbles bigger than you!
The giraffe is insulted, so he shows her his shoe.
I am not kidding, they blow them bigger than the moon.
He thinks the firefly is kidding; is she some sort of loon?
Come down by the lagoon, she states, and you will see.
Giraffe follows here there at a quarter until three.
It is early morning, but they arrive on the double.
Where he sees the frogs; each blowing a giant bubble.
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