Best On The Double Poems
Adios, Roseanne
Roseanne's racist tweet caused big trouble
So she voiced remorse on the double
The Trump-loving comic
Appeared catatonic
Her hit show was tossed to the rubble
In secret she now keeps opinions
But where are Roseanne and her minions?
Darlene, Dan and Jackie
Each unemployed lackey
While Rosie's still worth eighty millions
*August 19, 2018
Gwen’s contest sure gave me lots of trouble,
The entries made me laugh on the double,
As I have a cold
I laughed, cried and rolled,
Until alas, I blew a snot bubble!
Thanks to Gwen and all you contestants for the entertainment! Loved this contest!
What has happened to our kids?
Why did we become the type of parents we did?
Is there a name for us?
Slower, easier, then turned into a mess of fuss
Using our imaginations and reading the classics galore
So much lovely literature to explore
Had to look up facts in a Book
Critical thinking came without one second look
Now we have I.T. people at schools
Showing and telling us...
something I never really wanted to use
Gets me into trouble
What DO YOU mean I can't have that document on the double?
So, this generation I am in...the before and after
Are a special bunch of people going faster and faster
We are a special generation, you see
We grew up without the almighty god of technology
People try to put us down... cuz' we don't know the way around
Can ya dig what I'm tryin' to say? Computers will never fade away
I'm not tryin' to cause a big sensation...
Google is fine, but not the only means of education
A Parody for Soupers based on the song, 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town.'
You better not shout
You better not sigh
You better not pout
I'm telling you why...
PS Admin is makin' the rounds
They are bound
to be making a list
and checkin' it twice
They're keepin' tabs on who's naughty and nice
They'll know when you cause trouble
Someone will pimp you out
They'll take action on the double (not)
Asking, "What is this all about?"
You better not bully
Or use a curse word
Cuz in Poetry Soup
You'll be labeled a turd
You better not be a troll
Cuz it's a crime
Harassment takes a toll
Even if it's done in rhyme
PS Admin wants poets to have a goal
To be nice to each other without blocking
If you do you may find a lump of coal
In the toe of your Christmas stocking
You better not fire your gun
Then your comment gets deleted
That's called a 'hit and run'
An offense that shouldn't be repeated
PS Admin always reads what you're typing
Sent from your IP address
So, you better stop all your griping
Or your account they will repossess
You better not be cruel and mean
Or you'll find yourself in a deep abyss
Kicked out for being a drama king or queen
Having PS Admin's butt to kiss
Every story has two sides
Sometimes they believe the wrong one
The one where the snide villain hides
After their dirty work has been done
They frown on those who harp on negativity
Team Poetry Soup finds it rather banal
For which some among us have a proclivity
In other words, to make it clear, Don't be a.n.a.l
You better not write of hate
It's best not to be accused
So if some of you can relate
It's better known as being abused
If guilty, you'll get nuttin' for Christmas
But if you insist on being bad
There'll be no POTD for you on Christmas
If you make PS Administrators mad
You don't have to worry about Santa Claus
Just don't make Team Poetry Soup frown
Or you'll get kicked out for breaking their laws
Cuz they have the power to shut you down
Why aren't you smiling back at me
I'm having a great day, don't you see
Why aren't people friendly anymore
Common courtesy has gone out the door
Kids off to school without any trouble
Kisses and hugs then rush to work
On the double
Job duties completed right on time
Run to grocery store, can't get behind
Pick up kids and all will be fine
I see a familiar face I hadn't seen in a while
She glances at me but there is no smile
She kinda just looked right through me
I don't get it, can't we all just be friendly
How hard is it to crack a small smile
Common courtesy is gone, no denial
Delicious supper shared with family
Spouse shares sad news he heard today
The woman I just saw in the store
Lost husband suddenly the week before
She was diagnosed with cancer, stage four
And will only survive a few months more
The cancer has spread despite all the chemo
No family for support and to lean on
Now her sole support in her life is gone
She probably won't survive very long
I am not smiling when I hear this news
Nor smiling but now changing my views
Not smiling when drop kids off at school
Can't smile at work, I feel such a fool
Coworkers ask why aren't you smiling
Smiling has taken on a new meaning
It's not as spontaneous as was before
I don't smile as much as I use to
Looking at sullen, smile less faces
What caused happiness to be erased
Death and disease and family stresses
Abuse and loss and money messes
Maybe my smile will bring you comfort
And if you don't smile back, I will hope
And pray you have a reason to smile again
Someday..........
As a child my mother told me,
that I had a unpleasant disposition.
And I was told that I needed to be,
familiar with the Act of Contrition.
When my full name was in use,
I knew that I was in trouble.
Not having an appropriate excuse,
I ran out the back door, on the double.
I was reminded that I was the difficult one.
And my older brother was the prince.
He was always the perfect son.
It has remained the same, ever since.
Soon after getting married, I found out,
that my husband wanted me to change.
He had issues we needed to talk about.
Telling me that my way of thinking was strange.
I was so glad that he brought that to light.
How could I have missed it for so long?
I knew just how to make it right.
And I proceeded to make it all wrong.
If I had known how to become,
the person that they wanted me to be.
I would have surely overcome,
what it was that led to my being me.
Why couldn't I just be myself?
Isn't that what most people do?
Not put themselves up on a shelf.
Hiding what was authentic and true.
Over the years, could no one see,
the sadness and hurt deep inside?
That I only knew how to be me.
No matter how hard I tried.
Worry often goes in hand with love.
When all the dark clouds accumulate above.
When all your fears form a throng.
And you have that feeling something is wrong.
It seems natural to think that way.
When your imagination goes astray.
If they are ill or just late home.
Your worst thoughts start to roam.
Its time to step back and remember what’s real.
Don’t exaggerate what you feel.
If something manifests and really is wrong.
You will be needed to be very strong.
Worry and panic can undermine sense.
And work the wrong way, at your expense.
Feeling you’re buried? No you’ve just been planted,
Don’t let your thoughts get too slanted.
Remember what I read, just the other day.
Who wrote it I regret, it did not say.
Worry doesn’t remove tomorrow’s trouble.
It takes away today’s peace, on the double.
So if you wear the cap of a worry wart,
Its high time, a new hat you bought.
Answer each call, with hope you had a windfall.
Don’t listen if they say the sky will fall.
The good things outweigh the bad.
No time to be sad, there’s good times to be had.
If things go wrong and you get a bad news letter.
Your choice, you get bitter, or you get better.
Its all entirely up to you.
But worrying will never do.
I was in a funk,
In a state of debunk
In a state of despair
Depressed and hollowed out
All I could do is just shout
Help me
Help me
Help me Lord God, Help me out
And
In my desperation I prayed,
And this is what God said
My son, my daughter Listen to the Lord listen
He (I) will save you
From yourselves and the wilderness
In my desperation I prayed, and the LORD listened;
He saved me from all my troubles.
In my desperation I prayed, and the LORD listened;
He saved me from all my troubles.
In my desperation I prayed, and the LORD listened;
He saved me from all my troubles.
Hallelujah
I will listen
For on the double
I will save you from all your troubles
And the LORD listened; he saved me from all my troubles.
Results in rash or extreme behavior.
I will come down and save you
"Having lost all hope."
I will allow you to float
Just you and I, walking out on water
In times of trouble I’ll be there on the double
If you are desperate for food,
In the means you are starving,
I will provide you supper and settle all your cravings I will bless you forgive you in your misbehaving
a desperate situation
I was in a funk,
In a state of debunk
In a state of despair
Depressed and hollowed out
All I could do is just shout
Help me
Help me
Help me Lord God, Help me out
And...
In my desperation I prayed,
And this is what God said
My son, my daughter Listen to the Lord listen
He (I) will save you
From yourselves and the wilderness
I will listen For on the double
I will save you from all your troubles
and the LORD listened; he saved me from all my troubles.
In my desperation I prayed, and the LORD listened;
He saved me from all my troubles.
In my desperation I prayed, and the LORD listened;
He saved me from all my troubles.
In my desperation I prayed, and the LORD listened;
He saved me from all my troubles.
2/21/20
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr. 2020©
Psalm 34:6 NLT
When I was in dire straits,
the heartbeat of my life fading away
No one came to my rescue
When I cried out for help,
calling on the calvary ...
vision of a cross came to me
It was dripping with blood,
not my own
The blood spelled a message on the ground:
Pick up the heavenly phone,
and call 764 before all hope is gone
Son of God
He can save your soul,
but you can’t be afraid
of letting this life go
I did what was revealed to me,
I called on the name of Jesus Christ urgently
Suddenly my pulse of life
started to get stronger,
and I was determined to hold on longer
Made a vow to help others who were in trouble,
emergency situation
Gave them the Doctor’s number on the double,
prayer call for salvation
The Son of God came to my rescue,
when I cried out that fateful day
If you see the message of the cross,
I suggest you do what it say
He plied the Mississippi River on the paddle wheeler 'Dandy Dame'.
Gamblin' was his profession and three-card monte was his game.
He became very creative at palmin' that elusive ace of spades.
Such dexterity and sleight of hand he had practiced for decades!
He embarked in Saint Louis for a cruise to the town of New Orleans.
On his arm hung one of his gaudily dressed bordello 'queens'!
He wore diamond rings on each finger and impeccably tailored suits,
A homburg hat, pearl studs, gold-tipped cane and alligator boots!
He toted a concealed derringer just in the event there was trouble,
And he took a table near the door so he could lam on the double!
He ordered Jack Daniels bourbon for the dudes he was soon to con,
And sized up the naive and hapless victims who dared to take him on!
The gambler let others win a hand or so to make them feel at ease.
His shill closely watched as the gambler, his moment was to seize!
His winnin's piled up as bettors tried to locate the shiftin' ace.
Losers dropped out of the game and other suckers took their place!
One astute monte player saw the scam and called the gambler's hand.
He drew his forty-fours, chairs toppled and folks fled to beat the band!
The gambler drew his rod but he met his God, blood oozin' on the floor!
His sobbin' 'queen' clasped him to her breast to know his love no more!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Placed No. 2 in Paula Swanson's "Pick A Card, Any Card" Contest - Jun 2011
Time, night, and sleep, I could not tell,
For down on the bathroom tiles, I fell
I hit my head but not so bad,
My hand, my muse screeched “are you mad,
What have you done”, confused, in pain
I looked, down at our hand, a monster
Glared at me, broken, swollen, angry and red,
“Wake up first don’t sleepwalk from bed,”
Hubby rushed for he heard me scream,
Called our son for this needed two, a family team
Dressed and wrapped me up, my hand, cried,
“Careful ouch" my muse sadly said,
"Its three degrees outside, a cold winter night”
I was in shock do not remember all, I got a fright,
Carefully I was bundled in the car and taken
To our nearest Emergency Department.
X -Ray’s on the double, diagnosis broken wrist.
My muse was still muttering, did you say something,
Asked the doc about pain,
There will be an injection soon,
No, I hastily replied, I merely said it looks like rain.
I had an injection on my bum,
The following morning an injection to succumb,
To the anesthetic at 7.30 am.
The photo hubby took of me shows I have no pain,
In my snazzy theater gown, which are always so plain.
10 days later stitches out, my baby elephant tattoo,
I noticed surprisingly was joined up like a puzzle by,
The greatest Orthopedic Surgeon I have ever,
known, heard of, or seen.
I am typing with my broken wrist, have a guard I wear.
Oh I’m “sorry, so sorry” said a little voice,
“I’m your, Muse we're one, I know,
You have the same pain as I,
Do you believe me as I look into your eye”
We both got a shock,
Walk mindfully is my motto,
Hey, I ditto,
You on that,
I’ll warn you and you warn me,
And together from danger we’ll
Always be free.
Hearts on fire
Over heads that sire
New couple on the double
Every action becomes triple
Yearning for each other's hand
Maneuvering who has a better hand
On truth or consequence
Or Games of the General
No arbiter is allowed... just being real and literal!
Passion gets me in trouble
It motivates me to do things on the double.
Passion drives me quite wild
Especially if it's regarding my child.
Or anyone else for whom I care deeply.
Patience is something I've had to learn
What others were born with, I've had to earn.
Patience and passion go hand in hand
That's how I imagine the promised land.
Hope y'all don't find this too creepy!
My Big Sister
~ My big sister~
For years we use to fight
My butt you would surely wipe
Up and down the floor
My cries you would ignore
We'd fight till I was sore
Still I loved you more and more
~My big sister~
We traveled different roads
Both with heavy loads
No one could judge what you chose
No apologies do you owe
Our pains were not exactly the same
Our lives we could not change
~My big sister~
You hung with the wrong crowd
On corners so very loud
Not afraid of anyone
Protected by fists you always won
If ever I was in trouble
You were there on the double
My enemies left in the rubble
~My big sister~
I looked up to you
No matter what wrong you'd do
In my mind I always knew
In the family you were the glue
Although weak at times
You always snapped us back in line
~My big sister~
You smoked cigarettes and weed
I never followed this lead
Never saw the need
This was your way to cope
It ultimately lead to coke
Which then lead to dope
~My big sister~
It was my turn to save you
Fear aside I knew what to do
Came through that door
So frightened by what I saw
You looked so confused
Your life I could not loose
~My big sister~
In normal fashion
You took charge with passion
Got that monkey off your back
Got your life back on track
Although we are not close
I felt you should know
~My big sister~
This is why you are the glue
This is why I will always love you
Lay
Oh Angelique my dear I remember you so well
The years have passed so fast and all too soon,
A particular incident that got out of hand, will now re-tell,
A day that went askew like air escaping a hot air balloon.
Jenny’s Travel in its hey-day, was held in esteem
Good clients spoke about us, to more than a few,
My mom joined me, we became a formidable team,
Took many clients to lunch, one of these I still rue!
I was far younger then, client my mom’s age,
She came with a partner, Angelique was one of our best,
My aunt knew Angelique she could be fun, the stage
Was set, we stupidly invited Aunty Maria the pesky pest!
Angelique introduced her companion John to us three,
My aunt well known for putting her foot in it,
Mom, and beetroot red me, well we had to agree,
Things looked odd, but what was next said, was bad I admit.
My Aunt Maria spoke with a heavy accented Greek tone,
Said she, you must have had John when you were young
Do you know he looks like you, I should have known,
He’s my boyfriend, Angelique said, watch your tongue!
Maria I quickly interrupted, it is half past one, you told
Me you had a doctors appointment, you’d better leave on the double
Or you’ll miss it, she understood that she was out of line and bold,
Guests got a tad bit drunk, we called a taxi, what a horrible muddle.
All was forgotten by the next sunny morn,
Angelique called, John enjoyed lunch, she thanked us,
Our business relationship steadfast and strong,
A storm in a teacup, finally free of stress and fuss.