Festive Sing-A-Long Time!
There was dasher and dancer etcetera etcetera
Comet and something and something and blitzen
But do you recaaaaaaaall the most regular plain deer of allllll
BA DUM BUM BUM
Budolph the brownnosed plain deer
Had a very regular noooose
And if you ever saw iiiiit
You would even say….probably nothing.
I mean, it was just a regular nose.
All of the other reindeer
Used to treat him normallyyyyy
They always let that Budolph
Do whatever the rest of them were doing, obviouslyyyy.
Then one foggy Christmas eve
Santa came to saaaaay (Ho hO Ho)
Budolph with your nose so brown
You’re kind of a kiss ass.
Then all the reindeer stood there
As they lined up before the sleeeigh
Budolph the brownnosed plain deer
You’ll go down in (possibly a footnote somewhere I guess?) historyyyyy
One very light night, late in the morning,
Dogs hissed with warning.
I looked out the window with my eyes closed,
A monster appeared, he was bull-nosed.
A policeman chased him with a hose,
All the way up to the river studios.
He flew with his fins into the lake,
While eating lemonade and drinking cake.
09/09/21
Sant's Village Rap.
It’s too cold up here in Santa’s Village
Where everything’s hand-made and vintage.
There ain’t no natural resources;
Just ice and snow, not even horses.
Got reindeer, y’know. Ho, ho, ho.
It’s hard to make so many Christmas toys
For all those good l’il girls and boys.
We must import exotic woods,
Metals, paints, and those plastic goods.
They ain’t cheap, y’know. Ho, ho, ho.
My elves all want a change of scene.
They’re tired of white; they want some green
They’re threatening to unionize,
If we don’t move to southern skies.
Ho, ho, ho. Froelischer Weinachen! Joyeux Noel! Horoshoe rojdetstvo!
Ho, ho, ho.
Mrs. Claus joined the picket line,
And with her went my reindeer nine.
Now Rudolph’s even on their side;
So there might not be no Christmas ride!
Ho, ho, ho. Sretan Bohzich! Feliz navidad! Buon natale’!
Ho, ho, ho.
I’ll kinda miss those northern lights,
Ice sculptures, snow men, starry nights –
No more invites to no Eskimo meals.
Goodbye polar bears, penguins and seals;
Ho, ho, ho. Vrolijk keerstfeest! Feliz natal! Mmeerrryyy Christmas! Ho, ho, ho!
Now Rudolph the red-nosed caribou
has a task that only he can do
his job on Christmas Eve
though you may disbelieve
is to guide Santa's sleigh straight to you.
Poor Rudolph his nose has turned brown
His antics have made Santa frown
For no one supposes
That folks with brown noses
Are trouble and let others down
12-06-17
Epiphany falls exactly
on the sixth of each January;
children call it, " La Befana ":
she's the opposite of Santa!
On the sixth of each January,
the dauntless witch flies away;
will the beak-nosed Befana find
Baby Jesus and become kind?
Children call it, " La Befana ":
an old witch riding the broomstick,
bringing gifts; she's a real nonna*
to those kids who are good, not slick!
She's the opposite of Santa:
who's jolly and he's never late;
should every Italian kid trade
their Befana for our Santa?
P.S. Nonna is the Italian word for grandmother
The skies open
and money falls
covering the earth with kindness
what will be
will be seen
in the paradise you have left behind
tell me oh wise one
how could it be
that we should reunite
beside the sea
oh lord of lords
oh king of kings
soothe your sad head
and we will speak
of other things
of racing cars and midnight bars
tell me that you are thinking of me
Santa Claus has travel worries at the North Pole,
With terrible winter storms brewing there afoot,
He knows Christmas is so close and so he must put
His children first now whom he loves deeply and whole!
And so he must find red-nosed Rudolph to cajole
Him into guid’n his sleigh on Christmas Eve to boot,
For this would bring his kids so much joy—what a hoot!
Rudolph’s red nose bright guiding them from the North Pole!
Rudolph leads Santa’s reindeer on Christmas Eve Night,
While all shout out with joy on this blessed holy night!
Santa’s reindeer love Rudolph in equal measure,
For with him they won’t be lost—oh what a pleasure!
Rudolph’s glowing red nose shines now ever so bright,
As we all with Santa celebrate the Lord’s night!
Gary Bateman, Copyright © All Rights Reserved, (December 12, 2014)
(Petrarchan Sonnet poetic format in Iambic Hexameter)
Rudolph paled because his nose turned brown
He couldn’t smile so he wore a frown
Santa wiped a tear from the reindeer’s eye
He hated to see poor Rudolph cry
Santa sprinkled on some Christmas dust
The nose is now red not a dark shade of rust
So look out of your window on Christmas night
You will see Rudolph’s red nose shining bright
Jan Allison
6th December 2014
There was Snoopy and Odie,
Beethoven and Benjie
All the dalmatians, who caused a great freenzy,
But do you recall........ The most Famous Pug Dog of all........?
Jackson the flat nosed Pug Dog,
Had a very flattened nose
and if you ever saw him,
you would see he's pigeon toed
All of the female Pug Dogs,
liked his little Pug Dog swag
they loved to follow Jackson,
for a little tail wag
Then one stormy Christmas Eve,
Janis Pug heard him say
It's to cold for you to leave,
I really think that you should stay
Now there's a brand new Ornament,
Hanging from the Christmas tree
Jackson the flat nosed Pug Dog
You'll- Go- Down- in - History.............................................
Sung to the tune Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.
Jackson the flat nosed Pug Dog
Had to go out to pee,
Because we are in a Blizzard
Jackson could barely see
All of the other Pug Dogs
stayed in the house where it's warm,
He didn't have his sweater
Cause yesterday it got torn
refrain:
Then a snowplow passed him by,
Covered him with snow,
Jackson, he was so uptight
Almost forgot he had to go
Got himself on the sidewalk
shook himself off you know,
Lifted his leg to the hydrant
Made himself some yellow snow.......
Jackson the flat nosed Pug Dog
suddenly filled with glee,
in the town of Waterloo Iowa
He'll go down in HIs---to---ry
Bottle Nosed Dolphins
So powerful, yet graceful
Lifeguards of the sea