In my own nation
I ran for a shelter.
I was the only support
of my family.
I went from city to city
to earn some money.
I slept on roads.
I bore the cold nights on my skin,
I bore the scorching sun on my skin,
and I was abused.
In my own nation
I was treated like a foreigner,
like a poor labourer.
But to make a home,
to give shelter to the ones I love,
I turned my blood into sweat
and let it vanish into the air.
Finally, I built a home
on the land where my forefathers
had lived for centuries.
Then one day they came.
They bulldozed the home
I had built on the land of my own nation.
Now, once again,
my family and I are without shelter
in my own nation,
sleeping on the road,
crying for a roof
tonight,
and the next night.
I was told
it is a crime
to make a home
on the land of my own nation.
The Journey
Exploring thy purpose
Understanding testimony
Miracle encountered
Assurance in believe
Heaven’s Vibe
Analyzing capability
Having no Doubt
The world wouldn’t understand
Beyond the world’s conscious
Created through excellence
Faith within
Seas pure and true
Walking in pursue
Distance seen
Miles to gain
Preparation derived
Waters reflect
Destiny a waits
Spoken Voice
Heaven’s words.
I don't like to brag, but I've seen it all
The virginal Springs, the legends of Fall
Where whispering pines, meet towering peaks
And raging rivers, raise babbling creeks
A fresh forest glade, festooned with fauna
Hot bubbling waters, nature's own sauna
Swam the Tasman Sea, hiked along the Nile
Even met a wretch, walking "his" green mile
Once I played the Met, and jammed with the Stones
Then won a big bet, while rolling the bones
Met the self-righteous, who claims to be right
And basked with the meek, who shines a true light
From Rome's Rotunda and Phlegraean Fields
To Chinese lanterns and Japanese shields
Sailed the Seven Seas, been around the Horn
Watched a nation die, watched a nation born.
I've seen followers and leaders of men
I've met the Pope, forgiving my sin
Saw too many rich, degrading the poor
I've stood at Hell's gate, passed through Heaven's door
I've traveled the moon, the stars in the sky
I've charmed the Devil, making Angels cry
Like I said before, I don't like to brag
Here's a toast to ME, waving my own flag!
When luck and fortune flee from my own soul,
and then disaster overwhelms my hope,
and hunger consumes the meal in my bowl,
and poverty and debt hinder my scope,
then I wish myself more rich in spirit,
in wisdom and character more complete,
with God's forgiveness now to inherit,
and grace in place of ruin and defeat.
But I reflect on our time spent together,
that spring we made love under a domed sky
(those happy days seemed to live on forever).
Despair now gone, I sing and let joy fly.
As you now live on in my sonnet's measure,
may all men find in you time's endless treasure.
MY OWN KIND OF BLUES CAME IN THE EVENING NEWS
SADDESS FILLS MY SOUL FOR NO REASON I'M TOLD
QUIET NOW WIPE THOSE TEARS AS MY EYES CLEARS
THE WETNESS POURS MORE AND MORE ON THIS FLOOR
OF GRIEF BENEATH ME I WEEP SO PROFOUNDLY
AS LAUGHTER COVERS THE SUN TASTING THE WARM
SUBLE AIR NO ONE WILLING TO SHARE IT
FOR I CAN NOT BREATH FOR SUCH A PAIN
I LIE HEAR 80 YEARS MY SENIOR AS I DIE TODAY
FROM A HORRID DEATH OF LOVING TOO MUCH
AND NOW THAT THE FUNERAL IS THROUGH
IT'S RIGHT IN MY FACE HE DON'T LOVE YOU
SUCH A SILLY LITTLE THING HERE LOOKING AT ME
WAITING AND WANDERING HOW GREEDY IS SHE
FOR I TAKE NOTHING AND INHERIT YOUR PAIN
I SWALLOW THE CRIES HIDDEN DOWN YOUR SPINE
AS I CRY FOR US BOTH AS I REAP WHAT'S SEWN
HERE IN THE DEBTS OF PITY HOW CAN I LIVE
IN SUCH AN EMPTY CITY I WHERE OLD SHOES USED
JUST SITTING HERE WEEPING WITH THE BLUES
WRITTEN BY YOLANDA JOY NICHOLSEN 5-20-2004
2610 PROVIDENCE STREET FORT MYERS FLORIDA
COPING WITH TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY
Funny how life’s a lie
Never thought it would be my time
Do you wanna catch the sunrise
Let’s take a walk or ride a bike
See in between the lines
Darling, will you come along
Hear the whispers in your cry
Such a savage thing to do
Leave me all alone, how could you?
Now I see the darkness, do I blink and I’m gone too…
If you left me alone,
I don’t know what I’d do,
I’ll break my own heart,
If it means sparing you.
I’ll create distance,
Do whatever I have to do,
If it’ll make it hurt less,
When I lose you.
I’ll hurt my own feelings,
Create my own hell to walk through,
I’ll drink my own poison,
So that I don’t poison you.
I’ll create my own thunderstorm,
Find my way to make it through,
I’ll bear the rain,
To create a rainbow for you.
I’ll make myself cry,
Until my vision goes blurry,
I’ll break my own heart,
Before my own heart breaks me.
When love walked away
my heart held so much pain
then you turn and grinned
intentionally
you set out to watch me fall
not knowing my strength
i am trying to be quiet. to be still. i am sadly, i am madly, i am ...
not right for the part. i am impatient. i am forgiving. i cannot remember how to relate, i never learned how.
small thoughts. i would rather be silent, and invisible. i have survived being my own audience. craving more than autonomy.
it finally occurred to me, no one was there to teach me, that it's easy to pawn your flesh, easy to gather interest, to crash and pray. so very easy
to know this, and to swear those ghosts to haunt me no more. when there exists a chance to be alone with someone that would give every sunrise, every single one.
that sounds simple. that's because it is. we cant survive this world alone. and yet, there is no other way to live.
I should be sleeping,
Softly drifting into peaceful dreaming,
But I’m awake with a jagged leaning
To trade in my rest and fight what I'm feeling.
The shadows are creeping,
Across the floor where the light is seeping,
The silent watch that the walls are keeping
Is a heavy price for the soul I'm reaping.
I’m plagued by flickers of fictitious whispers,
The static hiss of a thousand blisters,
A hollow chorus sings in the ghostly distance
Twisting the air into brittle splinters.
The silence is breaking,
To the rhythm of an empty aching,
Between the giving and the taking,
I’m just the ghost of my own making.
Slowly the pressure I put on myself is killing me
Slowly I am losing it
Aiming for perfection something I simply cannot reach
Looking at everyone expecting the best
The pressure i put on myself slowly killing me
Slowly im losing my mind
Something that I love but is killing me at the same time
Like a drug,I crave it and I have to have it no matter what
Slowing I'm losing it
Slowly the world's expectations crush me
Slowly the world's in my head are getting louder
Slowly I'm losing it
Slowly my mind is leaving me
Its like a drug I can never quit
I crave it
The tears held back through a smile
This is the life I choose to live
Preforming for others,losing it behind closed doors
I am killing myself
Killing myself for perfection
For my own expectations
The pressure is like a drug
A drug I refuse to ever quit
A drug thats I crave soo much
In my own words a poem is born
My flower wanted to be his own plant,
But he would not be had he not been planted.
My flower would get frustrated by the realisation that he was in the process of blossoming —
He would need someone to hold the hose over him when the clouds had prioritised another,
Prioritised them so much that they
Seemed like salty sea.
That is, when he is finally accompanied by the others,
Outside on the big wide soil.
For the time being, he resides in his pot,
Like a baby in their cot,
Using it as comfort,
Yet crying out to leave.
I’m comfortable in my own skin just me.
it’s a different story seriously.
Never mind the exposure here’s my closure.
I’m going nowhere fast so best beware.
I got it down to a science my dear.
Thanks for the help I see opportunity.
Blessing in disguise return have no fear.
I am my own invention
I have few moving parts
in the physical sense
I can play love’s shallow, skipping jester
and caper as whimsically as the cuckoo bird’s call
or I can be as impulsive as Jouliet
He wears his charm well
after thin dusk
as the moon is cued
and longing gently serenades
like the touch of night air
our touches are not soft
but strong and pure
how summate is our commitment
to a miraculous physicalness
as we solve love’s perfect equations
something erotic, physical or spiritual
seems to be accomplished
as lust’s spotlight fades
and moonlights exchanged
for something blue
we lay half asleep
as the dawn wins its queue
and I am only me again.
.
.
A song for this:
Femininomenon by Chappell Roan ??
Reminder: it's coming up on Valentine's Day..
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