Long Private eye Poems

While I was walking through a meadow, of blooms and sunshine,
I stopped to spread my blanket, for a gay picnic at lunchtime.

It was very pleasant, and I had brought many good things to eat.
Afterwards I...

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An anticlimactic sexual event...

with Barb Black née Beebee
to help set the ghost
of little Willy Brandt free
(a non German, but germane fellow  
courtesy Craigslist classified
personals of mine invitee
she replied, I took liberty
to Google her first...

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away
Not when you put cotton candy in our grapes
You might as well give it to a teacher,see what they have to say if they haven't already sold their...

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As a historian I was focused, on the long record of writing,
Considered an expert in the field, I found it most exciting.

For countless delights have arisen, out of the written word;
And we only knew crude...

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Real Rally Rude
Another in a series of rude poems this is number five.
The boy eye noticed him and then ignored him remember boy
And the eye will soon get back to him as we aer now...

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Charlotte Wentworth married far too young,
to a man quite rich with old money.
It had seemed such a dream on the big day,
a year later it did not seem so funny.
He was a bore, and he...

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It’s been ten days, the Easter Bunny is gone with hardly a trace,
The Missus is inconsolable- an Easter basket-case,
Evidence in plastic bags, some fibers and some fur,
The family suspects foul play, the police, they do...

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She’s my bad medicine,
	giving me fever chills
	and heart palpitations
		Always breaking out in a cold sweat
from her sultry hot loving
	Keeps me dancing on the edge of death,
	defying all my common sense
She’s my no good medicine
Then there’s...

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I always wanted two slices of ice cube pie
“You only get one”, was the standard reply.
I don’t know why I did
But since I was a kid
It was my favorite treat on the Fourth of July.

The...

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I stand in erection like a British guard patrolling the keep
A private eye from nine to five but lose control when I sleep
Behold what I see is crime and sin that roams in the street
Your...

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I find myself, circling
An area I was certain, 
Had been filled, long ago
Years of healing
Forgiving, walking on
With LOVE, into places I'd never go
....alone

I mean....there are things to be feared
Lessons learned, bridges burned
......I'm not STUPID!!!

Why am...

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"You here?"

"Will...?"

"Never on time....man" "He's going to 

win this case just because of these pictures"...He begins to look through the photos.

The private eye cracks a smile and begins to hum

Spaceman...by the Killers

"Of all the songs...

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or

The Illusion of Changing Water into Wine Exists; It's Just Not Real

"A frustrated cigar is just a cigar in pain needing some smoking-hot sex."
-- a non-Freudian in need of a cigarette after some smoking-hot sex

*...

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Once I Met Edward Hopper. 

I was dining in a small hotel in downtown New York,
the food was ok, but the place eerily quiet, so I went
for a walk, it had been raining but the...

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You hate your job,
but you're good at what you do

A paid shadow
who follows the trail of indiscretions
that other people lead you to

You're a gumshoe,
sticking to the assignment given you

Like a bloodhound on the scent,
another philanderer...

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Distressed I awake to an empty bed
Your form is imprinted on duvet sheet
Still silhouetted and cold to my feet
Urgent abandonment as clothes were shed
Oh, why should you cry and sob in your sleep
My heart is...

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It’s a cold dark night on this end of town
The street lights above flicker to a rhythm
Standing, waiting, why?  I don’t exactly know.
But I’ll continue here and remain a shadow.

There, the door opened and...

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Once, someone posed a question
And it made me want to cry
"If you had to choose," she said
"Which one - cake or pie?"

I didn't want to answer
I mean, why would she even pry?
It's the deepest question...

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I’m  Packing and She’s Packing 

I’m a film noir private eye and I’ve got my eye on this voluptuous dame. I’m investigating the murder of her rich husband and searching for clues. Because deep...

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Pulp fiction had nothing on him. He was a man’s man. A protagonist
of his own making, self-reliant, and self-assured.  Marlow kept his wisecracks
to the bare minimum when meeting a new client.  Dames were...

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 mixed verse 


The Pied Piper was our town's private eye. 
He rode alone on his piebald horse,
kept his nose in everyone’s pie
declaring humble pie of course.

Piety overrode his able grace
when last fall, he alit...

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I slide and  heave with brittle bones
along this pitch black tunnel , 
twisting, rolling, writhing  in  a sea of  tar.
Vapors hot and sticky 
taunt my nose,  
as thoughts of orange-red...

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Once a private eye I fled for my life.                        
I hid in...

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Through his door she wafts, all eye candy and cigarette smoke. Feigning fear and need with a promise of earthly delights in trade. He, standing strongly alone, listens attentively but always sees more than is...

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Walking on by eating my chocolate pie.
Dudes sitting on the steps trying to catch my eye.
I just keep strolling on by.
They holler, “Hey ,Ma Hi”.
I turn around smile and wave Bye,bye.
I have my crush, He...

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