Long Pint size Poems

Part 2.

Come on in, the phone is on the wall there. I’ll go and change. You’re on the Massey farm. Do you want a bite to eat with your coffee?

Yeah, thanks. Genecia looked around, the...

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My mother-in-law
drinks her morning gin
out of a pint-size Mason jar,
and self-righteously prides herself
for not wasting water by adding any in
and for not pouring or drinking
before her biscuit and red-gravy breakfast,
usually about eight a.m.
now that she's...

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Up up the fly away wig doth go revisited and revised April 19th, 2023

IM pen named Pilot Jane A. Rug
who ascribes to writing poetry
as opportunistic, holistic, and cathartic
warming me body electric
courtesy an outsize 
warm brimful...

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Up up the fly away wig doth go revisited and revised March 10th, 2024...

(Any resemblance between the following humorous account and real life circumstance tis purely coincidental).

Went off for hair raising shindig
donning noggin of villager...

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Up up the fly away wig doth go revisited and revised March 10th, 2022...

Went off for hair raising shindig
donning noggin of villager in Nigg
(historic county of Ross-shire,
historic region of Ross
and Cromarty, northeast
coast of Scotland).

Somehow postiche...

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A handy dandy family thing, I did not know from Adam

Monstrous disembodied giant hairy hand...
reached out thru Macbook Pro
Lenovo external screen
"no way can this be real,"
I muttered to no one in particular.

Bug eyed, slack jawed,...

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Wearing Daddy's boots & cowboy hat & not much in between
Why, Momma, ain't she just about the prettiest baby you've ever seen?
I'm sure wishing she was talking, reading her mind is quite a trick
And she's...

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As a regular unleaded gaseous,
(i.e. papa's seminal afterthought)
begat male genetically wrought,
I valued myself as naught
with abilities pegged
at being average,

yours truly sought
to camouflage himself
ducked as if a scared mandrake,
and/or, who oft times
didst cower, and shrink wrought
mine...

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Harpoon Loouey - Pseudonym Pen Bukowski

although just a pint size Notre Dame 
hunched quarter back 
     with rock solid state frame
Pen (short for pennilessness), 

     a generic...

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Certified vegan;
Non-GMO Project Verified;
Free of dairy, lactose, soy, and gluten.
The consistency of vanilla
creamy and luxurious,
without a speck of iciness,
yet not overly heavy.

The flavor rich
with notable burst of sweet vanilla.

Said comestible insanely versatile
and will surely be...

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Day after day I sit, poised deep in thought and contemplation
while tourists stop and stare at me with eyes of admiration
Sometimes they seem hypnotized, looking without blinking
I wonder what they would think if they knew...

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In the spirit of lowered expectations,
loyalty that’s street corner bought
This Oval Office recommendation
was given very little brothel thought

It was stamped with misogynist approval:
he’s a mighty fine spouse beater, first-rate
Just a good professional, abusive soulmate,
no need...

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Giant Red Planet Mars: What's really going on? 

Rumors are, there is someone other than I
They're hiding where I can't see if I try
Some say they’re pint-size, big heads, and huge eclipse black eyes
Never wearing...

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Can you imagine my surprise 
When I woke up with thunder thighs

I looked in my mirror and
It gave me back a knowing grin

Hard and heavy the diet days
And all of my sweet tooth chocolate craves

Knowing...

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Methinks, who wanders after pint size toy
To which Aristocrats bow in humbleness?
Afore the little toy went to dance with the rough,
Off the tee in bounces, unto the way unfair,
Wrong way, or off the fair fairway,
Thought...

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"How easy is a 'string bikini' supposed a string bikini!"
-- Fancy
of such strong string tricks

*   *   *   

Miss Summer and Miss Dawning early rise,
accompanied by Fancy and her fays,
as...

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The Divine

All those that walk upon the earth
It matters not if big or small
Share in each a soul conjointly
For the “Divine” is a part of all
Found within the tiniest of raindrops
To the lakes the ocean...

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The Jolly Green Giant is a mascot created by Minnesota Valley Canning Company 
In 1925, it introduced Jolly Giant Big Tender Peas 



In the land of big & strong lived a man called Jolly Green...

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A pint size spit fire that you are.
A wreckless goth chic with a permanent scare.
She fought all the girls and half the guys.
broke more than a nail and never cries.


A loveless girl so mad at...

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It looks like home,
that pint size village
in the heart of Jersey, 
teased hair and the Sopranos are so thick with memories,
that even the Robins are fatter.

It feels like home,
riding my bike on flat streets, 
easy...

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Way way back on a kitchen shelf
Was a bottle sitting by itself.
It was Karo syrup, 1 pint size
But to use it now, I would not advise.

For the label, stamped with a “Buy Before”
Had a date...

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JUST A LITTLE BIT OF SUGAR

His teeth smile that kind of grin, begging eyes,
impish with red hair, and mouth open wide.
He begs for a cookie – chocolate chip.
Craving just a little bit, of sugar.

Oh! How...

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Boxed in
and filled with sand
like a dry ocean
the towering
creosote soaked pillions
take the form 
of an old shipwreck
with riggings, planks
and a captain's wheel.
Paid by the commons
for the children to enjoy.
"Aye scalawags all aboard,"
shouts a portly 
pint...

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persians pickled
firm and crunchy,
thin and pint size -
spice them with little red flakes
and briny water.
pack them side by side
in a sparkling jar.

twist, pop that top,
fork-stab those
puckery suckers.

serve:
alongside a sandwich -
perhaps a plump pastrami
or
with dumplings drizzled
with...

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