Oval Office Recommendation
In the spirit of lowered expectations,
loyalty that’s street corner bought
This Oval Office recommendation
was given very little brothel thought
It was stamped with misogynist approval:
he’s a mighty fine spouse beater, first-rate
Just a good professional, abusive soulmate,
no need to investigate the first wife removal
This walking, angry crew-cut ticking bomb carrot top
comes highly recommended by the chief of staff
With a couple of cold brewskis, he will brawl it all out,
er, I mean ... bawl it all out, like a little bitty calf
He’s so Ivy League smart ... harmless as an Alabama tick,
just don’t ruffle his hawk feathers, or suffer the mule kick
It’ll knock your front teeth out, give you a real pretty black eye ...
I’m telling you, he ought to be your company’s new PR face guy
Did I mention, he really knows how to gin up the charm,
pint-size lunchtime doses will trigger his firewater alarm
So you best hide him secret good,
give him top-notch, straight jacket security protection
Don’t report the things you should —
we here at the White House didn’t learn our spin lesson
This suit comes with gold star recommendation invisible,
dust for prints on his portfolio before the law do though
Any damaging domestic violence FBI report
need to be OO executive toilet flushed
This clandestine meeting has to be cut short,
and kept on the down low hush-hush
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