Mama's Masonjar Theology

My mother-in-law drinks her morning gin out of a pint-size Mason jar, and self-righteously prides herself for not wasting water by adding any in and for not pouring or drinking before her biscuit and red-gravy breakfast, usually about eight a.m. now that she's long retired from abusing victims of public housing mismanagement, where she was the chief resident mismanager. When I tell her I am joining a Unitarian-Universalist faith community, she is curious to know what kind of Christian church that could be with such a high-flautin' pretentious name. Another true and undisputed, yet unfortunate, fact about my mother-in-law, is her unquestionable faith she is Tyler Perry's sole and soul inspiration for Medea, but more of an Anniston, Alabama version, where even Reverend King feared he would meet his Maker without being sufficiently medicated on HolySpirit gin from a faithful morning Mason jar. "Universally what" she wants to know. "Universally white folks crazy for jihad or a crusade for Christ or a great Inquisition, or whatever you call these terrifying strange fruit days and cross-burning nights." No, kind of the opposite of jihad. The Universalist side of our hypenated aisle came from New England Enlightenment Age roots, giving voice to ecstatic experiences of universal salvation. We are all wounded sinners but we are also all following our healthy trust and truth paths toward cooperatively universal self and other forgiving light despite co-creating this wounded EarthTribal life together. "Get behind me Devil!" "If we're all saved then why haven't the KKK and the white nationalist NRA and the sanctimonious RightWing white evangelists and universal voter registration denouncing preachers in Washington got the HolySpirit's good news yet?" Well, that's a good question. I suppose that's because they haven't yet experienced the other side of our hypenated aisle, the Unitarian, interdependent WinWin cooperative healthy-wealth of Earth's radically democratic passion for compassionate ego/eco-liberal love relationships-- Like a mother's womb for her unitarian-universalizing temporary resident. "It's probably just the gin, but you're finally starting to talk some sense. Or not. I need a refill in this Mason jar. So, what do you believe in, besides universal integrity's health potential?" We have seven principles, beginning with defending global ego-rights to be cooperatively held and celebrated in equal dignity and respect, And ending with our active hope that healthy life is and should be and would be and could be an interdependently compassionate experience if we had less wounded egos and felt more ecologically and theologically connected to all living webs transubstantiating all past and future health-wealth regenerators. "Like a good buzz without the hangover." And, like a healthy impulse without the compulsive long-term addictive side-effects. "Now was that your Universal judgment speaking or your Unitarian compassion?" Like health and wealth, and yang and yin, and light and dark, universal and unitarian invite best cooperatively together and not pushing each other competitively apart. "Like a good universal buzz with a unitarian hang together to not hang strange fruit apartheid, just like Jesus said."